Soop's welcoming kitchen...

annsixty if you have to pull the plug on a relationship or friendship which is dragging you down, I think you must just stiffen your sinews and stick to,your guns - to mix my metaphors. By all means do it kindly (not that that is always reciprocated)
I am currently both smarting and saddened by the reaction of three particular “old friends” (to BOTH of us) going back decades who I would have thought I could count on and for whom in one case, I have dropped everything and flown to Scotland and hired a car to drive through the snow when her DH died some years ago.
Polite cards, “a bit busy next week” were two responses to my sad news and the third rang me briefly to express sympathy and then spent the rest of the time talking about herself.
Fortunately they are outnumbered many times over by friends in RL and here in the kitchen.

That is so sad to hear Maw but frankly not surprising.
We are developing into a "me " society.

Oh maw: how upsetting. As you say many good friends to support you.

Good luck ann, there’s a walking on eggshells evening expected here later. Seems to be the week for it.

I’ve been culling the Christmas decorations so off to deliver a huge bag to my favourite charity shop. Seems to be the right season .

Sam can’t snore any louder than Mr C n&g, . not sure what to say about the tears, other than I am sure he wasn’t alone and probably it will pass, maybe one of those times best not to make much of it.

Take care all.

Hello, the kitchen. I am having a bit of a ‘meah’ day today, so nothing is going to be right. I had a chat with DD on the phone this morning and even that didn’t pull me out of the doldrums. We are supposed to be going for a walk, but it is b****y cold out there and I don’t fancy it. THIS WILL NOT DO, I TELL YOU!! I think it is a hangover from a day in town with DH indulging his favourite pastime of conspicuous seasonal consumption. I had a huge feeling of guilt last night about all the people who have little or nothing.
Ann I do not envy you that conversation; I hope it is not too bruising an encounter. I’m not good at those sort of things.
Lovely photo soop. Alpacas are quite the coming thing in terms of livestock, it seems. I can see why your car bill was unwelcome! Let’s hope the repair goes the distance. My step grandson hit a pothole on a road in Oxford and damaged his front suspension. It cost £700 to get it repaired and being an impecunious student, DS had to stump up the money for it. “I’ll pay you back” had a rather hollow ring to it!
N&G Jackson looks such a happy bunny there, but there’s nothing wrong with getting in touch with his emotional side, is there now? I’m sure he’ll grow out of it. GS used to like nativity as long as they didn’t ask him to do anything. He told his teacher one year “I don’t want a speaking part, I just want to stand at the back!” So of course, we didn’t see much of him that year. When he did get a speaking part (because everyone had a speaking part) he did okay. He was a shark (no it wasn’t a nativity play!).
Well, the time has come. Boots on. “I am just going outside. I may be a little while.....”.

Maw, that is so sad, especially when they were people you though you could count on. At least you won't feel the need to fly up to Scotland again! We are here for you, anyway.

Keep warm, GD, you know it will do you good - honestly!

Ann, I'm sure you will feel lighter if you shed the friend who is bringing you down. I think you may have mentioned her before. for courage!!

N&G, DD3 had a friend who had a fabulous voice but would never sing if she could see the audience so stood resolutely facing the opposite way singing like an angel. She's fairly normal now.

A friend's daughter has Alpacas and she says you should never look them in the eye

I hope you are feeling better today corner.

I'm stressed - my new flipping Alexa won't connect to the internet and keeps disconnecting my flipping phone too - I'm going to start a thread as I can't find a number to phone Amazon for help. Failing that it's DSiL.

I had a funny screen shot from DD3 yesterday. Her ex (the Idiot but more often known in these parts as the Axxxhole) has wangled things so that he only has the children for the day, every other Sunday. This is his week but Bertie is also playing football (his passion) and won't miss a game. The Idiot said he would watch the game and pick up the children straight from there. DD said that she would pack clean clothes for Bertie for after the necessary bath.

The Idiot was dumbfounded that he wouldn't have a shower at the field. Bertie is 5. The Idiot does like to live up to both his names.

Maw unfortunately at times like that we find out how selfish people can be. I can particularly relate to the conversations that are taken over by the other person. It’s so disheartening especially at this moment in your life. If I lived in N Bucks I’d meet you for a coffee and a good listen! Keep coming on here. We are all real, not virtual, people, we just haven’t all met yet. The people who really matter are those closest to you, the girls, their other halves, and the little ones. Go on enjoying them, they are more important than the (sadly) three friends who don’t seem to have the time. X

Kitty I can imagine the satisfaction it gives to call him the “A”. He sounds like one, too.

Ann I hope the situation resolves amicably. It’s not worth carrying on with friendships that are one-sided. No need to feel guilty. I’ve given up coffee after a class that I used to have with another class member when I realised it was all about her. Any attempts by me to interject were just talked over. I wasn’t honest enough to tell her why I’d stopped having coffee, but I think she’s just accepted thst the habit has stopped.

