early morning child care

My daughters all went back to full time work when each baby reached one. Their lives are non-stop, rushing the children to childcare, nursery then school. They hardly see the children in the week. One daughter is efficient and keeps up with the washing, cooking and chores by spending the whole weekend on it.
Another is completely overwhelmed by a new job with long hours and a boisterous puppy and never catches up with the washing. Their house is a tip..
These young mums work far far harder than I did as a SAHP with four children.

I didn't work when my 4 children were young (between 1973 and 1986). As my husband worked away during the week and we lived in a tiny hamlet with no public transport, and I didn't have a car, there was little opportunity for me to do so and it did mean that it was very difficult to afford luxuries etc. We lived miles from both sets of grandparents so life was a struggle at times, but I wouldn't have changed our way of life even had I been able to do so. I had a fabulous time bringing up my four and enjoyed every moment of the time I spent with them. My eldest was 13 when I went to work which was just as the youngest started school at 5 and I have only ever worked part time since so I could be there to pick up and drop off at school each day. I now have six grandchildren and still do my share of picking up and dropping off, and I really look forward to having those special times with the grandchildren.

I went back to work in the 70 s when mine was only a few months old. We had to get up early to go to either Nans or the childminder,no central heating,just a 2 bar electric fire,it was cold.
I did it because I wanted a house with a garden for mine to play in and not just a back street.Not all husbands earned good money, mine didn't,it barely covered the mortgage and bills.

in the 70's where I come from most mothers were back at work within weeks .In fact I worked until I lleft the office with my hospital bag for the labour ward and was back at my desk 8 days later...I took my baby to work with me and she was there until she started nursery .I was lucky I coulld do that because I was self employed

I stayed at home with my children, in the 70's you did. I used to love being home with them. When they started school I was offered a job as a lunch supervisor which was ideal and then went onto be a TA was great because we had holidays together. It was a struggle when they were really young, my husband was the only one bringing in a wage, I sometimes wonder now how we managed only got child benefit then nothing else.
I do feel sad to see young children going into school breakfast club and onto childminders after school. When to they get to have quality time with their parents.?

We just about managed for me to stay at home when my daughter was small, not an option for her and her partner now they are parents. I'm up before 6am in the morning to get to their house to look after my DGS , back home to mine about 6 pm. I love it, but I feel almost guilty, I'm having the lovely days in the park, at playgroup, and toddler games that she misses being able to do. I really think parents today get a raw deal.

I too stayed at home with my children until they were school aged and then worked part time. I had no car or luxuries and loved every minute of it! Luckily, I had a husband whose wages covered the bills. I think parents are under too much pressure these days to both go out to work because wages are low and the cost of living is high. I feel so sorry for the children as they do a longer day than their parents. Why does the Government fund only one particular type of parenting? i.e funded childcare. The same money could be given to families so they didn't both have to work full-time. Mothers At Home Matter put it much better than I do mothersathomematter.co.uk/

Childcare is full of cultural expectation.

Well said Gillybob.

I was a lone parent when my husband left me with two children under two. My parents were long dead, my brother was in the USA and sister lived 400 miles away.

For some mad reason ( probably shame) I decided to go back to work. This meant dragging two tiny children out of their warm beds and taking them to a child minder then catching two buses to work.

At the only Gingerbread meeting I attended I asked the girl next to me what she did. She looked at me in astonishment and said "Do, what do you mean DO. I'm raising two children alone that's enough for me"

She was right. Wish I had never gone back until they were older. It was downright cruel.

This thread is very interesting to me as it shows how much depends on our own or cultural expectations.

Although it is decades ago now - my children went to nursery in Sweden and in Sweden there is no such thing as too cold or too dark. The Swedes expected that their children would be outside for at least 5 hours a day whatever the weather (and we had to provide snowsuits, stout boots and waterproof dungarees). In winter they went out in all weathers - I can think of only a handful of days where they didn't go out at all - usually because it was colder than minus 30C. The under 2s might stay in or just do a short trip out for a forest walk when it was colder than minus 22C. The 1 and 2 year olds used to sleep outside in prams these cold temperatures wrapped up with big blankets whereas the older children skated on the frozen lake and built fires with the staff to grill sausages. In winter we would pick them up playing out in the dark

It was decades ago but my DD still has fond memories of the early mornings as it meant "nursery breakfast" and especially a variety of porridge types - oat, rice, rye, wheat. Also eating "mesost" a (to my mind disgusting) cheese made from caramelized goat milk (it's like Sweden's version marmite - you either love it or hate it).

