Childcare criticism

I guess it is

Ask them to lay out a feeding routine as to what to eat and drink and when then just have a lovely day around that. Quite agree about the dummy! she cannot chat back with a dummy but ..... Headshake! I gues. It is all about a little give and take from both sides.

Sounds like silence about meals etc is the best way forward as long as they get her back happy and in one piece that’s all they really need to know Thankfully I was only ever given guidelines when looking after littlies and no interrogation beyond has she/ he been ok did they eat their dinner up or have they had a nap and just general ‘all been fine we ve had a great time’ was never questioned beyond
Daughter in law sounds very defensive perhaps she’s picking holes as she’s not too confident herself or feels guilty or doesn’t want Nan to do it better I d ignore it all and hand her back with a big smiley had a lovely day she’s been a dream

I would also expect a child that age still to have milk during the day

I think 5 hours is too long a gap between food for a 13 month old .They dont eat a lot at one time so small amounts more regularly is what I'd give .Maybe a small banana around 9.30 and a handful of raisins if raisins are still allowed or even a half slice of toast.I'd also give her a small cube of cheese or a slice of cooked ham with her apple .I had a very poor eater and this was the recommended food pattern I was given back then

I can understand that you want to be with your grand daughter, and I think you are bringing her up extremely well, but if all you get in return is this barrage of criticism I would seriously think about suggesting they employ paid child care.

I've always said from the beginning 'my house, my rules' but fortunately 'my rules' more or less coincided with the parents. Like other posters I'd concentrate on the positives such as the outing and the fun things and if they moan about a change of clothes then that's their prerogative. They obviously trust you to look after their child and the child is happy so if you find the experience enjoyable keep quiet and do things YOUR way when in your house.

It's never easy looking after grandchildren is it? I often wonder how mine survived their childhood as I obviously knew nothing about childcare. It sounds as if you are doing your best which from what you say about her day appears absolutely fine to me. I would be tempted to tell them they can find alternative child care if they want so that you can return to your full time job.

Did they bottle or breast feed them every 2 hours? If so I really don't know how they managed to do anything else.
I agree with others who say keep quiet about your day and in future change them back into the original clothes.
They are very lucky you pick her up, a nursery or child minder wouldn't be doing that so their day would be even longer.
I think I would ask if they are happy with your care as they can make other arrangements if they like.

Having my little grandsons here for the last 5 weeks we've realised parenting has changed in so many ways since ours were small and feeding every two hours seems the norm. The day you had sounds fine and your GD sounded content and happy - I would agree just put it down to a bad day on the parents part and hope next week goes better.

You're all very patient, is all I can say.

Just put it down to a bad day. Perhaps they were tired and grumpy or had quarrelled. New day, new beginning!

Perhaps they should make alternative child care arrangements ( and pay for it). I wonder if they’d be so critical / unpleasant if this was a paid childminder who had changed the clothes etc.

I’m guessing this is their first child. I’m sure we can all relate to this.

My advice, don’t tell them everything. I don’t mean keep anything from them, but I found if they wanted feedback then tell them all the positives eg how good she was and about the museum trip.

Personally I think an apple mid afternoon is fine, but you know what parents are like! If you perhaps carry a few extras snacks with you? However I see your point as you had intended to give her tea and didn’t want to ‘spoil her appetite’.

I have a theory why parents are like this, especially with first babies and it’s that they feel guilty about not being able to look after their own children as they usually both need to work.

Don’t let this upset you too much. I learned how to play the game and that was hand them back as quickly as possible, don’t get into a discussion with them (I’d have left them to discover the runny nose themselves) don’t acknowledge any criticism (ie say nothing), and remember they need you more than you need to do this.

And finally enjoy your granddaughter.