I love the photos of Jackson and Sam equally. Both are awake!

I think that the occasion overtakes Jackson which is why he is tearful.

Sam is happy and content that is why she snores.

The last plumber/gas engineer who visited was supposedly going to look up information. It would have been a well paid job for him if he had rung me back- he obviously does not need the money.

It's a bright but chilly hello from Kintyre.

Love the photos of Jackson and Sam. xx

Maw only true friends are there when you most need support. Write the others orf.

ann and yes, go with your gut feeling. If the time has come for the parting of the ways...so be it.

Just a quickie today. I've been slaving over a hot iron and a towering heap of garments all morning. My pal certainly knows how to keep me focused.

After the car repair bill and the fact that the oil tank needs topping up good and proper, we've explained to our nearest and dearest that this Christmas is to be a low gear festivity for us. Thankfully, all three sons agree that the "children" (albeit for Torben) are adult. They are well able to afford their own delights. We should therefore relax and not fret about the sending of gifts. Deep sigh. We have everything we need...we are perfectly happy with our lot in life. It's a relief not to feel the need to stretch our budget unduly.

Maw, I have been thinking of you today. At about 7.30 DH went out to drive his little old ladies about and before he got home I came to Derby to do the school run. In that time, we have messaged each other about 4 times. I am not sure how you are managing without Paw but I'm sending you a huge (((Hug))) because I am finding one day dreadful.

Kitty Bertie’s dad had better get used to mud if he is to ferry him back and forth to footie. On Sunday, DD had to take both GS and his friend home after their match. Both were caked (friend had gone full length on his back in it!) and she had just had her car valeted but she keeps an old sheet in the boot to cover the seats with. Short of putting them in a bin liner with holes cut in for their legs, it’s just a matter of accepting it. Everything my GS does at the moment seems to involve mud in varying amounts!
I’m sad that your friends seem to have such a callous attitude Maw, but they don’t matter. The people who will be there, and those who will have travelled willingly to be there and say goodbye to Paw, are the people who matter. Take heart.
Well, our walk was cold and muddy, but lifted my spirits somewhat. Then I went with DH to pick up his watch from having the strap repaired and had a mooch round Sainsbury’s while I was waiting for him. I found jars of blackberries in gin which I thought would be an interesting addition to the hampers I am making up. Probably be horrid ! I also bought some shower gel for GS’s Christmas stocking. Thought about hair gel (they are all into tinkering with their mullets at this age!) but having asked an assistant for advice, I was offered: super tuff gel, hair wax, hair mud, hair clay, super spike matt...... at which point I retired defeated. Whatever happened to a nice pot of Brylcreme? I’ll put a nice sugar mouse in instead!

The Idiot's car and girlfriend are probably too expensive to cope with mud
I once went to collect DS2 from football, leaving a Sunday roast in. Been I got there I couldn't see him so asked a loitering boy if he knew where he was.

'He's over there but the ambulance is coming!' was the reply. DS was lying there with a gash on his knee down to the bone!! The joys of motherhood!!

Glad you are feeling a bit better. gd.

Night night, Soopers. I'm away to appear to be doing something/anything that can be construed as being remotely useful.

Evening All

All tasks accomplished today and as no eggshells were broken in very delicate walking, earlier than we had thought, there is a relaxed evening ahead.

Flipping chilly here, still problems with the street lights but I have given myself a talking to and as it’s not actually my fault that they don’t work I will not feel pressurised by it.

You reminded me of a phone call from eldest son’s school, kitty. Nothing to worry about I heard - in itself guaranteed to strike terror to the heart - but if you could come now the Head will be waiting for you outside the school and will explain. I discovered another boy had caused a loss of consciousness, never did understand why there wasn’t an ambulance but it seemed that’s what Mum’s car was for. Joys indeed kitty.

You not tempted to try the blackberries in gin greyd? It would be a way to quality check for future gifts. .

Mmmm! I am sort of off gin at the mo, Corner ?‍♀️.

annsixty hope your lunch date didn't upset you too much. You have so much to deal with at the moment you don't need any more worries.

maw so sorry your 'friends' have let you down. I am not very good at finding things to say to comfort people but I do know you don't talk about yourself! Hopefully true friends and family are being more supportive. (Huggs) from me too.

corner, I also had a call from DS2's school to tell me he had hurt his leg and would I come and pick him up. When I arrived, he was sitting on a chair with his foot up on another, outside the HT's study and clearly in a lot of pain. I wondered why they couldn't have taken him straight to hospital and asked me to meet them there. Anyway, he had broken his leg in exactly the same way as his brother had done six weeks earlier! So I had two of them in plaster casts at the same time.

