Interesting....

Three weeks after we got married, DH's parents came to our house for dinner. A long term school friend of mine was leaving as they arrived, neither of them spoke to her as they passed in the drive, but I didn't think anything of it.
When I asked if they wanted anything to drink, FiL said "not in the same glass that 'n****r' used".
That was almost thirty three years ago, he was told immediately to get out of my house, and he's never been here since! MiL wasn't racist, but wouldn't say anything to him, he's an overbearing moron!
DH still has a relationship with him, but it's been very strained since that day.
For the benefit of 'illtellhim', I'll mention that I was born in the 50s.

illtellhim We had a of friends of different races live near us in Merseyside and we had many a happy day playing all together no one noticed the colour difference all our foreign friends families had their own businesses and did well serving the area.
Two of the children from "our gang" went on to be specialist Doctors in their chosen field would you object being treated by one of them ? I think not somehow.

My mother tells the story of her first encounter with a black man in the thirties. At the age of four or so she was walking along the street with her mother when her mum suddenly pushed her into the hedge and covered her body with her own - as a black man walked past. My grandmother held racist views all her life and it was a source of great tension between us at times.

At Sunday School 70 years ago we sang..' Red and yellow, black and white, All are precious in his sight' This was a bit theoretical and, perhaps, a curiosity as we had only seen children of the same skin colour.
What did upset me, though, was that my best friend had doors shut in her face several times when she tried to play with the daughter of the house. Her father's (legitimate|) way of earning a living was gratly disapproved of in that community

When I was five, my father who was a GP in a small town near Glasgow agreed to take a last year medical student from Glasgow University out with him on his rounds and let him sit in the consulting room, both subject naturally to the patient's approval. I think Daddy was paid a small fee for tutoring, during this time. The student was to stay with us for the period involved, and I, only being five at the time now have no idea how long the student was with us.

The relevance of this story is that he was the first African I and most of my father's patients had every seen in real life, and as far as I know no-one either refused to allow the student to sit in on their consultations with their doctor, or made any ill-natured comments that could be construed as racist. This was in 1956

I believe there are far to many who adopt the 'you don't like me or you won't accept me because of the colour of my skin'attitude. Isn't it attitude that separates us.? The colour of skin is not a reason to like or dislike another human being or even care what race or religion they are. It is what lies within a person that counts.

Thinking of the song from South Pacific, You've got to be carefully taught.

DGS was watching football with DS and asked "why is there only one black man". Took DS a little while to work out that he was talking about the referee. We think about this every time we hear about racism

paddyann, do you agree that racism didn't become a problem near Glasgow until somewhere in the l960s? I remember hearing then of people putting their houses up for sale when Jamaican immigrants moved into their streets. Before that it really wasn't a problem.

People were judged by whether they were hard-working decent people or not, unless we are talking about the Protestant- Catholic division where bigotry ran wild on both sides, although there too there were exceptions.

I was a wartime baby. My daughter is mixed race and a lovelier, more caring child I could not have had. She was fostered at 18 months, 40 years ago and rings us every day to check we are well.

My friend had a black step grandfather. It wasn't until she was five that she noticed he was black.

It is interesting that so many posters had a non-racist upbringing. I certainly did not!! I confess that it took me a few years to shake this off - proving the point that it is learned. It was so refreshing for me to see my DGD with her best friend and to know that their upbringing (and hopefully that of my own DDs) is so very different.

We had racism drummed into us as my father had been in Africa and India in the war and had had some unpleasant experiences. His bigotry and prejudices grew with age - he always had something against the Welsh and the French (to the extent that he would not entertain or even listen to an anecdote about anyone called "Jones"), and to this were addedlong hair, Union members, homosexuals - in fact anyone who was "different". A real Alf Garnett. Towards the end, he even developed an intolerance of the Scots, whom he had had admiration for all of his life.

My sister and I used to laugh about it and said we really ought to get boyfriends with long hair, Union membership and Welsh accents - preferably black, to boot! (Unfortunately there weren't many in East Anglia, where we were)

Somehow we never really adopted his views.

The stories in this thread are heartening.

Unfortunately, however, some people still feel discriminated against, where it is quite unjustified. I admire those who, despite this, take the stance "attack is the best form of defence" and joke about it or confront the person who is obviously looking down on them for whatever reason (disability, colour, size).

