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Bad Boss

(15 Posts)
MissAdventure Fri 12-Jan-18 16:58:45

Staying at home isn't an option for single parents now. They are expected to work, and a lot do find that particularly during school holidays, their wages are all spent on childcare.

FarNorth Fri 12-Jan-18 16:51:13

I hope she can find another job, as it's a very hard choice between harassment from the boss or from the DWP.

FarNorth Fri 12-Jan-18 16:49:23

if she's working merely to fund nursery fees then that makes no sense either.

She works and also gets some benefits. I'd guess she won't get some, or all, of those benefits if she stopped work. She'd have to claim job seekers allowance and then be subject to harrassment, incompetence and the threat of sanctions from the DWP.

M0nica Fri 12-Jan-18 16:35:58

Grannyknot, if she enjoys the job and it gives her a break, I agree, why not. But in these circumstances? Sexually bullied and forced to accept part of her pay in an illegal manner! Staying at home is surely preferable to that.

M0nica Fri 12-Jan-18 16:32:29

In circumstances like this, it is rare for a lock of interest to deter.

The behaviour as described here, has nothing with the bos having a romantic interest in his employer and everything to do with the exercise of power and bullying. Men like that do not accept rejection, however politely or non-confrontationally expressed. In fact it adds spice to the bullying.

Resigning and a constructive dismissal case is the way to deal with this (and a diary of every occasion something is done or said.)

Grannyknot Fri 12-Jan-18 16:28:15

Monica ... re why bother -
because perhaps she wants a break from being a FT mum. Nothing wrong with that.

Jane10 Fri 12-Jan-18 15:21:32

Can she not convey Just by her attitude that she is not interested in any way? Not necessarily direct confrontation or threats just not interested and don't think of doing it again.

M0nica Fri 12-Jan-18 14:51:30

Get out and sue him for constructive dismissal because of sexual intimidation and making her accept some of her pay 'under the counter'. I doubt she ever asked for or wanted to receive some of her pay as cash in hand.

You no longer have to pay to take such cases to a tribunal and her local Citizen's Advice Bureau (CAB) will be able to help and advise her.

If she is only working to pay childcare fees, why bother? Stay at home and look after her child herself.

Luckygirl Fri 12-Jan-18 14:23:22

If some of her income is "under the counter" in relation to her benefits, an unscrupulous boss will be able to exploit her.

She really does need to get out of this situation; if needs be taking her child out of nursery, keeping him at home and claiming appropriate benefits.

If she is skating on the wrong side of the law herself as regards how she is paid, she us likely to be reluctant when it comes to reporting him.

Get out would be my advice - and do it now!

NanaandGrampy Fri 12-Jan-18 14:23:21

Is the real issue if this comes to light is that she has not been declaring all her income?

She has to make I choice I think , but if she's working merely to fund nursery fees ten that makes no sense either.

MissAdventure Fri 12-Jan-18 14:19:07

I think your niece should keep any texts the boss sends, and inform him that she will be taking them to a solicitor for advice if she is too uncomfortable to tell him in person.

Teetime Fri 12-Jan-18 14:05:25

There must be another job she can get and fast!!!

Iam64 Fri 12-Jan-18 12:52:10

It's astounding isn't it that so many men seem to believe they can behave like this. Your niece can't allow him to 'have her in a corner'. She has to either confront him, calmly but strongly and tell him she will involve the police if he ever touches, speaks to her inappropriately and that she has the photographic image of cocaine he sent her to support her complaint.
Alongside that, she would do well to find another job. She isn't alone in working to pay nursery fees but it isn't just about nursery fees, the research suggests mental health is better in those in employment. That won't be so for your niece if the sexual harassment and bullying continue.

travelsafar Fri 12-Jan-18 12:47:04

Oh dear this smacks of the Victorian days.Tell her to get out her safety is more important than anything else.Failing that arrange for a big burly bloke to call in and act like her boyfriend!!!

Berbel Fri 12-Jan-18 12:44:40

Any thoughts welcome. My niece works in a small shop part time. She also claims some benefits. Her boss pays some legitimate hours and some cash inhand. He has begun to speak to her inappropriately and slapped her bottom. He sent her a pic offering her a line of coke (she refused). If she confronts him she is worried of losing her job and her financial situation wont allow for that even though she is basically working to meet te £700 plus nursery fees for her son. He seems to have her in a corner.