Soop's warm and welcoming kitchen...

A beautiful, sunny and peaceful day in Kintyre. Greetings one and all.

We often meet a lovely gentleman in Campbeltown when we pop into the Royal for coffee. He's been married for a very long time and his wife has been very poorly for at least the last ten years. He has been her sole carer. He rarely had a full night's sleep, as his wife wished to do the housework during bedtime hours. We have seen him utterly exhausted, in tears, doing the weekly shop in Tesco and the GP finally endeavoured to have the dear lady sectioned. He was distraught. Dear lady had a heart attack and was airlifted to Glasgow where she remained in intensive care for a time. She rallied. She was moved to the high dependency ward and continued to improve. Her overall well-being is being "assessed" in a hospital in Kintyre. She may remain there for six weeks. Guess what? Her dear husband misses her terribly...he can't sleep because there is NO disturbance (hoover sounds and shifting of furniture) during the night. He dreads going home because she isn't there to give him orders. He confesses to feeling totally lost and alone. He says that he cannot begin to feel happy until she's back home and he once again continues the daily routine of caring for her.

Aaargh!!! Sorry, I can’t cope with further orders - this lot must have affected me because I dreamed last night that three of my aunts came to our house and scoffed the lot while the icing was drying! They said that my father said they could have them. I think I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes at the thought of having to start again!
N&G do you think it is all the stress of having his garden reduced to a bog that is upsetting Sam, when he’d just got used to making it his own sight, sounds and smells place? I hope he is better soon and that you don’t need gas and air at the vet’s! I remember that!
Maw I can add nothing to what others have said this morning except to be kind to yourself and don’t set your emotional expectations too high for a while.
Ann I know from when my brother in law was ill how difficult things are for you and how all around a once gentle, clever, humorous man were sorely tried, and how it tested our patience to the limit, as this is testing yours. ??
GQ I have always found it very difficult not to ‘sweat the small stuff’, and yes, we could all do with some signs that spring is round the corner. If I could be a***d to go into my garden, I might find some, but it looks bloomin’ cold out there.
Well, the biscuits have gone, having just been picked up by SiL on his way home from work. He asked if there were any spares. I told him no, he would have to buy some!
I have a bathroom to clean so I had better go and get on with it. I will look in later.

Maw I have a curtain fitted at my front door because the cat flap is very draughty (or is it drafty?). If I was selling tomorrow I would remove it but it does keep the heat in and Tara, being intelligent negotiates it with ease irrespective of how it is fitted close to the cat flap.

Greyduster I am surprised that the "project manager" only requested 128 biscuits- surely you could have come up trumps especially with help from your DD! May my name be placed on your mailing list please?

Ann I have no idea how you cope- one would need the patience of a saint and a certain level of deafness.

I also must venture out later because my stocks are also running low.

I cannot believe it- this is yet another month when my premium bonds did not come up trumps with the one million pound prize.

Morning all !

I have recovered my good humour this morning and caught up on all the comings, goings and buggerations with you lot !

Great biscuits Grey , proper works of culinary art ;-)

Callgirl you have such a lot going on at the moment I am in awe of you !! I can't do much to help but to say I'm thinking of you and hope on top of everything else you are taking care of yourself too !

You're right Grannie its not the big stuff that breaks you its that small insignificant straw. BUT I am back on form this morning so all is well chez NanaandGrampy!!

We have just that sort of curtain Maw and Charley over the entrance to the new orangery. Because we have to have a window open to help the plaster dry its pretty nippy out there. Once all is done, we'll keep the curtain up ( it draws to one side completely) for chilly nights or just to make the lounge cosier.

Hope your day is mellow Maw , its silly to say a good day because sometimes just getting through the day is enough , but I hope there are no great highs or lows . Sometimes stable is enough.

Sam has been poorly and disgraced himself 2 nights ago , but not his fault. I have never known a dog in all my years with as delicate a tummy as this one. It doesn't take much to upset it and then he is miserable for a couple of days until recovered.

I think some of that misery is that i always starve him for 24hrs. As a Cavalier he lives for a full tummy and he looked pretty pitiful last night when offered some scrambled egg and rice.... if dogs could talk the air would have been blue !!

But hopefully he is on the mend otherwise I can see this weeks pocket money going on a trip to the vets!!

Wishing you all a little blue sky today !!

