Criticism.

Nevertheless - a good post Monica!

Nanwind Implicit in your post is an assumption that if someone asks for help or advice we should support them, regardless of whether supporting them is the right thing. Some people's problems arise from their unreasonable behaviour and is it right or fair we should support them and say how we agree with their stance.

For example:Someone posts to say that they live a 10 minute walk from a new GC and want to see them every day, but their DS, says, no, once a week, because everyone wants to see DC and he and his wife want some family time alone with their DC. Would you immediately agree with this person, even though their demand is clearly unreasonable? Isn't kinder and fairer to point out that it is her DGC's parents to decide on visits, not hers to demand?

Sometimes the person seeking help gives too little information or we suspect we are not getting the whole story. It is not reasonable to expect us to give unreasoned support for every problem posed.

Oh dear, does this make me, one of the critical and insulting posters?

Hi, Nanawind. I made my first post on GN last summer after lurking for a while. It was very nearly my last post! I expressed a view which didn't chime with the majority and a couple of people pounced on that and more-or-less suggested I'm a horrible person from a horrible family and devoid of all normal feelings. Ouch.
I decided to try again with something a little less controversial and now dip in and out as the mood takes me, gradually learning where I'm likely to "lock horns" with someone and avoiding those threads if I don't want the aggro.
Overall, GN, is a friendly, fun and supportive environment. I've also met a handful of other GNers via local meets and found them to be just as friendly, fun and supportive in RL, too. Please stick around!

Day6 ?
Fortunately I get ‘tooled up’ before entering those threads.

Hello nanwind I agree that posts asking for help and support need gentler comments than any other threads.
Most posters do adhere to that I think.

Welcome nanwind I think you will find that GN is on the whole a very supportive place.

As others have said the politics threads do get very heated because people have strong views. Like Day6 I tend to avoid those threads now - not because I don't have opinions but because, to be honest, I don't see the point of arguing with people who I don't know, will probably never meet and who will have no effect on my life!!

Welcome to Gransnet nanwind. As others have said, it does take a little while to become used to and comfortable with the site, but you will find most of us friendly and welcoming. The thing is, not everyone finds it easy to put their thoughts into words, and they can unintentionally come across as clumsy and uncaring, especially without the body language that we are so used to in real life.
Just jump in and post away - you'll soon get used to it (but maybe give the news and politics threads a wide berth, at least until you've grown a thick hide )

Sorry sorry ... sent too soon.

Perhaps we should have a pact and politely reprimand s

Welcome nanwind most of us are friendly. Political topics can get heated I usually avoid those as I have quite enough of that at home. Sometimes advice can be a bit hard to hear cant it but I think its meant kindly- the written word can look a bit stark at times on social media. You can always personal message someone you find sympatico. Like me!

Day6 Yes! That's about right. I avoid it nowadays.

If you post on (AIBU) am I being unreasonable you may well find you get get some honest responses you do not like .
Do think yourself about what you want to post before doing so. Some such posts do sound really unreasonable to many posters.

I think that while the vast majority of posts are supportive, its too easy to pay too much attention to the ones that are not. However, if you post on a forum you must expect a wide variety of opinions.

PS: Avoid the News and Politics forum though. That's heavy going and you need knuckledusters, coshes, ropes, whistles and an armed body guard before going in there. No holds are barred and unless you've got the hide of a rhino and a bottle of Valium I'd give it a miss.

I've sometimes thought we need little icon attachments that signify

"Want justification Only posts that agree wanted here"

or

"Feeling tender. Be honest but sympathetic."

or

"Tell me what to do. All opinions welcome"

Then we'd know and wouldn't tread on toes.
Might be a bit dull though.......

Hello Nanawind.
Most Gransnetters are really good at offering advice, sympathy, experiences etc and yes, at times there can be a few differences of opinion, but that's what you'd get in 'real life' too, I suppose. I quite like hearing differing views and although a few people might be direct and sound harsh I think most people know threads move on and usually no offence is taken. It's easy to steer clear of any spats but they really are few and far between in my experience. Enjoy!

That's what I thought baggs.

The thread about feeling lonely on Gransnet has slipped off the Active page but, if I remember correctly, I don't think the person who started it was criticising or being criticised. I think the loneliness was caused by a feeling of not quite fitting in or belonging yet.

As others have said above, it takes time. Just jump in, the water's lovely!

WelcomeNanawind ,yes farview is right you need to give it some time to get used to things. If someone asks for advice what is posted may not be what they want to hear but that does not mean its bad advice. Political threads do get heated at times but you can steer clear of those if you wish.
Good luck

Welcome to you Nanawindit takes a while,I think to really get into GN but most of the netters really are friendly.?