Suddenly Single at 75

Wearing the tee shirt now and never been happier...
it's a huge shock and blow to all the things you hold dear like trust and a future, worries about effect on family and friends to find the man you adored and felt he treasured you as much is actually a cheating sleazebag. Yuk - what an idiot your DH sounds. I felt the betrayal like a blow to my heart - the first time forgave him as he wept and begged for another chance saying what a fool he had been (yup) . The second time kicked him out without a wobble. I did have almost a year to recover and rebuild my damaged ego, finding friends with similar interests, throwing myself into activities like zumba, badminton, dancing, cookery, a writing circle (made friends who years on are still enriching my life while memories of him have faded). Be kind to yourself, I lost weight (classic) changed my wardrobe, hairstyle, vamped the house and garden and did everything I wanted not having to pander to his scorn and sarcasm. In time met the love of my love, married him in a whirlwind and can hardly remember why I put up with being so disrespected. Have strength dear and we are all rooting on this site I am sure- big hug from me and hope to hear how you get on...

It is your house as well. I know you don't want to see her but you need a roof over your head. If you own the house maybe it could be sold now. This would at least give you financial security. Citizens advice definitely first stop.

As for living on your own.... It was strange at first but I love it now. I made a new life for myself....doing things I would never have done

Good luck and hugs for you.

I can only say how sorry I am for you and so glad you have your family around you.

Oh ggmarion, my heart goes out to you. I was married to a serial adulterer and decided I'd leave him 33 years ago! I have had bad times and good but NEVER regretted it. I would agree, sort the finances out firsts and good luck - here's to the future xx

Poor you, what a shock.

However, if he is a heavy drinker, then you probably know quite a lot about living alone already and he was likely to get worse with that.

Try to consider this as a wake up call for you, get yourself sorted now. Off to citizen's advice, or if your home insurance has a legal helpline (plenty do) give them a call.

It really is all about you now, get cracking, life it calling to you.

My ex was such a womaniser, broke me when he did his final bunk but no one hurts me like that anymore, life can be so much easier when you are in control of your own destiny.

They may not have had sex of course, drunk old men are rarely good lovers, maybe they just got into bed, spilt wine and got out again? Still a betrayal of course, put yourself first sounds like you have been studying him and his drinking for a while, time for you now.

Definitely see a solicitor and get the finances sorted. The emotional side is harder but I would say plan/do one thing (more if you can but one is a start) that you always wanted to do but didn't because of your marriage. Something that you compromised on. I redecorated my bedroom to my taste. It gave me pleasure every morning when I woke up.

Citizens Advice is, as Charleygirl says, a good place to start to get advice and help. I'm so glad that your family is supporting you. Sorry I cannot offer you any useful advice, but I do wish you good luck with the new start.

I agree with all the advice here, I have put my "two pennerth" in already. The important thing here is the OP is 75, it sounds so good saying make new friends, go out for meals, get a new life. It is not easy at that age, in fact sometimes it is physically very hard. I just wish her all the best and am glad she has a loving family to see her through this.

I too wish you Bon courage
The only advice I can add is remember that there will be someone on GN who will already have the Tee shirt for whatever issues you are facing.
So hang on in there.
One day will wake up and feel OK about your life

Yes get your finances in order then enjoy your life. All the little things, stay late in bed with a cuppa and a good book, TV shows of your choice, out with friends etc etc. Voluntary work will give you motivation and possibly new friends. I have always said its better to live alone than be with someone you are not happy with.
Bon courage

I agree with ann and perhaps visit your local citizens advice bureau.

I have been on my own for 29 years and the first thing I had to do was to sort out the financial situation because I could not afford to pay the mortgage on my own so the house had to go up for sale.

So sorry to read this Marion. I cant give advice on living alone but can offer sympathy in your situation.
What a shock to find this out in later life. We should all be comfortable with each other offering companionship and mutual affection.
Sadly it often doesn't turn out this way.
You say you have left, have you secured your financial situation?, I think this is the first thing you should be doing and protect yourself.