I popped in yesterday but it seems that was another one of those “lost” posts sigh.
soop I’m glad you’ve got a considerate family in the face of those unwelcome and expensive pre Christmas bills you’ve had.
maw it seems to me that there’s nothing like a bereavement to bring out both the best and worst in other folk. I hope that those who rise to the occasion and are supportive will far outnumber those who disappoint.
Friendship can be a strange thing at times and some relationships just seem to run their natural course and need to be allowed to end. But it’s not always easy to extricate yourself without an upsetting conversation, I hope your meet up was easier than you were expecting Ann
I spent yesterday with a not very poorly gd, whose mummy had to leave home very early for a work meeting yesterday. My lovely sil is a real soft touch and found himself agreeing with gd that she was too poorly for school, She did spend the entire day on the sofa wrapped in a fleecy blanket but she was quite perky and there was little sign of the alleged cough! I’m guessing sil will have had a telling off when my dd got home last night, she’s not such a pushover! I smiled at the various descriptions of school nativities. not very poorly gd’s viewing of choice yesterday was a dvd of the school Christmas concert when she was in reception, she’s now yr6. It wasn’t exactly riveting more like watching paint dry viewing first time around and it certainly wasn’t any better 2nd time around. Most of the time there was a strange character, a rather large “Partridge” who’d lost his pear tree I think, standing right in front of gd. The odd glimpse I did see showed her looking puzzled and ill at ease and chewing her fingers.. But she enjoyed revisiting old times and it was amazing to see how she’d changed in those intervening years!!
Well the decorator man is so far proving to be fully housetrained and works away at quite a pace. He also seems a thoroughly nice chap who is trying hard to juggle work and family commitments.
Wishing you all a good nights sleep and, for those who’ve had a yuk day, a brighter one tomorrow. X

Morning all. I’m not staying I’ve caught my grandchildrens tummy bug and feeling drained. I’m supposed to be going to Hampton Court Palace palace today with my niece we’ve been talking about it for years, but if things don’t improve I won’t be able to go. Anyway I’ve really popped in to share some good news. My DiL saw her consultant yesterday and her liver is clear. So some well earned respite for her. She knows that somewhere down the line she’ll need more chemo, but for now we can all enjoy and be thankful that things have settled. I cried when I put the phone down. Odd isn’t it because I’d have cried if the news hadn’t been good. Despite the tummy problem the relief is wonderful. I realise that some of you are coping with much worse events my inability to keep up with these evens and respond makes me feel like a fair weather friend. So I apologise.

Good morning Kitcheners, sorry about crashing in here but just want to say brilliant news for your DiL morethan2, that is wonderful. (Hope the tummy bug leaves in time for HC too).

Hi Alima have a

Fabulous news morethan - I bet you've cried more than once. Look after yourself too.

gq, the things a grandmother has to do! Ours are into Mr Maker at the moment, at least he's easy on the eye!

I think Dh has shingles - yippee!! It shouldn't be too bad as he's had the jab.

morethan that is just the best news. I am so pleased for your DiL, and what a weight off your mind. I hope she continues to make good progress. Sorry you are poorly - there is a lot of this D&S about. I was talking to my BF the other day and she appears to have the same thing at the moment, which is concerning. She is already fighting a very debilitating long term condition and this will not help.
Gq it is always the daddies that are the pushovers (and some grannies ?). DD is as hard as nails when it comes to letting GS have time off school! He deserves an Oscar sometimes for his dramatic efforts to secure a duvet day, but it cuts no ice.
I will look in later.

Good morning all.
Just wanted to say what good news from morethan2.
I hope Christmas will seen brighter because of your news.
My meeting left things unresolved, I will just say it was with my exDiL and the possibility of my wonderful GD coming to live with us.
I do not need it but I cannot have her being very troubled and unhappy, living with exDiL and her partner and her 2 half siblings. There must always be a home for her here.

I am up and around early as my new fridge/ freezer is being delivered this morning and I have to empty the old one asap.
It is so cold I intend just putting the drawers into the garden shed for a few hours.

Goodness, you’re all up early

Totally understand ann. You must be worried and torn, of course you want the best for your granddaughter. I can imagine the delicacy of that meeting, it will have taken its toll on you. Please take care of yourself. Your plan to keep your food frozen sounds just right.

Such good news morethan, the relief will have triggered tears. Fingers crossed for your tummy to recover in time. Don’t fret about catching up here, everyone understands and there’s so much going on we all miss things. Says she hanging her head in shame.

There must surely be a ‘place of lost posts’ gq, so frustrating. Isn’t it strange the things the unwell children choose for entertainment? Don’t grandparents deserve medals for joining in? Hope your son in law didn’t get into too much trouble for allowing the day at home .

There was I thinking you couldn’t get shingles after the jab kitty. I learn something every day. Neither of you need shingles for Christmas. Hope your husband won’t be too poorly.

Right, there’s a day to be tackled so best get in with it. Lovely and bright but flipping cold. Stay warm and well everyone.