Noah had fewer problems than me.

For those in peril without a chufty!

VQ, I assure you I'm not enjoying your ordeal ... what a nightmare! ... but I can't help being entertained by the way you write about it. You could do this sort of thing for magazines or newspapers, it's much better than lots of what's in print by people who are paid to write!

Funnily enough I came across this while waiting for (wait for it, literally) plumbers! Walked into a loo with a mysteriously wet floor today. Decided to pass time by having a look at GN. Perhaps the shade of Grace Darling is hovering about and bringing forth the waters.

Sorry about your trials but you did make them into splendid entertainment - thank you for a bit of fun while sitting round on soggy-bog-patrol !

That came out wrong my son was in his late teens. He wore his hair like Brian May and was a big fan of Queen . He had the same sort of long curly hair, also did Astrophysics and heavy metal guitar playing. He made a right mess of the bathroom plug.

Many years ago now my late teenage son decided to try and unblock the bath drain which had gathered a lot of his long hair.
This was an afternoon when I decided to "rest my eyes" for a while. He tried using the Vax machine but unscrewed the drain fitting and my doze was interrupted by bath water drops falling on my head. There is still a stain on the ceiling .

I had a narrow washing machine escape about 3 machines ago. I put the washing machine on before setting off to a friend's house for coffee. Fortunately I decided to go out by the back door not the front door - because as I walked through the kitchen I noticed water under the machine. It turned out the valve controlling the water input had jammed open so the machine would have kept filling and filling and filling . . . . I would have been out of the house for about three hours, if I'd gone out be the front door I'd have never seen the flood and the ground floor would have been well and truly flooded. Unlike Vampirequeen I didn't try to fix it myself.

Brilliant narrative, vq. I needed a good laugh but could also sympathise, recollecting the time when my 14-year-old DS managed to flood the kitchen with several gallons of home-brew, because he had not fixed the leaf of the kitchen table securely and it collapsed. Carpet tiles (not my choice - previous resident's) all chucked into the garden, cats wading through beer, house stinking like a brewery and self so stunned that I couldn't even shout at the culprit who was doing his not very good best to mop up the mess.

Oh VQ I feel your pain!

Brilliant story VQ. I'm sorry you had so much stress and effort, but think of how many people have had their day brightened by your post!
Thank you... and, by the way, have you checked the fuse?

Thank you for brightening my day! I succeeded in getting DH out of the house for the first time, except for hospital appointments since he broke his collar bone in May.

He had a dental appointment and wanted a hair cut, so off we went to Flensburg to see to the above. Then we trotted happily down to the harbour to check on our motor boat.

And that is when things began to go pear-shaped! We knew we were out of diesel and that for the engine to start when we re-fuelled the valves would have to be checked and re-set, if that's t he right term in English. A kind neighbour offered to come with some diesel and help, as DH's collar bone is still not permitting him to do anything heavy.

Well, we went on board and discovered that our batteries were completely flat, for no known or identifiable reason, as we have current from a shore line. Problem still not solved.

The good news is that there seems still to be diesel in the tank and the filter, so valves should be o.k. Oh I forget to mention: damp in through door, so I could not open the hatch to engine room.

Thank heavens for kind neighbour, who will see if he can solve the problem for us, and brought us 20 litres of fuel.

Not so disastrous a day as the new inland sea in kitchen, nor as amusing, but your washing machine disaster did put our flat batteries into perspective, thank you so much.

Reminds me a bit of the time (amazingly over 20 years ago!) when my husband was trying to lift the floor in the bathroom for some work to be done. It was big MDF sheets, so he had to saw a piece out. Unfortunately he managed to puncture a pipe. We managed to temporarily patch it, and a plumber was coming the next day. However during the early hours the repair popped and a spray of water sprung forth. Our son (aged about 2) had a lovely time running backwards and forwards through it, and was drenched by the time we woke up from the giggling and running noises!