I wonder whether the change toward being more racist dates from increasing Americanisation? In the Uk we didn't have plantations of the Southern US, with their large populations of imported slaves, owned by a white man, worked mercilessly and treated as subhuman, punished with the lash and the women fair game for the men of the owner's family. Yes, there were black servants here, even ones bought abroad as slaves, but many were footmen in stately homes, in the same position as white servants and a curiosity rather than an underclass. There were divisions in society, but those divisions were more by class than colour - agricultural workers and domestic servants in general had little say in their lives. And during WW2, there were coloured US military personel here, again a curiosity and a minority.

It was television that brought Americanisms and American attitudes to the UK.

How heart-warming!

My daughter did exactly the same when she started school in mid 70's. Racism is a learnt behaviour imo fed by a minority and kept alive by the media .

Many of us may have relatives in the Caribbean who are black. DH's ancestor went there and spread his seed rather a lot. When DS was checking in at the airport in New York the black woman at the desk looked at him in surprise and said "You ain't no surname" which might have been construed as racist if it was the other way round. He had a good laugh about it.

A similar thing happened to me in St Lucia, I was being served by a woman who had difficulty accepting that a white person could have my surname.

Apparently in St Vincent someone with my first and surname must be a local based on a history of so many Scots moving there.

Forty years ago my two year old daughter’s best friend was a neighbours little boy - who was black. They played endlessly and one day we found her with a face cloth trying to wash the black off his face. His parents found it as amusing as we did thank goodness. We lost contact after we moved house but she remembers him fondly although was horrified when I reminded her of the washing incident.

Sandelf, like you I grew up in Liverpool, in the 1940,s it was definately multi cultural I worked in a Hospital with all nationalities, and nobody bothered, we didnt ever think about colour of skin.

About fifteen years ago I had a ten year old pupil who, when referring to a fellow pupil, used the phrase, ' the one with the dark skin'. However, she immediately realised that she wasn't being politically correct, and added, ' she's getting lighter though '! That was the only time that I ever heard any comment relating to the girl's S African ethnicity.

As a retired secondary teacher, my opinion (for what it's worth!!!) is that even older children repeat the attitudes they hear at home.
What I think has changed over the years is that people will now challenge these unacceptable opinions, whereas previously folk would keep quiet. The only thing necessary for evil to flourish, is for good men to do nothing.
If some of these posters have suffered racism, then they will have a different perspective from others.

My lovely GD who I raised since the age of 4 is mixed race ...when she fell over she bled the same,when she cried she had the tears the same she has fears hopes dreams and emotions the same...we are all the same ...human !!

This is slightly different, not about race, but about being different.

We are a group of lady friends of long standing and who make a point of meeting up at least yearly. Some of us are widows etc.
One of our friends D had met and was in a relationship with a new man friend. He was going to pick D up on an evening us girls were out for dinner.
My close friend had already met D's new partner. As the venue was busy my close friend said to keep an eye out for him arriving and that he had short receding hair . When he arrived and D introduced him to us I noticed that he had a hare-lip. Nice to note that it didn't even come to my friend's mind when seeking to describe D's partner.

I grew up in the East End of London in the fifties, and although there were relatively few immigrants the ones that did live in the area were simply part of the population. The Chinese were firmly established in certain areas and were generally admired for their industry and intelligence. One of my uncles spoke Mandarin due to his playing Mah Jong for many years with his Chinese friends. The area now, sixty years later, is almost completely non white; and I feel that this is where resentment has built up as families have felt marginalised and shut out when they become the strangers among people living a lifestyle that is not their own .

My DGD is mixed heritage and is frustrated that her schoolfriends don't believe her about her ethnicity. I think it's wonderful that they don't see her colour but she is peeved they don't

I grew up in North West London in the fifties and didn't see any Black people till I was about 10! I had to go to a hospital for tests and was not allowed breakfast that morning so by the time the tests were finished, I was somewhat hungry. She brought me in some breakfast and said that she'd prepared it as she thought I'd like it. A gesture that was very much appreciated.

I think the first time you meet someone of a particular race, creed or whatever, affects the way you see that group in the future. I certainly don't have a problem.