Soop's very welcoming kitchen...

I love the photo of N&G boys. Also, the happy girls delighting in the snow. I would have that photo enlarged and framed, kitty

I'm about to return to the fawn portrait. It's pleasing. It's fresh. It hasn't taken long to get this far. Now all I need to do is...^to beware not to over-work it^. I shall confer with you all a little later.

The cake sounds like a cracker Maw, keep breathing deeply I’ve a feeling I caught a whiff of it oop North! Re the reactions of friends, I’d like to think I would be like the friend who gave you a hug. My dilemma at the moment is I have a long standing friend who lives hours away and we just catch up by phone each Christmas with no contact the rest of the year. She has terminal cancer and I am phoning her now on a regular basis and will continue to do so until such time she is unable to take my calls. I struggle with what to talk about with her actually, I mean I can’t say hope you’re feeling better/get well soon etc. We can cover family chit chat but then I feel I should be saying something a little deeper! Not explaining this too well, but perhaps Maw’s other friend is unsure what to say but wants to keep in touch anyway. It’s difficult.

Maw It is very early days for you. Allow yourself all the time you need in which to mourn, reminisce and recover. Us lot will be here for as long as you care to share. I think that your daughter's suggestion is spot on. I would give her an enormous hug.

Oooer, I was awfully tiddly when I returned home. MacSporran was too. Our friend's car (we had a lift) was tricky to get into and out of. I couldn't stop laughing. Thankfully, the new neighbours were not at home to witness me clinging on to Mac's arm as we teetered up the path. I had three drinks! One too many! Anyway, I did no harm. That is the important thing to remember.

Maw and Juliette shysal Very good photos.

charley the rain here has now turned, via sleet, to proper snow. I’m not that far from you so I think you will get the white stuff too. Our German lesson has been cancelled, which is a shame, and now I’ve got no excuse not to catch up with boring stuff around the house. Bother the snow!

I rarely welcome rain but I have today because much of the snow has melted. The remainder is treacherous because it was freezing overnight. I have read that the worst has yet to come- I cannot wait.

Tara is resigned that this is day 2 indoors- it is too cold for her to go out.

Ooh, that sounds like it’s going to be a cracking cake, Maw! I think your daughter’s strategy is very sensible. And you are lucky to have Hattie too. After my DiL died and my son went back to work, his boss, the Squadron Leader, began to bring his dog - a scatty chocolate lab - into the office a bit more, and asked DS to ‘do him a favour’ and walk him at lunchtime which he was happy to do. When Boss went away for three weeks, he asked DS if he would like to ‘do him a favour and have the dog’ while he was away. Well, apart from totally disrupting his pristine and ordered home (no rug, book or newspaper was safe and dog didn’t understand the meaning of “you are not allowed upstairs”!) it was something of a lifesaver for him during that period. It got him out of the house, made him laugh, kept him company. It did make him realise what a lot of work a dog would be, though, and totally impractical in his situation, but it helped in some small way, and it is the small ways that counted most.
I’m off out now that Captain Oates has been outside to defrost the motor. I will look in later.

You’ve a very sensible daughter, maw: sounds a strategy that will not only help but is kind to you.

This is just my personal take on people and death. There are those who instinctively know the right thing to do, even if they put a large foot in it sometimes, but usually get it just right, then there are those who struggle to cope with the reality, get embarrassed, don’t know how to talk to people who have experienced a bereavement and so do their best to pretend it hasn’t happened. As I say, just my take on it. I don’t think I’ve explained well either. I’m not judging, it is hard to know how to be and we all get it wrong sometimes.

You seem to have one of each with your friends. People eh? We’re a strange bunch.

Your cake sounds just right. Ours is much flatter than it should be so I have been overcompensating with feeding it brandy. Need to stop now as it will resemble bread pudding if I’m not careful. I feel the first cut into this cake needs to be without the presence of visitors. Who knows what we will find.

Your twinkly lights sound lovely. Low key is often best anyway. We’ve friends who go mad, they have hanging things, flying things, standing things - you name it they have it. I love it for, oh, half and hour then it all closes in on me.

Right, off out now. No snow to speak of here but lots of ice. Younger son predicts a broken leg - I hope to prove him wrong. .

Apologies for going on about “me, me” but yes, thank you, yesterday was a much better day. No tears at all (mind you, I avoided any Christmassy music and not going to London also avoided the tinies’ carol concert in Walthamstow)
But may I run this past you?
Two friends have reacted totally differently this week and I wonder if I am being over sensitive.
1st friend was driving two of us to Book Club lunch and was clearing away her ironing as I arrived. She gave me a huge hug and apologised for moaning about ironing her husband’s shirts as she thought it might have upset me (it didn’t but bless her for being so considerate.
Another has been sending me Messenger pics and videos of her husband with their little grandson. (Of whom of course they are proud.)
I don’t begrudge them a nanosecond of that, but thought her timing a bit odd. AIBU as they say? She also seems to think that I am “back to normal” now the funeral is behind me.
What is normal?
Anyway DD1 came up with a strategy which is to aim to do ONE thing each day which brings me pleasure and then to try to focus on that good feeling .
So yesterday I put up two pine garlands with tiny fairy lights in them, one in the dining room and one round the bay windowsill, plus a “thing” on the front door and (battery) tealights along the mantlepiece. It looks very pretty, understated but with a nod to Christmas.
Today I am baking the Christmas cake having soaked the fruit in brandy and port since yesterday - the smell alone would get you breathalysed.

