Mobile phone manners

I remember back in the 1970's, a work colleague, started complaining about the children's TV program's on a Saturday morning, because He wanted to go play in the park, and his children wanted to watch the TV "because their friends did" we move in circles, the technology changes and if we don't understand then it must be bad.

vickymeldrew, I'm so quilty of doing what you just descried and to be quite honest my 'phone is usually more interesting than the man I'm with.

No suggestions really but I think this is down to manners, not age, or anything else...My sons and partners, in their thirties, have never answered their phones if we've all been together, unless they've known it to be absolutely urgent, and I don't think they ever would in the company of friends. Mostly when socialising they put it on silent or just vibration so it rarely even rings. But I am a complementary therapist and I do have lots of clients answering phones during our consultations! Very rude in my book.

Husbands phone rang and he immediately talked to his Cousin who had rung him, still sitting with us,

I suppose you could still talk to the wife, between googles? If not, why not prioritise reading a book or newspaper over resuming conversation with him/them?

Grandelly54, whilst home entertaining, I would just let my landline phone ring out and completely ignore it. If it's important the caller will try on another occasion. My mobile would already be on silent and probably in a drawer so guests have undivided attention. Haven't ever thought of it as good manners or necessary to answer a phone. Interesting...........

"My phone is turned off"

"How about yours?"

Pet hate too, but it actually goes further than that. When we have friends or family over for supper/lunch/coffee/tea etc and the landline or a mobile goes off, I will answer, but tell the person on the other end that we have company and I will ring them back later, surely this is the polite thing to do?

That's interesting, Imperfect: my DD (who doesn't have children yet) was saying only recently that she wanted to keep early years screen free. She is very interested in films (hopes to have a career involving this) and wants watching a film to be something special, in cinemas.

In the early days of dating my now DH, the first time I invited him to a family dinner, his phone rang while we were sitting at the table and he couldn't resist getting it out to take a look. I will never forget my teenage boys chorusing ' No toys at the table!' Proud mum moment ha ha.

We did have a conversation about evening use of mobiles when we are sat together at home as DH seems to check his a lot. He did point out that I like to be on Gransnet a lot too [blush}. I guess the yardstick for us is if it is causing us not to talk to each other then we need switch off time. For us mobiles are not to be used if we go out / meet up with others socially - but then we are not surgically attached to them so it is an afterthought to take them.

Younger generations don't remember a time when they didn't exist and evidently they don't seem to see it as wrong or know any different.

A slight divergence, but my DD said she wanted to keep early years screen free with her son and largely has achieved this, - only seen TV / ipad screen on a couple of occasions and very limited, but he is fascinated by phones and knows to tap and swipe already at the age of 19 months. She once took him to the doctors as he was very fretty with a throat infection, but whilst there he seemed incredibly docile and then she realised he was completely mesmerised by the tv screen and the rolling adverts that were playing out behind her!

Oldwoman well done. I wrote on GN the other day about manners and mobile phones, one evening our neighbours called in, just for a chat really, whenever we ask something the lady hastily gets out her mobile and "googles" she was doing this when they were at our house, then her Husbands phone rang and he immediately talked to his Cousin who had rung him, still sitting with us, consequently DH and I looked at each other wondering why they had come, it wasnt to see us obviously, so rude! The are always armed with their mobiles, depite the fact I have a litttle wooden sign in the conservatory saying "mobile free zone"There must be some etiquette regarding mobile phones!

I have suggested to my 2 daughters that they attempt to have Techfree Sundays when all the paraphernalia is switched off. I get really annoyed when they come round to see me and our conversation is constantly interrupted by texts and calls on their phones. When I went out with them when they were little I was just unavailable if my home phone rang and had to rely on an answerphone if anyone needed me. Nowadays I think everyone is just too available and thus not really concentrating on the people they are with. One Saturday I went out alone to wander around the charity shops and left my mobile at home. By the time I got home there had been a major alert as both my daughters couldn't get me on the mobile or home phone and thought I was ill inside my home. I sometimes pray for the mobile networks to go down and a return to conversations without the constant pleeps from Facebook, Twitter ,and dating sites to alert the mobile owner that a wonderful match has been found. I think we are rapidly losing the art of conversation.

