I am cross

I use envelope corners too. One used envelope can make 4 bookmarks and are always readily available. No excuse for turning down corners.

Leave it a couple of weeks and then say that you were re-reading a favourite book and we're dismayed to find the creased pages. Say that you can't remember who you lent it to, but that you were quite upset. If she doesn't get the message just don't lend her any more books!&

When I was a child, my Father bought a set of Children's Encyclopaedias. I still remember a section about treating books with respect with comical diagrams. However, one particular piece of advice has stuck with me. If you do not have a bookmark, cut a fairly large triangle from the corner of an old envelope. This when opened up,can be slid over the corner of the page and become the bookmark. I still use this method now and again.
Just for the record, a few years ago, I managed to track down a set of my long lost encyclopaedias in a charity shop,and they came straight home with me to relive some wonderful, albeit very outdated reading. ??.

Well you have to ask yourself ( as I said) what are the chances that you are going to re read a wall of books? It is pretty well, nil, isn't it.
Of course I am not advocating getting rid of all the things that you love. Just be mindful that someone ( unless you do it yourself) is going to be left to clear up after you when you die.
So many old people cling on to every damn thing. It makes the houses difficult to clean, etc.its not fair on their children either.
My inlaws had and still have lots of intricate ornaments that in the end got very dirty, through neglect.
I have two friends in their 70's who have downsized to houses that are still too large for them, with huge gardens. Who exactly is going to look after their gardens, when they can', and clean the large rooms. ( their children)
Because of my experiences, I am moving from a huge house in its own grounds to a small semi detached. I can afford a cleaner and a gardener, but unfortunately as you age you become vulnerable and you can't trust anyone.
My FIL lost his false teeth after his last stay in Hospital and my step MIL lost her wedding ring and watch. My MIL lost her ring and her hearing aids. The name 'carers' is a joke.

I would urge everyone not to cling on to stuff. De clutter and move to small easily maintained places whilst you can.

As I said 'books' are heavy, and China, or anything that you haven't used for the last five years should go.
I have been sorting the photographs out, and making sure they and my files are all neatly labelled. I have around 7 books left that I love and might re read. The others have gone to a charity shop. I now read a book and then give it away or leave it somewhere conspicuous.
I have iPad with Kindle on it and ' libraVox which is wonderful.
You are fretting about a corner turned down on a book....sorry but you need to chill. Life is far to short.

It looks as though I am almost at odds with everyone's opinions on here, but then perhaps they haven't cleaned out as many homes filled with as much stuff as I have.

I have a very circle of friends. We meet up for coffee, birthday lunches etc. One friend passes on presents that she was given, that she obviously has no use for, to me. Chocolate boxes whose packaging do not look ‘fresh’, if you see what I mean. I got candles for 2 consecutive years. I feel no thought is put in to buying presents. I have dropped hints of scarves, earrings etc. But no change. How can I deal with this situation I am in.
I usually get her a jewellery item.

Why don't you just say "of course you can borrow it, it's really good, but please don't turn the corners down - it drives me mad"?

I am a library assistant and we get a lot of the things mentioned in these posts. I always use a book mark and hate to see corners turned down. We do get people that write notes in books especially if it is something they are studying. I have often had to wade through and rub out notes. Some people even write in comments on the story. I have found strange things used as bookmarks, loo roll, lottery tickets, cocktail sticks, prescriptions and even bank notes . Luckily we were able to find the previous borrower and return the money.

Mutilating a book, any book, goes against the grain! But I do love it when other people use unusual things as book marks, especially when I get them secondhand from wherever. I've had phone numbers, shopping lists, notes, and letters, just wain=ting for someone to forget that they used a £50 note.

I would simply stop lending this friend books, and when she asks if she may borrow one, say no, as you dislike having your books returned with dog ears and creased pages.

I am currently counting the days until Amazon delivers a copy of a book, I lent an acquaintance 20 years ago, which she never returned and denied every having borrowed! As I had bought it in Tel Aviv it has proved very difficult to find again, especially as I could remember neither the name of the author or the exact title, until I was looking through an old university exam paper recently.