By contrast a Swedish friend living in Italy was totally shocked that Italian nurseries keep children inside in the autumn and winter - not allowed out until the temp reached plus 15C.

I think the difficulties are different today to what they were. The world is a much different place.

I help as much as possible.

Today is very difficult for young families, much worse than my years to raise a family.

You'll all be pleased to know I was on benefits..

I didn't work when my children were small - we did without holidays and treats and had no car till eldest was 4. I walked everywhere with pram, toddler seat and shopping in all weathers. I was lucky - I had a husband in work and we could eat and pay the mortgage and manage without my wage. I loved every penny pinching minute of it and feel very sad for those who had no choice then and for my DG and DiL who have to return to work to help pay the bills.

Travelsafar
Being a mum these days is hard ?Spare me
My DH in the late 60's had to be at work by 7am.He used his bike We had no car Couldn't afford one
My two year old I would put in the child seat on my bike and my eldest who was five would walk alongside me as we walked the mile to school. Come rain or snow
Would this hard done by lady even contemplated being in my shoes.?













We were not on a bus route either
The woman you refer to has a car and you call her life hard?
Doubt she would have wanted or even contemplated
walking in my shoes.mto walk in my shoes.
?

It is not the being a young mum that is difficult per se but the need for so many families to have two earners that drives the child care/school need.

My son, who lives in the USA, leaves the house around 7am to take the children to school. The school hours are 7.30 to 2.30. I don't see how they have the time to wake up and eat a proper breakfast at that time. No breakfast at school there.

I worked full time in 1970s ..... thank god for my mum and dad who took of my baby boy for me. Today's children won't know any different, it is us that see the difference.

I would have never wanted to work full time either Imperfect27 . But the benefits for single parents weren't quite so generous as they are now and with no father on the scene (he literally left me holding the baby) I had no choice.

As I said earlier I wouldn't do it these days. I would go onto benefits and work part time. It seems so cruel looking back.

not a new thing ,my neighbour 40 years ago worked as a postwoman ,her baby who was about 8 months at the time was wrapped up and handed into me on her way out just before 6am ,his dad came off nightshift about 8.30 and would pick him up on the way home .Her family were too far away to help and I was happy to help out .And no I didn't get paid for it .

I do think nursery has been really good for my GS and he is very at home and sociable in large gatherings. He is a confident little boy and is positive about going. I think it is his mum in particular that has missed out on time with him.

I went back to work when my first was 9 months old, worked 20 hours a week until number 2 came along and felt that I had the best of both worlds really... But I would never have wanted to work full-time.

I find it odd that people talk about 'overbearing' parenting if parents do stay at home and the child only spends a little time at nursery. This was the norm in my peer group - I did little jobs on and off. children started nursery aged 2 1/2 and definitely potty trained and went for 2 mornings only per week and then 3 when they were 3, leading up to 4 or 5 before school started. They had the afternoons at home and I played with them and enjoyed them. It all seems so fast and furious for most families now.

This thread is a real eye-opener. The flipside could be a stay-at-home mum and an over-protected child.

I know what you mean though, travelsafar my neighbour is a young mum who went back to work very quickly, and I used to feel for her and her little boy too, leaving early on a cold dark morning. Often she would come home late with him asleep over her shoulder (by now a heavy toddler) and struggle with bags etc. He is now a bright, friendly, bouncy 4 year old and jumps out of the car and runs to his front door.

But it isn't new. I remember working when my children were little, picking them up from the creche (as it was called then) and on one particular evening in the cold and dark they were both crying for some reason, I had one in the pushchair and another by the hand and after a long day - I started crying too. So there we were the three of us in tears walking along the street.

My son and his wife also both work to afford a modest ex local authority house . They live a modest lifestyle. Wife works 3 days and as they both have to leave early I stay over for 2 days and the children go to a nursery on the other day. If I didn’t help out they wouldn’t manage as child care is so expensive. Life is not easy for families now unless they are very high earners

This isn't something new. I'm 61 and remember my mum getting me and my brother (15months younger) up dressed and out to walk to nursery by 7.15 so she could catch 2 buses to work. We stayed at nursery until mum or dad collected us at tea time, the nursery was full of children who were up and in nursery for the same reason.

I leave the house at 6.30 every morning to collect 18 month old GS and bring him back here for the day. I then drive an hour round trip to take him back at 5pm. Dd meets me in a car park for hand over at 7am on her way to work. It's exhausting for all concerned but he spends his days with his Nanny (me) who loves him almost as much as his own mummy.