I think people should have their mobiles switched off unless they're expecting a really important call in such social situations. It sounds like too many photos too. Could you get yours out and say "time for some of mine"

Agree with what's being said, especially Imperfect27, but when I asked a child a question in the group we were dining with, he didn't look up and his mum said, "He's on the spectrum, he has communication problems so it's better to let him play on my iPhone." Is that, he has communication problems so needs the device, or he has communication problems because he's always on the device? The child in question could communicate fine when saying what he wanted to eat/drink/ or telling everyone to hurry because he was fed up of being in the restaurant!

People seem to be glued to their phones, I know that is how the lifestyle is today but there is a time and a place for everything I worked in the mobile industry for 20 years, if I served someone and they were on their phone I would walk away and serve someone else, no exscuse for rudeness.

We're pretty much all of one mind here, aren't we? A defining moment for me was when I was sitting behind a young couple in the theatre. His arm was around her whilst they watched the performance. "Sweet young love" I thought with a soppy smile. Then came the interval; both of them brought out their mobile phones and spent the entire time texting/surfing/tweeting/whatever - not a word of conversation between them!

Oldwoman -glad . Hope she sees the error of her ways.

Sitting on the Park and Ride bus the other day, DH and I noticed two examples of modern parenting. One Mum took her baby out of the pushchair, held her up to see out of the windows, and some of the passengers smiled and waved at her. Mum was pointing out different things to the baby and cuddling her. Opposite in the other buggy space sat the robot parent with eyes on the phone screen and fingers flying over the keys while her little girl sat, looking hopefully at her mother's face, and was ignored throughout the fifteen minute journey.

I remember when I had a coffee shop a young woman came to pay at counter with head to one side and making gestures, then indicating she couldn't hear us - we thought she was very disabled and responded likewise with gestures and nods and loud, clear speech etc while trying to sort out what she'd had to eat and her bill. Just as she turned to leave she straightened her head, removed a small mobile fone from crook of her neck and said 'thanks, bye'. I just stood there in shock!

It drives me mad as does someone paying for an item while talking on phone or visiting and answering phone . Fine to check if it could be urgent but ask if it is ok if they answer. We managed for years without them why do we have to be attached to them now. It used to be lovely to go on hols and really get away . Think it's one reason everyone I so stressed .

Everyone puts phone on the table at outset. First person to pick it up pays the bill :-)

When on public transport with my DD, we often pick up on someone's phone conversation and chat to each other as if we are part of it with them.
It amuses us and they never notice.

Today I met up with two friends, and after coffee at home we went to a garden centre for lunch. As it was nice we sat outside when suddenly we could hear what I thought was a radio. It was a chap sitting several tables away having a conversation with somebody. It was so loud that most of what was said on the speaker could be clearly heard. He did eventually have the grace to move away, but it was intrusive.

Imperfect - not really a friendship just an acquaintance. If she makes contact I will go for coffee (or whatever) again.

Pet hate of mine too.

Will never forget going out for a meal with DH and looking up from our table to see we were the only ones without phones out. Couples not being couples, parents ignoring children ... grrrrr... That and the need to shove an ipad in front of a child when you are out for a meal to 'keep them quiet'. Our children were always talked to and took a part in conversations around the table at mealtimes from year dot. Says something about our culture not placing children at the centre I think.

Oldwoman that must have been hard for you even though I feel you did the right thing. Do you want to repair the friendship having made your point?

Yes, well done Oldwoman!

I can't get used to hearing phone chatting going on in the next cubicle in public loos. Such bad manners.

Well done, Oldwoman70!