That little story stopped me lending books to anyone; they can read my books here in our house, or photocopy the pages they want on my printer. If they want the book, then they can either buy it themselves, or order it at the local library, but simply copying the ISBN number

I think 'mutilating' a book in any way is totally unacceptable, particularly somebody else's book. Don't lend her any more.

I never borrow books. I'm too irresponsible! Not that I would ever turn over the pages, but I worry about spillages and such.

I hate bent pages in a book, why people have to do it, is beyond me! Use a bookmark, there are plenty to choose from, or even just a piece of paper. Yes some of my books have seen better days, but none have bent corners or doodles in them, no writing on the pages.

I totally agree with you. Your friend obviously doesn’t respect books and definitely should not have done that on a borrowed book. Guess you won’t be lending her any more more books to spoil.

I do like my kindle for all the reasons others have outlined. For the poster who said I should get rid of them all anyway for the sake of my children I am afraid I can;t agree. These books are my treasures and yes I do read them again. I am no hoarder and my house is very uncluttered so I don't think a wall of books is a big thing and it brings me a lot of joy. Are we to rid ourselves of all the things we love because one day we won't be here any more? (I do understand you are writing from the position of having a hard time clearing your FIL's house though)

I hate it when people fold the corners on my books. I'm very fussy about who I lend a book to after a few bad borrowers . One person returned a book after my nagging for its return after several months. She had not only folded corners but taken off the dust cover , and had written comments on several pages. In ink no less !!! So I'm very wary about lending books to people , certainly never to an acquaintance. I'm a pain in the arse really as not only do I give you certain rules 're my book but after a month deem you must have finished it by now. Where is it ?

Well I feel shamefaced to admit that I do turn down corners as I'm forever losing book marks. They drop out and I lose my place or I put it down when reading and it disappears (fou nd one down the edge of the sofa recently.) To me books are meant to be READ and not displayed in a bookcase in a pristine condition. A well loved, often read book should look a bit dogeared in my opinion.

However I am speaking of my own books and I would never do this to a borrowed book. I take great care of books I borrow. I did lend a brand new (unread) book recently to someone in my book club which she returned in a dreadful state. Sorry, she said, I read it in the garden and it rained. . (It looked as if it had been dropped in a muddy puddle). I haven't lent her a book since.

I never write in books except my own text books .

I prefer electronic books anyway. I can annotate and bookmark as I please, and it's only got my germs on it

I'm a librarian and hate when people fold down the corners or write in the margins. Highlighter pens are a big no-no too. Things found in books? Once when I worked in an American library I found a big wad of chewed-up tobacco someone had used as a bookmark.....

You are quite right to be offended. One can do what one likes to one's own property but not to that lent kindly by others.

Have you asked her not to on your books?

Done with lending, one important hardback book that I emphasised I wanted back has disappeared and I can't remember who I lent it to last. The person I thought says she gave it back.

At times I would like to turn a corner down but know I mustn't and there is always something around ro mark the page without damaging it. Never write. I like paper books but mostly read on my kindle where you can add notes or highlight to your hearts ♥️ content but I don't.

I've given up lending books, they are never returned willingly and if I remind it is taken as a trust issue. I keep a stock of bookmarks to hand (recycled Christmas cards!)

That is just disrespectful but I quite often find that with things when you lend them. I once lent a drill to someone who burned it out and the bit because of the way they used it. They replaced the very cheap bit because it was a new one but refused to replace the drill because it was old, in their eyes. I was not impressed.

Bookish
Certainly not. It is your property and should be respected.
I would now refrain from lending and advise others of the local library and Kindle.

I totally agree with you, bookish. It’s very inconsiderate to fold down corners in someone else’s book. I agree with FarNorth: in your place, if the friend asked again, I would tell her I wasn’t happy about the folded corners and ask her to use a bookmark (or paperclip). I would offer her a bookmark. If she did it again I wouldn’t lend her any more.