Things my parents said ...

That of course was in response to someone saying that they weren't sure who he was talking about!

My grandfather had a couple of odd phrases that I have never hear from anyone else, one of which was:

"You knows her! You knows her as well as I do! Little widder woman, walks about a lot on her feet!"

What's up with jollyg? Surely this is a thread enjoying and reminiscing about the things our parents said, not criticising them?

You're mum was more ladylike than mine lizzypopbottle! She had a similar saying for women who she considered were "slathered in make-up", but it wasn't as polite as your mums!

Oh yes.....only yesterday...I said to my husband "there are people starving" and you're wasting food again! My mother always used to say it...I sound just like her!

My mum wasn't keen on make-up so if she saw a woman with a lot of eye-liner and mascara she'd roll her eyes and mutter, ' like two burnt holes in a blanket!' If she saw a woman (with a big bum) wearing what she considered too tight pants she'd (again) roll her eyes and mutter, 'like two boys fighting in a sack!'

The least helpful thing my dad said to me was when I moaned about something my fairly new husband either did or didn't do. 'You must start as you mean to go on!' Too late! How do you know how you mean to go on until you've already started and discover the irritating things about your mate? Back then, we didn't live together before marrying unless we were happy to be totally ostracised!

On scratching an itchy back, usually on a door -"God bless the Duke of Argyll!"

Perhaps jollyg (or rather notatalljollyg) would prefer us all to go around wearing sackcloth and ashes and weeping!
I used to hear a lot of the things mentioned above, but the one that I really loathed was my dad's reply to a wail of "It's not fair"........"What's not fair, a black pudding perhaps"?
When going for a night out with my best friend Sue, mum would ask if we were going out 'Wolfing' and dad would say "Are you going out after dark, or after men"?
If my mother was ever heard to say "Bullshit and feathers" everyone ran and hid from her as that was a sure sign her patience had just snapped!

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
And from my grandma when she thought my belt was too tight, "You`re tied up like a rice bun." What`s a rice bun?

From my Dad 'if you burn your ass, you sit on the blisters'

From my Mum when asked what was for dinner
'A run round the table and a kick at the cat' (we didn't have a cat!)

Also a reminder that we do not wash our dirty laundry in public.

Poor mum, imagine spending you life wondering "what will the neighbours think/say".

Sorry. The word piles got erased.

" Do as you would be done by"

At school we were told sitting on a warm radiator gives you !

What was that about jollyg we can have some fun as well as empathise with others

Half a brain & you'd be dangerous, put wood in th'ole (shut the door), you make a better door than a window (if I stood in the way), were you born in a barn (if I didn't close the door behind me), your head'll never save your legs.

When asking what's for dinner, two kicks at pantry door.

All fur coat & no knickers (some-one who was all show, a snob)

Mop & bucket (tall man & dumpy woman)

There were so many, still hear myself saying some of them. My favourite when I got told off for doing something I thought she couldn't see "I've got eyes in the back of my head", that puzzled my DD when she was little, she looked under my hair to try to find my "back eyes"

I have the kind of problems with health and families that nobody would want. This thread doesn't make one iota of difference! If you can't smile life is pretty grim!

You are pretty silly to have such a thread, regarding your MUM.

Mischief making in extremis.

Some folk here have enough problems with heath, families.

I dont pop in very much but if that is the sort of posts we get, Ill pop in even less.

I am quite aware that GN is a' free for all' site, but please give those who are less fortunate than yourself a break.

I have not read all posts, but the first few put me off bit time

'You will be smiling the other side of your face in a minute'!!!

I was always climbing our old apple tree. "If you fall out and break your leg don't come running to me."

'Pride comes before a fall',
'A blind man would be glad to see it'
'Don't care was made to care'
and so many more.

What did your last servant die of?

Whenever Liberace appeared on tv my dad would say "chase me boys, I'm full of babies." I'm still baffled

Dad used to describe impending rain by saying "it's a bit black over Bill's mother's ".
I always thought he knew someone called Bill whose mother lived in the next village. I was about 30 before I caught on .

"If you're going to have one, have a big one." Said by my mum on any number of occasions! Still used now by me and daughter

If I said I was bored my mum said "I wish I had time to be bored".
If I was hungry but refused an apple she'd say "Well your not hungry then"
She'd also say "Wait till your father gets home" if I was playing up. She never did tell him however!