Coroners Inquests

I'm as confused as you,Annie , about the current distinction between mental disorder and mental illness. As long as you tell your daughter's children that their Mum was "poorly" or some such local word, hopefully that will explain things for them.
And you're right to refuse an interview with the press, they're sure to get it wrong.
Love to all your family x

So true bmacca , thank you

Annie, I think you're right to say that. There is a world of difference between our lived experiences of mental health difficulties and what medical terms may label us with. Wishing you peace

Thank you bmacca. Nothing more I can do for my daughter but we have always told her children she had a mental illness and it was this which at times caused her erratic behaviour

Annie, I think those things get coded under depression/anxiety which is categorised as mental disorder. I think hospitals tend to just stick to these and of course it means they don't really have to provide any explanations. Medical terminology doesn't really help much I'm sorry to say. Sadly mental health services often appear to fail people but I hope you can get to a stage where you can put that part of it out of your mind, and concentrate on your love and happy memories of your daughter

Thank you bmcca, does self harming and suicide attempts also come under a disorder not an illness ?

I'm so sorry for the losses you have both suffered, and hope you can find the strength to reach some sort of peace.
*Annie, just to let you know that anxiety, depression & OCD are categorised as mental disorders not mental illness so the hospital would be technically correct in saying there was no mental illness. I know this doesn't seem fair, given some of the difficulties that your daughter went through, but I just thought it may help to explain that they were sticking to medical coding terms

morethan thank you. We are beyond any sort of help, there is nothing more we can do but, somehow, learn to live with our loss and make memories with those we love and treasure.

Anniebach and Nonnie I am thinking of you both and wish I could do more.

Nonnie, I will be receiving a downloaded hearing of the full enquiry.

So sorry the PM didn't show a cause for your sons desth ,

The coroner was kind to my son in law, but he can only make a decision based on the statements . He cannot accuse the hospital of lying.

Annie somewhere back in the thread you asked if you can get a transcript of yesterday, yes you can, it is all recorded and is in the public domain. Having read everything since you said that it is possible you no longer want to read it as it won't change a thing and won't bring her back.

We had a different experience yesterday at DS's inquest. The coroner was kind and thoughtful and didn't read out the whole of each report, just the relevant bits. The reports from his boss and his GP were very positive. The only clue we have is that he had a recurrent gastric issue and had phoned work to say he was too ill to go in. We saw evidence of that in his home.

So we will never know how he died or if he was in pain but at this stage it is pretty meaningless because it won't bring him back. I think that the death certificate will say 'Open Conclusion'.

Now we have to find a way to get on with out lives.

Thank you all x

Sorry I didn't reply last night, there was much to do and much more to think about.

The link I posted about the inquest into Grahams death was to share with you why I was so concerned about the inquest into my daughters death.

We have to accept the verdict which just stated the sodding obvious , I had tried so hard to have the reasons why my daughter took her life given, one statement from a hospital prevented this, the mental health services in town were not asked for a statement yet they too were treating my daughter, it was they who I rang for help shortly before she died and they refused to pass on information to the person she was seeing every week, they said if I thought she was trying to take her life to phone the police. I said this in my statement , I also gave the name of the last person she spoke to that night, she was not asked to give a statement .

The coroner told my son in law there isn't always a reason for suicide, the person just wants to die ! My child wanted to live, to move from the dark place she was in .

I have contacted a local mental health support group and the local mental health NHS advice centre to ask how someone can be on long term medication for severe depression, anxiety, OCD, several suicide attempts , self harming , several stays in a mental health Ward not be suffering from any mental illness .

I can do no more, I will refuse to give an interview with the local newspaper, they asked me last November if I would after the inquest .i want to but my grandchildren cannot be subjected to anymore distress , I know my darling daughter would want this above all else.

Now I have to get to grips with my own problems, more weight loss, muscle wastage, change my will , learn about living wills and more. What concerns me now is my son in law I want him to move forward , his love for my daughter has never wavered , he never gave up hope, that has now gone, his children are moving on and I worry that he will be so very lonely.

Your care , kindness and support has helped me so much, I thank you all x

I hope you are feeling less distressed than last night.
Your daughter is past her pain and at rest.
You have done everything you possibly could do for her.
I wish that you will be able to find some measure of peace for yourself now.

How heartbreaking. I can hardly imagine the pain you have gone through and will still be feeling. What a very brave and strong lady you are. Thinking of you at this very sad time.

Annie, you are living through every parent's worst nightmare. Whilst you are in so much pain, your lovely girl is no longer suffering.

I hope you can derive some comfort from the outpourings of praise for her in the cathedral. You heard what so many people said about her and you can be very proud. Let the tears flow and know that we're here for you. xx

? Bless you, Annie.

I read the article - was it the same coroner? How strange.

So you can let it rest now and move on unless you and SILs want to fight for an open verdict or suicide while not of sound mind ( sorry I don’t know the correct terminology). If you want to do the latter you could give an interview to the local paper telling them everything you’ve told us. They may or may not print it, and if they do, it may have no effect. Life can be so unfair at times.

No words Annie because I can't imagine your pain. Try to be kind to yourself.

Annie today must have been so distressing for you and your SIL. You both know far more than the coroner could ever know.

Please remember the happy times, and the day when your lovely daughter's life was celebrated in the cathedral. You were then, and are today, surrounded by much goodwill and loving thoughts, mine too.

Annie what can I say? Like others have said, there are no words. But I too wish you peace x

I have no words to help just now Annie, I hope with all my heart for peace for you and your family and send love to you all.

Sending you warm thoughts too Annie.

Sending you kind thoughts, I so wish there was something practical that I could do to help you

My thoughts are with you after such a distressing day.

May God bless you and keep you, Annie. I hope it helps you in some small way to know that so many of us hold you in our thoughts.