The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

I tried to summon the constabulary to retrieve my stolen tiara but, when they heard where it was, they became strangely reluctant to attend said establishment. Most odd. I'll just have to come down there myself.

I paid her bail btw ( a tenner) and kept the tiara.

More of a cougar than a vixen, if truth be told! A good loyal pal though, we have been through a few rough times ( as in falling down) situations together.
Chewy you are welcome to all private parties ( don’t sulk)
Except those with just me, Big Jim and Barry of course.
Just bought a great dress in the Sales! Shows my cleavage off a treat ( silver lurex) and I shall team it with my best wellies and Janes Tiara ( won it off Mary playing strip poker here last night.)

And Marydoll flogged your 3rd best tiara Jane to pay off her bail bond money for "causing an affray likely to cause a breach of the peace in a public place i.e. Lime Street Station". It was she who led your dear, sweet, innocent boys astray by taking them on a hen night dressed as lady boys. Personally, I was shocked. ? I offered to take them to a temperance meeting but Marydoll wouldn't let them go! She's a vixen, that one! ?

Jane I have to tell you some home truths. Fabreze and Cillit Bang have come over to the dark side. They have become indoctrinated by those original Argy Café founder members. You will have to accept that they are turncoats and will not return to your welcoming arms.☹️
As for your third best tiara, ?, Fabreze lost it in a bet, Marydoll is now wearing it.??. Sorry¡?

The little tinker!! I was looking for my third best tiara. He'd better look after it. I'll have something to say to them when they finally get back.

I'm so sorry Lemon, I too have 'private parties 'and may have forgotten to invite you ooops

Wow!
Well, that was some private party in the cellar! It was so Christmassy down there with lights everywhere and mistletoe.Just come up for air and a how is everyone?
Jane10 Jules and Sandy were in here earlier today with a couple of jolly jack tars, Jules was wearing a feather boa and Sandy a tiara (yours?) They didn’t stay though, said they had ‘somewhere to be’ ......very mysterious!

Wig on back to front though

Oh! There you are Marydoll! I was just telling Jane how classy you were looking in the bar this evening. ?

It's actually soft Italian leather! I wouldn't dream of wearing Pleatherete.. or even worse PVC. I'm a classy burd!

Ah, you mean that strumpet Marydoll, don't you? Don't you worry about her JaneD3; MD's out on the lash with Big Jim and Little Willie tonight and wearing her red leather thigh high boots and black pleather basque.

Plus, she'll never know I said it if you don't tell her!

How very dare you!!! I am not a hussy I am exploring my inner self.

Chewy that is harsh! There are few we could throw that title to in here. Pink tutus and leopard skin suspenders come to mind!

Hussy!

I always pay my way Meno ( even if my way is to pay it later, much later.)
Christmas Eve tomorrow, so exciting, Big Jim has invited me into the cellar for yet another private party!Ooh,what to wear?
See you all in the bar later? My wig may look a bit tousled.

Oh so Lemongroves has private parties without inviting me?
No more free cocktails for her methinks

Marydoll I've never been teatotal. Too many brews mean I have to keep traipsin' to the lavvy. Such a waste of time, I calls it.
The following is a true account of the first time I motored to a Cornish village to spend time with my new boyfriend - MacSporran. He sent me details on how to reach him and promised to wait at the top of one of two hills that led to the village. I was never good at map reading. Managed to go by the scenic route and couldn't see him waiting in the layby he had marked on the map. Went into the friendly local pub and asked if anyone had seen MacSporran. He had been spotted waiting at the top of the hill that I had not taken. A kind gent offered to go and rescue him. The pub was a jolly place. We all had a few drinks. When at last MacSporran came into the bar (he was smiling) I realised that I was a trifle tipsy. I couldn't get off the high stool on which I was perched. When the time came for us to leave, MacSporran gently lifted me off the stool (I was slim at the time) and as good as carried me to the safety of his home. He looked after me and put me to bed/sleep in his spare room. when I had recovered I thought to myself - yay!!! This is a decent chap. After six weeks he proposed. All that happened nearly thirty years ago. Awww...I'm all misty-eyed.

I do feel close to them. I took them in when they were abandoned on my doorstep by their aunt when they were only 27. The note pinned to Antoine's collar said 'please look after these boys. I can't stand it any longer.'
I gave them jobs as my assistants but they were forever falling out over whose turn it was to fan me. My other staff never took to them. Cook got sick of their faddy diets and something happened at the local pub that my butler just can't bring himself to tell me about.
I'm glad you ladies are now looking after them. The mansion is quieter now but I do still rather miss them blasting out Wham's latest hits. How they loved George Michael. Oh well.

Jane10 seems to be very "close" to them

ratbag!
Oh yes, I remember now! But how did Antoine get his mitts on it, I wonder? Seems to me that those 2 boys are getting led astray into all kinds of nefarious activities these days. Wonder who's leading them astray ?

No Chewy, you are getting so absentminded, it's because you are the oldest member of the Argy, your memory is not what it was.
Don't you remember, that's the one you lent me when we went to that tarts and vicars party at Lemongrove's pad.

Ah, so that why it buried him! It was so big, it kept falling down around his ankles not that that seemed to be bothering him. Was that leopard skin suspender belt and fish net tights yours, as well?

So that's what happened to my pink tutu! I was hoping to wear it at Hogmanay ?
I'll have to resort to my tartan belly dancing costume.?
Soop has been so welcoming, I thought I might go and first foot her in the wilds of Kintyre. I hope she is not teatotal.???

I've just seen Antoine at Lime Street station in Liverpool. He was with a crowd of young women on a Christmas hen night. I recognised him immediately there aren't that many 6'3" men with ginger hair, finger and toe nail extensions and wearing a pink net tutu hanging around Liverpool He looked to be having a whale of a time. he was kissing a sailor