Dear Maw I hope before too long passes, the down days become less frequent, and the positive ones more so.
I don't think any of us are prepared for the reality until it happens to us.
At the present time I find it very hard to remember my H as he was, I can imagine all my frustrations of life now would disappear if he died first and I would mourn the man he was, funny, intelligent and loving. Those qualities have gone and he has no conversation at all that isn't weather or complaining based.
Change of subject before I get too maudlin, yesterday was so cold, I have to do some shopping or we will starve today so I hope it is milder.
I hope things improve for callgirl and her family and I notice Greyduster is absent without leave in case she gets more biscuit orders. It is her own fault for being so good at it.?

Galen

I know what you mean charleygirl but I looked into the cost of a new door because the wind whistles through ours and they are ridiculously pricey.
I decided to look for/ make a thick curtain like houses used to have - certainly in the days of my Scottish childhood.
I have been on a bit of a downer this week but slept well without either the dram or the dozyclone last night so let’s see how today goes

maw I feel for you- it was so eloquently written and I know came from the bottom of your heart. Hattie I know is a help because irrespective of how you feel, she must be fed, watered and walked.

I am having my front door lock changed today- I did shop around but hearing the cost I wondered if it may be cheaper in the long run to have a new door fitted. Anyway, I doubt if this lock is even gold plated. There is nothing wrong with the present lock- this is mainly for security reasons.

It was so cold early am not even Tara wanted to leave the warmth of the house but she has now ventured out.

Rotten couple of days. Will post tomorrow if I get time!

My goodness greyduster, those biscuits look amazing, just wondering if you do mail order? ducks to avoid the flying rolling pin I’m glad I’m not the only one who is under orders from a dd at times, my personal physio terrorist can be a tough cookie!
Hope tomorrow’s a better day, n&g. The trouble with “niff naff” is that on a grey kind of day it doesn’t feel trivial at all. Roll on spring, I say!
Thank you maw for your honesty in telling it as it really is for you at the moment, not many folk are brave enough to do that. Like others I sometimes wonder how I’ll fare if it happens to me. for all who somehow find the strength to get up in the morning, smile in public but weep in secret.
Night all x

JaneD3, your post made me picture a quiet, peaceful room, best wishes to you and to your lovely mum.
Maw, I empathise with all that you wrote, it`s so hard, isn`t it?
Daughter 3 has just brought back the pile of ironing that she took only last night. She`s been at work all day, how she found the time I don`t know.
Dawn drove to the hospital this afternoon because her hubby had an appointment at out patients. My grandson took a wheelchair up to the ward, brought him down to out patients, only for them to be told that the appointment had been cancelled!
Lynne had another hospital appointment this afternoon, my granddaughter came to help get her outside and to go with us, but she ended up doing it all herself, as my back and knees were, still are, playing up. Now they want to see her again in a few weeks, they`re on about trying her with a drug that`s used for cancer patients, but has helped a lot of people with rheumatoid arthritis. She might as well give it a go.
Soop, love the painting.
Greyduster, when are you baking your next batch of biscuits, lol! Sterling work!

Greyduster Your biscuits are a work of art. I wouldn't hesitate to buy them all and eat a few for good measure.

Crafting I echo your words regarding Maw's eloquent insight into her personal bereavement.

It's good to have your company N&G and ann

Bye for now. I intend to join you all again tomorrow afternoon.
It's blowing a near-hurricane outside. Stay safe.

Dear maw I have often wondered how I would (or perhaps will) cope without my DH. Like you and paw we have been together a long time and I love him dearly. We do everyone together and I cannot imagine life without him. I gain some insight from your posts, the touching way in which you describe both happy and sad times are so truly eloquent. Sometimes we laugh with you and sometimes cry with you. I think you should write a book. You have a way with words and expressing yourself that many do not. It is always a pleasure to read what you have written whether just your thoughts on your day or one of your funny or sad poems. ((Huggs))

Greyduster, stirling work there, they look scrumptious.
Actually I am thinking of doing a charity coffee morning sometime soon, 100 would do nicely......

https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/201802/medium-574232-430b6668-0cf4-4236-ae18-8861af71993d.jpeg%3C/span%3E https://signal-corridor.live/uploads/talk/201802/medium-656764-a7ece054-2187-45a2-80bf-defcd9519967.jpeg%3C/span%3E

