Moral dilemma

Take it. Save it up...you have contributed to these benefits for other people to have. We are quite comfortably off... not rich.,, we use ours to pay for help in house and garden, painting, weeding...things my husband would be doing if he was well. Also I am full time carer for my husband but as I have a pension can't claim carer's allowance so I may use some of this to pay for a cleaner. Also you probably need more heating the list is endless how much more it is to have someone who is disabled in the house....I mean this nicely.

The Treasury doesn't have coffers. It has a permanent deficit, and an ever-increasing borrowing requirement. Your not claiming may reduce the overall burden a tiny amount. It won't free up resources that can then go to someone more deserving. Government money doesn't work like that!

Granny23 - our circumstances are similar, but tiny pensions as OH had to leave NHS for health reasons at age 42, so lost many years of their pension. I also have only a tiny work pension - and when I say tiny I mean tiny!

We both have a state pension, but both are small for various family reasons. However we have no mortgage to pay, so manage OK on what we have. We don't do expensive things!

I have finished up doing lots of jobs that I did not normally do and this is not easy as I have various painful conditions myself. But being able to pay for a gardener or some of the heavy jobs would be good - e.g. getting the wood in after delivery etc. Also being able to pay for taxis to get OH to appointments would be helpful and give him a bit more independence rather than having to always rely on me. Weighing in at 7 stone means that we spend a very great deal on heating as he is always cold in spite of the many layers of clothes. It would be good to stop thinking about saving fuel and just keep him warm - but what about saving the planet!!??

We do have a small pot of savings, but have them earmarked in case of emergencies and also for funerals! And we do occasionally dip into it for one thing or another.

If the AA comes through I guess carers allowance would also apply.

Attendance Allowance for DH has just started with the first payment at the beginning of January. He has been awarded the higher rate, currently £88.10 per week, paid 4 weekly in arrears, which for us is a HUGE addition to our budget. It will go towards the Gas/electric bills (DH is always cold and has a habit of leaving the outside doors wide open when he goes out. Also pay for a window cleaner, logs, some help with the heavy work in the garden, etc - all the jobs that DH did himself but can no longer do and that I find hard to manage. Also there is a £10 per diem charge for Day Care and around £100 per diem for Respite Care (the care is free this is to cover food etc.)

I feel quite comfortable about accepting this help as we both worked, paid NI and tax and have never had any benefits before. As DH was self employed most of his working life and I had an 8 year break when the DDs were tiny, neither of us has a full state pension nor a works pension, so we have been using savings to balance the budget.

Lucky Girl if you don't take the money there is no guarantee that it will go to someone in more need than yourselves. We know that you would use it sensibly, which is more than we can say about the Government

Agree with MawBroon, it's an entitlement! Take it and it could help make your lives easier in lots of small ways as mentioned above. You could also help out others by giving to charity if that makes you feel better. You never know when situation might change and you could be really be glad to have that little extra set aside.

If it's a genuine disability I would claim. The money can be saved for the future. Or part used to help others. I know many people claiming for invented illnesses just because they can . They are never better off they just waste it. If it's not claimed it doesn't just go to someone else who needs it. Saving for an unknown future is a good middle road in my opinion.

Take it and use it as you wish. Otherwise the need will be unmeasured

Luckygirl you need to think of your own needs as main carer too. Your caring role saves the state huge costs.
A bit of extra money would help you have some respite time as well as a few shared treats/outings.

This is not a “benefit” but an entitlement.
No it would not go to somebody else but be a mere drop in the ocean of the “benefits pot”.
I put off applying for AA for paw for a year - mostly because I abhor filling in forms but also feeling like you, that there were those worse off. When I finally gave in and applied it came almost by return and “lasted “ only two months until his death.
Do it.

Lucky, on my hobby horse again.

I know you won't need help to fill in the form but please talk about the very worst of days and don't underestimate the help you do give ie laying out clothes, making drinks, ensuring drinks are drunk etc and times when your DH needs assistance in the night.