Thanks for all your replies. I hoped it would amuse you. DH finally got the pump out this morning. It was full of stuff that looked like cement. DH is trying to convince me that it's because we have hard water. I think he's secretly been using it as a concrete mixer .

We've bought some hard water concrete remover and it's happily working it's way through the washer as I type.

I could have called the landlord. He's a lovely man and wouldn't have minded. He would have come complete with his impossibly small toolkit, then borrowed DH's tools and spent hours doing something that we managed to do ourselves far more quickly.

VQ you have my sympathies as I had the same experience as you on Saturday with my Samsung ecco bubble.
Unlike you I stupidly sat on the floor with my container to collect what I thought would have been a small amount of water, needless to say I was soaked to the skin, and had to have a complete change of clothes, as the water coming out of my saturated ones was like the Niagara Falls.

Thank you for a Monday giggle, you are braver than me although I can't move my washer/dryer as it's a tight fit under worktop. I'm afraid I would be phoning Company which insures my washer/dryer.

You are very brave, years ago I would have done the same thing instead of waiting for DH to come home (he was as much use as a chocolate fireguard, not at all practical)

I always find You Tube very useful in situations like this. A light that I'd never seen came on my dishwasher and it stopped working and, having unsuccessfully tried suggestions from the handbook, my daughter googled the problem. The solution suggested by one nice young man on You Tube involved unplugging it, rocking it side to side (again with a flood) and chanting, ' I wish the local kebab shop sold donuts!' but the solution worked anyway and I've never had a problem since.

I sympathize but it did make me laugh! You mention not being the first tenant...surely your landlord should fix it??

Hilarious.

Thank you so much for such a good laugh. It really cheered me up-sorry you had to endure it but I'm sure you have made many people laugh this morning.

Oh how I can empathise with your experience, but hopefully it will cure the problem.

What a lovely story. Beautifully told. Shows there is humour in the worst situations.
My washing machine flooded when I hadn't noticed the water hadn't emptied and casually opened the door ... as you do. The water tumbled out like a tidal wave, gallons and gallons of it. We had just sold the property and it took six weeks of dryers going in two rooms and the hallway to allow repairs to start. But we got there in the end, What a nightmare. Glad we were insured, it did so much damage . I am afraid I saw no humour in it at all.

Never mind the washing machine. Last week I was babysitting 2 year old granddaughter and left her in the bath for ONE minute while I went to check something in the kitchen. She had two small cups in the bath and was bathing figures of Peppa Pig, George etc. When I got back the bathroom was ankle deep. I told her grandma doesn't like this and she cried for mummy. I used lots of towels to dry the floor and left them in the dirty clothes basket as the washer was full of just-washed things. Later I got 2 emails from daughter telling me off for putting the wet towels in the basket! I should have wrung them out and hung them on the rail. They were dripping! And I have arthritic hands. I said granddaughter is naughty as she's tried to put water on the floor before and I said no and daughter said oh no, she's not naughty, just 2 years old!

This happened to me when I had the same issue. I ended up using 2 pairs of pliers to get the end off, one to hold the hose and once to unscrew the cap!

Oh dear, your description was soooo funny, I'm still smiling. I hope your disaster is now behind you and your problem is fixed. Thank you for brightening up my Monday morning.

Our washing machine leaked from the waste pipe once, and I spent ages mopping up the water with a squeegee mop and squeezing into the adjoining sink. I seemed to be making no progress at all...the water on the floor didn't get any less.
We finally realised that the waste pipe from the sink was frozen where it went out through the wall, so all the water I was squeezing into the sink, was just going back onto the floor!

Love it, VQ!

VQ how brave to to tackle washing machine, I think I would kick it, and then phone someone. So clever. Hope it is sorted out soon.

At least you are on the ground floor.
My poor neighbours downstairs have been flooded twice in the past 5 years, once when my water tank burst while I was away for the weekend and once when my washing machine didn't drain properly and my attempt to catch the water failed. Luckily they are very nice (and forgiving) people.