Laugh or cry?

Oh dear its very distressing when these administrators make such terrible insensitive errors. I hope you are not too upset by it and just call them some horrible names and if you have the strength a strongly worded letter.

Bloody insensitive.
<wry smile>

Not in the same league, but my brother died suddenly early this year. After I'd informed the necessary people some were still addressing correspondence to him - very insensitive (and very bad admin).
Very sad time for you without that to contend with.

Oh dear - whatever did you say to her?

Some people just don't stop and think what they are doing, ?

I don't think it was a case of her being insensitive, I think she thought that was the correct thing to say. I explained about Grant of Representation and all the reasons why we didn't need to wait for it. Finished off by saying that if it wasn't marketed asap rent arrears would accrue and that was unfair.

After a few emails she did the sensible thing and phoned me. Conversation started with her assuming I was stupid but gradually changed as she listed things to be done and I said "done that" to each and showed her I was well ahead of her. I genuinely think she was saying what she thought she should but that she should have been better trained in her job.

I have had far more insensitive things said in the last couple of months, with the worst being Thames Water. They have been sent a very strong letter!

Nonnie I am so sorry you have encountered yet another distressing experience of administrative 'tape'.

When people talk about 'the grieving process' , I often reflect that this is part of the nitty gritty of it. I think two / three months in from losing my DD I was so raw - bad enough just to have to deal with missing our loved ones, but there is often so and so much to process because of needing to deal with practical things relating to loss. There is so much to navigate and what seems run of the mill and everyday to others can cause so much pain.

I think it is good if you have the strength and energy to highlight when things fall short - often we don't have it in us at the time. I did contact my coroner's because my DD's temporary death certificate arrived in a plain envelope that could have been a any kind of post. I felt a crest on the envelope or some other identifying factor and some forwarning that it was on its way would have saved me from opening something seemingly innocuous only to be faced with such a body-shock when I realised what I was holding in my hands.

I have been thinking that all organisations that are customer facing should have a bereavement policy that covers staff training about how to respond - especially as people are so often in shock / experiencing heightened stress when they have to address practical matters for their loved ones.

Nonnie sudden loss does leave us in shock for some time, I hope you can be gentle with yourself when you have these hard times.

Thanks Imperfect This one hasn't upset me, I am finding it amusing!

Even the really awful ones have their use because they make me angry and that can be therapeutic at times.

Sending a stroppy letter to Thames Water did me a power of good but I don't expect a sensible reply or even a reply at all. I have a complaint number from TV licensing but doubt I will ever hear anything.

No, the hard thing to deal with is the one who is being really nasty and seems to think she has a right to everything our son left behind. He left some debts too but I don't think she wants those. Depending on the valuation of his flat I think there may be just enough to pay of his mortgage, outstanding rent and other debts. However, she is under the false impression that there is a pot of gold, there isn't and even if there was he left a will precisely because he didn't want her to get a penny! Funny how she didn't want to be next of kin when there was a funeral to be paid for and hasn't offered to do any of the probate work!

Nonnie & Smithy so sorry for your loss

After my father died my sister and I went to our local Barclay's Bank.
we had all the relevant paper work to sort out our Dad's affairs and close the account.
The lady at the counter said that she was unable to help and that we would have to go to the larger branch in the the next town.
However as an appointment was required she would make it on our behalf and that it would be with their bereavement team..

When we arrived for our appointment we are were shown to a desk in the open plan area that was next to the counters and told that we would be seen shortly (we were on time).
When someone eventually arrived he said that he was sorry for our loss and then requested the relevant paperwork and gave us numerous forms to fill in and sign.

At the end of the meeting I mentioned that we had been expected a meeting with one of the bereavement team.
He informed us that we were now going to speak to a person from the team.
He picked up the desk phone spoke to someone and then passed the phone to me .
A lady at the other end asked if everything had been dealt with satisfactorily.
And if we required any further help to please get in touch!