The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Tragically not lemongrove!
However, in the spirit of adventure so bravely (yet disastrously) demonstrated by my DH, the late Duke, I feel that I might, indeed should, venture out to your new establishment. It does sound worryingly like the sort of place unaccustomed to the use of doilies though.
Could you possibly send me you hors d'ouvres menu in case I feel like a snack. Cook is so unreliable these days.

Did you not read the post about him being carted off?
We were all shocked? Well not really. I never trusted him

Yes Jane it did, how very observant of you ( we were a health hazard.)
You should really go and check if Carruthers is still there, it’s locked up, but you should be able to get in by squeezing through the window in the bogs.You are still a size 8 I presume?

I am having a dress down day today, but am still glamorous in my fur dressing gown and matching slipper boots ( though I had better watch my step if I go into the garden, everybody has shotguns around here!)

I may not be in the bar today ( to help) as have what is medically known as ‘a rotten cold’ complete with a hacking cough.?However, I am with you ‘in spirit’ ( brandy) as it were.
Nice to see a few new faces, we need more custom ( money!)
If nobody is manning the bar there is an honesty box, also a swear box on the bar top ( no buttons, bent pennies etc if you please.)
Big Jim and Barry will be carrying out all the cellar work, but are always glad of a womans touch down there.?

Anya haha, yes, well, the ‘pop in’ is to encourage new customers to the bar and to show ‘inclusivity’ ( no, don’t know what it means, but seems to be the new buzzword.)?
We do serve coffee here, but no tea, and only use mugs not cups and saucers, but the demand for coffee has gone down since George Clooney escaped.

Does anyone know where Carruthers is? He can't still be cataloguing my wine cellar. I wonder if he somehow tried to go to the old Argy Bargy to continue his critique of it.
Does the closure of the old Argy Bargy coincide with the arrival of the public health inspector and the RSPCA?

Oh definitely Nottooold, you will fit in well, when I'm better I am going to find my leopard skin bikini

Any chance I could wear my tiger skin onesie? It's very realistic but not real, so no danger of the anti-fur brigade accosting me. I have high heels to match. Would that be ok?

Welcome Teetime, but do you know what you are letting yourself in for?
We are a bit rough around the edges, well actually we are always feeling rough. It's the amount of "cocktails" we consume.
Before you can try one of our cocktails, you will need a doctor's certificate stating that you are of a sound constitution (and mind).
There is also the matter of dress code, leopard and zebra prints are de rigeur.

This bar is new to me but please can I have a cocktail and listen to the chat? Make mine a big one please.

There's a song in there somewhere....."oi, where's me tiger's head! Four feet from its tail! Oh my ole man's a dustman........"???

Slept better but still sound like Lee Marvin so poteen will do me the world of good, thanks for asking Mary and I will deflea the rug for you

PLEASE POP IN?

PLEASE POP IN?

What happened to Enter at Your Peril? ?☠️?

If you’re not careful you’ll have all the riff-raff from Soop’s Kitchen ‘popping in’ with offers of tea and home-made biscuits and pictures of their cats ???? and demandimg clean cup and saucers.

, , Menopaws, you all know me so well.
I hope your are feeling better.

Mary I have a leopard skin rug complete with head if you want to wear that, it's a bit motheaten as it's very old but that would draw attention to you which I know you like

Give me some of it now, I need knocking out. Loving the new bar, well done lemon, sorry about spreading the cold, I'll wash up the glasses next time

NotTooOld, you are very welcome. Unfortunately , Lemongrove and Meno have finished it all. Chewy has gone out to the secret lock up to get the Poteen* .We only serve it in thimbles, as it's lethal! Be very, very careful.

You'll blend in just beautifully....I was thinking of borrowing an outfit from the Panto wardrobe department. Very appropriate for this time of year - we've got some lovely dames' frocks and feather boas

May I come in? Thanks for the free drink - can you make that a G&T? Love the leopard skin seats. Aren't leopards endangered though? Perhaps you should have gone for something unendangered - donkey perhaps? Anyway, it all looks lovely. I'll be back.

OOOOOhhh Katek that sounds lovely. It will go well with the zebra print thigh boots I'm planning on wearing. Once I get my flashing reindeer antlers working, I'll be ready to go.
Do you think it is classy enough for a visit to Edinburgh? After all, Soop has set the tone with her long skirt in the Tesco bag and Old Goat's badge is soooooo sparkly.
I get could get my picture taken and make it into a full length one for the new improved Argy Entrance. That should certainly set the tone.

Some nice cow skin print vinyl in Dunelm marydoll - would make a lovely mini skirt.

Oh no! I was saving that leopard skin material to make my evening gown for the posh Edinburgh meet up!
I wonder what I could use instead. I want to impress.

Hope you like the leopard skin seats, a bit warmer on the bum I think you will agree, and classy!

All drinks are free for the next 24 hours, ta-dah!