Loss of confidence

lemongrove
I think someone's missing a trick here with a business opportunity.
Wait 'till this gets on Facebook, there'll be every guru and his wife wanting to sign up the 'grey pound'

I really struggled with turning 60. It seemed to signal the beginning of 'things' coming to an end - which is not the case at all - but very much how I felt at the time.
I am now fast approaching my 63rd birthday without worry.
I am still working part time and I love my job!
I have completely lost confidence with driving though.

NanaandGrampy. To piggyback your mantra, whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right.

Be kinder to yourself jools forget being self deprecating all the time and hold your head high.Yes, we are all older but no reason to think we have to fade into the background.

?Petra so funny, perhaps you could bottle it and sell some on ebay?

I like the sound of the Mother who pretended she was the Queen.?

I'm afraid I have no words of wisdom to offer as this is an alien concept to me.
I'm still as full of my own self importance as I ever was.
But I sincerely wish that I could share some of it with people who feel like this.
Nanandgrampy made a very good point Re the people you meet.

Hello jools. I think that its your up coming big birthday which is maybe causing you to ponder on things. These new decade birthdays are always harder than the others, and often a time to reconsider.
I dont think you either become more confident or not care what people think as you grow older, you are still you, just with a bit more experience perhaps, so please dont worry. Enjoy your birthday when it comes round. Soend it with people you care for and who care for you if you can. Be happy and treat yourself to something special.

I guess the place to start would be to consider why you care what other people think?

In a lot of situations you would interact once with that person in your life. They don't know you, your history or your background.

My Mum was not the most confident person but was the best negotiator I ever knew. She once confided that she pretended she was the Queen when she was doing something like that - above the law, regal and in-crossable ( think orf with their heads!)

be kind to yourself - people change over time .

I live by the mantra- if you think you can - you can !

OP, I do empathise! There's a lot to process with this 'getting older' lark ...

For me the big issues have been / are:

Fading looks - don't think I am vain, but can't hide from the wrinkles and greys and 'spots' appearing on my hands - yuk!!! I do feel society places a lot of importance on looks and that other people start to bracket you.

grandparenthood - we all know it can rejuvenate us and that we have a great deal to give, but I have found that with some younger people, as soon as they hear the term, they can begin to relegate us at times and think we belong to another era.

work Currently between jobs and looking for a change, but not confident it will be easy to have someone take me on - even though I have another good 10-12 years left in me, have a pretty good CV and know I would be a fabulous find!

I am a pretty confident person usually, but all these areas can trip me up and get me thinking negatively in ways I know I have to address and combat for myself. I think this is key - not letting yourself get into a downward spiral. Easier said than done, but someone wise said to me make a list of ten good things about yourself and when you are low return to it and re-read it. It is a good corrective over time.

I'm struggling with the same issue.
A lot of things have happened, and still are - and it has been very hard at times, just getting through the day. I feel like a bit of a wimp, which isn't sitting at all comfortably with me.

j00ls312, I understand where you are coming from. After having to give up a very responsible job, due to ill health, I find that I too have lost my confidence. I used to have such a zest for life and people relied on me to be decisive. I don't know what has happened to me.

Not sure what to suggest but what are you good at? Being friendly? Being sensible? Are you enjoying your work? Do you see friends and family a lot? Not sure why I'm asking these questions but 60 is a long time ago for me when family started their own families so my role changed and I had a new life to find. I hope this has bumped your thread a little so better people than I can help.