DS2 phoned from Oxfordshire yesterday to see how I was coping in the snow. 'What snow?' I asked. We've had just a scattering which has made the trees and shrubs look pretty and today the car has a layer of light snow topped off with hard frost. I will have to get the scraper out later on. Meanwhile, DS took the GSs sledging and his partner posted a video of two figures which might have been them, going like the clappers down a steep hill and disappearing in the distance! Evidently they had a great time.

DS2 phoned from Oxfordshire yesterday to see how I was coping in the snow. 'What snow?' I asked. We've had just a scattering which has made the trees and shrubs look pretty and today the car has a layer of light snow topped off with hard frost. I will have to get the scraper out later on. Meanwhile, DS took the GSs sledging and his partner posted a video of two figures which might have been them, going like the clappers down a steep hill and disappearing in the distance! Evidently they had a great time.

My tree is up and decorated by my GD who came for a meal with us last evening.
My S has put our ( very tasteful ) outside lights up.
It is rather early for me but I took the help while it was there.
I will not bother with much else, probably a festive candle arrangement on the table for Christmas eve and Christmas day.
I must now write the few cards I am sending, I haven't yet received any by post, just some texts and emails saying that the sender is giving to charity instead.
Cold here and a clear sky. Our expected snow didn't happen.

Charleygirl, Mia started asking, very loudly, to go out at 10.30pm, but I refused to unlock the door, so after about 20 minutes of yowling, she finally deigned to use the litter tray, first time in weeks! So that`s a job for me first thing in the morning.

callgirl I am pleased to hear that Mia decided that keeping herself warm was a good idea. If I had let Tara out that minx would not have returned for hours.

We have had a few inches of snow here today and with ice overnight I fully expect to be snowed in again tomorrow unless a minor miracle occurs. It was supposed to be 7C here today and that would have melted the snow but it has barely been above 0C.

N&G those boys are happy and smiling as always.

Maw, what a coincidence your post was about William Morris. I`m ashamed to say that until yesterday I`d never heard of him, but he cropped up in a book I`ve just finished, then you posted that link! Hope you`re feeling more yourself today, love the Hattie pics.
We had snow first thing, then rain, which got rid of the snow, then more snow, then rain again, so all we`ve ended up with is wet underfoot and cold. Mia kept asking to go out, then turning back when I opened the door, but tonight she went out, and was back within 10 minutes.
N&G, love the pics, those 2 little boys always seem to be in their element, whatever they`re doing.
Soop, are you sure it shouldn`t have been coffee, rather than tea?

Certainly in my neck of the woods tomorrow may well be another day when I am snowed in but better safe than sorry because I am so unsteady on my feet.

Tara is miffed that I would not allow her to go out so she has caught up with her precious sleep. I also fell asleep this pm so I hope that I sleep tonight. I have done everything except write cards. I am going to regret this day of idleness.

soop, I'm - is there any left?

Way to go, Soop!

Well that was interesting. First it came, then it all went away, then it came back again. Snow, that is. We have had a domestic day today interspersed with increasingly long periods of sitting about doing absolutely nothing. Well, I have anyway. Himself has been beavering away like a good ‘un. Gq I think your dodgy plumbing has caught up with me! . Probably all yesterday’s weather related stress! As for the tv recordings, yes there are some I am really sorry to lose that I probably won’t get chance to see again, but, on the plus side I will now have an excuse not to sit through yet another showing of ‘Percy Jackson, Lightning Thief’ and it’s follow up! Poor GS, he will be disappointed! What is the attraction for children of watching the same film over and over again, I wonder?

Hic!

Soop is a very norty lady. Why? She has had a mulled wine too many and is in a giggly mood. Anyways, I love you lot to bits. Must away to hang up my party outfit and slump in my easy chair to drink an entire .

Will be much my usual self tomorrow. That's a promise.

Few flakes only here. Not settling!

Agternoon All. Runing to catch up so apologies to anyone I seem to ignore, definitely not intentional. Firstly many hugs to anyone feeling a bit low.

Shame about your trip today maw but think you made the right choice.

Love the fawns soop, I always struggle to see what you mean when you say a painting isnt to your liking. Someone here who can't draw stick people.

Loved the robin photo n&g, your little boys looked happy with Santa even if he hadn't learned to wrap gifts. I'm surprised Jackson didn't offer to teach him. Hope the decorating is finished. We're seriously low key this year, no oomph for more. It looks pretty, though, so may be our new 'normal'.

Hope Bertie and Persie made their visit, kitty, I'm not sure what I think about this snow. Its falling down here now, very pretty but so inconvenient, if it keeps on we won't make a planned Christmas event tomorrow which will be oh so disappointing, never mind, next year with luck.

Gq, may I borrow your plumbing phrase please? Mine is often the same and I struggle for a polite way to explain. Hope you are feeling better.

Sorry about the recordings, grey had the same thing happen here last year, took me weeks to stop grumbling but I'm sure you are made of sterner stuff.

I'm enjoying all the snow pictures, will be able to add to them the way its going here. One son has had to cancel a business trip as he can't get to the airport, our local motorway is blocked because of accidents, its not a good travelling day that's for sure.

Our two loved the snow, lots of snow pictures from their childhood. Littlest hadn't seen snow until today, not sure of his reaction, the girls love it but as you say kitty until they get cold.

I'm off for a cuppa. Stay warm and well everyone

As a child i loved the snow, and we were allowed out at night to go sledging, it was a fair trudge from the house but a decent brae.

For our kids I made sledges, we had lots of surplus wood in the house. Now I have one sledge left, son don't want it, so I am going to leave it on the corner of the street to be 'taken' when the snow arrives here, lothians. I hope it won't be 'old fashioned'.

We used to polish the rails for speed with wax, just like skis, thet shows my age does it not!

Two happy little girls - until they got cold!