Anyone like a biscuit? Have been up to my neck in muck and bullets all day, baking and icing forty biscuits for my grandson’s charity bake sale at school tommorrow. The request from GS’s class mate, the “project manager”, was for a hundred and twenty eight!! She’ll get about seventy from DD and myself combined. If she wants anymore, she knows what to do because we have both lost the will to live, and I am on my knees! DH said “Why in earth do you let yourself in for these things?” Well, you have to, don’t you, cos it’s what Nanny’s do!
Having not been in the kitchen for a couple of days I have not an earthly chance of catching up except to send my kindest good wishes and a hug to all who are suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or ill health, at the moment.
My daughter managed to get me kitted out with one of her fitness trackers. It is not impressed with me, having been left on the coffee table most of the morning and when I wore it this afternoon, I have been mostly standing still! I think it’s sulking! I shall be getting complaints from She Who Must be Obeyed!
Soop that is, once again, a wonderful painting. You have captured Bruce’s likeness to a T. One very talented lady ?.
I now have to think about our evening meal, although it wouldn’t bother me if I never saw my kitchen again!!

Evening all,

Avery quick pop in , I have loads to catch up on so I'll pop in tomorrow when I have.

Its been a miserable day here , mostly nothing worth noting so I will give myself a good talking to and be in better form tomorrow.

Sending a big hug to all of those with REAL worries ( unlike my niff naff and trivia) .
xx

My own ironing beckons. I'm a devil for punishment!

Maw A very touching message straight from the heart.

About to mount and frame the portrait of Bruce, the chocolate Labrador. I shall give it to the lady who is on the staff at the care home.

Thank you morethan.
I am realising bereavement is like banging your knee or elbow, it diesn’t hurt for a momen or two, , then the pain sets in. Translate that to days/weeks/months (and I dare say YEARS watch this space)
The initial shock and feeling stunned etc plus all the focus numbs the pain in a way in the early days, but as everybody else gets back to “normal”, life goes on, the tears are more restricted to nights or at least the private moments, that’s when the pain sets in, the bleakness of the future and the inner loneliness.
My sincerest sympathies to your Sis-in-law, of course there is no need for guilt, but that doesn’t stop it washing over you. To those of you who have lost, or are in the process of losing a dear one, or know that it’s ever near, my heartfelt sympathy. It is hard to put into words but the feelings are very strong.

Good afternoon from a bright and breezy Kintyre. Ironing session done, and I'm home again.

Our friend is coping famously with being back in her own home. I'm very proud of her. The staples will be removed from the wound on Monday. On Tuesday she'll be able to travel with us to visit her husband in the care home. She says that she feels like "a new woman"...how good is that!

morethan You are doing a grand job. Keep up with the good work.

JaneD3 You are a good and caring daughter.

callgirlYour family is facing a dilemma and hopefully there will be a satisfactory outcome. Please continue to take very good care of yourself. for you, too.

Hello everyone. As usual I haven’t had much time to keep up with all your comings and goings. I’ve been in Manchester to support my sister in law during the anniversary of my MiL death. She’s had a very difficult year...grieving is so very hard. Mum had such a very awful last two years and my poor sister in law feels unnecessarily guilty. Just over a year ago we were in the same position as you JaneD3 so look after yourself. maw please know you are never far from my thoughts. callgirlI hope things get sorted for your family. I have no news from my DiL. No news is good news. I’m off again to Norfolk to look after my grandsons on Saturday. I don’t think I’ve had a whole month at home since retiring last March. Oh well at leastI’m not bored!

jane you have my sympathy. I felt guilty using my phone while I was with mum in case I missed something vital. Stupid me!

Good advice from Crafting, Callgirl. Presumably social services are involved now?

I am sitting by my sleeping mum at the care home. Each time I wonder how she can fade any further. Talk about the wartime generation! Such fighters.

Thank you all for your understanding replies, you`re all great.

Crafting, they do know how things are, but I think that they are just relieved that it`s not them who are having to put up with it. They are giving him 2 weeks respite care whilst Dawn gets back on her feet, but her son is talking about making it more permanent, they just have to convince the other 4, plus his mother, brother and sister.

Why don't you suggest that your DD asks his 4 other children to have him for a while to help out while she is recovering. They will soon change their minds! It is extremely likely that he will have to go into a dementia care home. Do his children know how bad things are? Do they visit often, see the aggression or other habits you mentioned. They need to be made aware how difficult things have become for your DD.

I can write this having seen what happened in my DB case. Things got better for both of them when he was in the care home. My SIL was able to spend quality time with my DB as the nursing staff took care of all his personal hygiene and mediacation needs.