I assume that you have already got a blue badge - this is not dependent on AA but receiving AA might then have some other benefits kick in eg Pension Credit.

The Severe Mental Impairment act allows a person who has dementia to be discounted for Council Tax and has to be signed by your GP. That would mean a discount of 25%. You might need to explain it to your local council though!!

Forgot to mention too, some benefits can also be a route to claiming other kinds of help. You have to try think of possible future needs and requirements. You come across as a very caring and unselfish lady. Nobody would begrudge people in your situation claiming this help.

Where is the moral dilemma? You paid into an insurance scheme and are going to make a claim.

You have both paid into the scheme and are not asking for anything that you are not legally entitled to. You are not taking from someone else by claiming this money. You say you are “ticking along” at the moment, but as you know, things can change in s heartbeat. You are not claiming this benefit so that you can go live it up on the Costa del Sol, or Blackpool ?. You are entitled to claim it to help make your husband’s and your lives just that little bit easier and less stressful financially. Excellent idea to use some for some respite and to help get around a little easier. I really think you should claim and as other posters have said, there might be an instance where you may need some extra money for an emergency. Please do it and help make your lives that little bit easier.

Do take it, please, you have paid tax all your life. Use the money to, as others have suggested, to pay for help, etc.

We felt very conflicted about claiming benefits for a very disabled younger relative but with the benefits, we discovered that other more practical help was also then also available.

?

Take the allowances to which you are entitled. My mum eventually got the AA after years when I think she could have had it, but didn't. It pays towards care. We all pay taxes towards this which supports our welfare state. (Thank goodness.)

Do you feel you need the benefits this money will bring?
Personally, I wouldn't apply until they were necessary, ie I didn't apply for a bus pass until I had stopped work and I paid for the few medications that I needed rather than getting them on prescription.
You clearly feel uncomfortable about claiming them.

I agree you should take it. DH had PIP and I had Carers Allowance when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had the benefit for less than a year. We didn’t need the money but it went to pay for some of the extras and to charity. It also meant we had a blue badge which was a godsend for hospital visits and trips out as time progressed.
As he died at 64 having worked 40 years he never received a state pension. Don’t feel bad about it, it is there to support you. Use it or give it away as others have said.

Please apply for and take the money. The more people use the system as it is currently constructed the more likely we are to have reviews about how best to use the money being 'allocated'.

Huge swaths of benefits are not claimed but mean governments (of all flavours) can point to the fact that they are available even though few are actually benefiting from them.

The point about being able to pay for someone to sit in is a good one; also taxis etc.

There is a wider argument for taking the money.
In a system to which everyone contributes, it’s important that everyone at some stage gets something back.
If money is only paid out to disadvantaged people and the better off are excluded by means testing, this could lead to resentment and further fuelling of the divisions in our society.

I agree, there are many ways to use the money, not least to make your life just a little easier now possibly setting up things in case life got more difficult. Easier to have things in place before you need them!

Yes, Luckygirl, take the disability benefit. You and Mr L paid in throughout your lives, the benefit is there to give a little support during this difficult period in your lives. If you don't you can be sure it won't be 'saved' and given to someone whose financial need is considered greater.

If you don't take it, that simply means HMG can spend it on all sorts of nonsense (or of course, the NHS) over which you have no say. OTOH if you accept it, you can give it worthy causes of your choosing. I'd take it.

You have paid into the system all your working life luckygirl and so has your partner.
Why shouldn't you claim it?
If there was a storm and your roof needing repairing, would you not claim on your insurance because you were not struggling financially?
The money you are entitled to wouldn't go to anyone else. It would stay just in the Treasury's coffers.

I think Ann makes a lot of sense, Lucky - you have talked about the difficulties you have encountered with your Dh so any help you can get is worth having. You might employ a 'sitter' for instance.

And Harri's point is well made!