The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Is there any Argy new year bash? I've got a fab outfit I want to show off

Chewbacca That Marydoll has a lot to answer for. The posh do in Edinburgh was all very civilised until Marydoll caught a brief glimpse of a jolly looking Santa. Had she remained seated and not chased him along five floors of corridors shouting Come and get me it's likely that the rest of us lot would have had a cosy chat whilst perched on his knee. Not all together, mind. We would have the decent thing and formed a dis orderly queue. When she finally made her way back to the table, she was rosy cheeked and bushy tailed. You don't get like that having had a polite interlude. No way!

You surprise me not one jot soop! I heard a rumour that Ronald Searle based his characters for St Trinians on our Marydoll. I found this old school photograph of her and you can kind of see what he was thinking, can't you?

Classy!

That's what I love about you all.
You accept me as you find me.

Aye, doll, rough as ye are!

Onwards and upwards.....who would like a drinkypoos?

Oh I'm ready for one. DH says we have to abstain until the weekend, but a sneaky one won't do any harm.
What's on offer?

Fill a vat with gin please lemon. No ice. No tonic. Just GN and its of it. I *need* today.

I have much the same need, I may just fall head first into the vat of gin and stay there awhile.

Granddaughters treated us to a 15 year old Talisker malt. Nearly blew my bloomers off. I wouldn't recommend it to the more gentile members of the Caff. Fact is, it's likely to make the drinker 'break out into a bawdy song'. It would be telling if I told you who used that phrase very recently. Oh, go on then...it was oldgreymare at the Edinburgh bash. You'd never have guessed.

Too late for the warning! I am already breaking out into a bawdy song!
‘Ohhhh, there was a young lady from Devizes, who had boobs of varying sizes, one was small hardly nothing at all, and the other was big and won prizes!’????

Oh no!!! We gave my daughter's fiancée a bottle of Talisker for Christmas.
I fear the engagement may be off , as she is an innocent.
She is not used to hearing bawdy songs in our house. ?

Come off it Marydoll! I've heard that you and soop were teaching the genteel ladies of Glasgow some of those shanties that you both sing, down at the Seamans Mission, when your out on the lash with Big Jim and Little Willie. I heard that Little Willie shrank with embarrassment!

lemongrove I believe I used to sing that merry ditty when I was a pupil at the convent.

Chewbacca Big Jim was the perfect gent. He escorted Marydoll and me when we went on the town after the bash. Little Willie couldn't keep up with us. He made some excuse about the cold weather not being to his liking, and without as much as a by your leave, he did a runner. Some folk can't handle two frisky laydees. It's was down to Big Jim to do the honours. Hope Big Jim doesn't wear himself out before the New Year party in the cellar. Marydoll will have to take the blame. I've other stuff to apologise for.

I'm putting together a stunning punch for new year using all the good stuff I've found in the cellar, what shall we call it so I can put it on the blackboard outside?

The Argy Headbanger?
Knickerdropper Glory?

Very good, keep them coming
Over a Barrel?
Pipe Cleaner?

Ooops! I was wiping the dishes (yes, I often do) and thought to meeself - heck, oldgreymare is as innocent as the driven snow. It was not she who said that she has a tendency to sing bawdy songs. She wasn't at the Edinburgh bash. Apologies, oldgreymare. Please don't report me to the Gransnet disciplinarians. The culprit...drum roll...was - oldgoat.

Glad to see the preparations are in hand for the New Year bash. If Soop is in charge of wiping the dishes we may escape another outbreak of food poisoning. Just the alcohol poisoning to worry about now! Has anyone booked the mobile trunk tank for about 2 o’clock? They may give us a hand up the cellar steps and there are bound to be nice young men on the staff ?

Right the Argy punch is fermenting nicely and shouldn't cause too many upsets tonight, I have a few left overs from Christmas that I can warm through and now I'm going home to put my fishnets on for my grand entrance later, hope everyone else sorted for later

As part of my commitment to maintaining law and order and doing my bit for the community. I will personally be running the drunk tank outside the Argy Bargy tonight. There will be no nonsense whatsoever. An all female staff of ex traffic wardens will assist me.
Those foolish enough to become inebriated will be assisted to sober up by immersion in our cold water tank (hence the name). Family members will be called to spring our 'customers' and to pay a reasonable service charge.
Mind how you go...

Happy New Year fellow Argies.
I seemed to have "missed" the party.
I went out to put the pre party empties in the bin on the way to the Argy party and after that everything is a blank.
I woke up wearing a strange combination of my leopard skin belly dancing outfit, Fabreze's pink fur coat and Chewy's silver platform Slade boots.

I though it would be a good idea to make a cocktail from Lemon and Meno's Christmas gifts, oh soooooooo wrong! Jane did try to warn me, but she is such a bossy boots, I just ignored her. (Sorry Jane)
I have a vague recollection of two "boys" in blue reading me my rights, I'm hoping it's all a bad dream.
Once I find out who , where, I am I'll be in touch.

Marydoll we had to dunk you four times into the cold water tank. You still insisted on doing a strip tease so we wisely took the opportunity to dispose of your clothing and dress you in some other items that came to hand. Unfortunately, you refused to join in the hymn singing and then ran off into the night.

That's me! I always revert to type.
Happy New Year Jane