Dilemma

Oh dear Lucky - your story will be so familiar to many of us. A much loved, tolerant close friend seemed scandalised at a recent catch up when she realised the amount of support those of us with adult children continue to give.

I was told by an older lady ,a friend of my MIL that its ridiculous that adult children expect their parents to help them ,they should be looking after the parents .....times change.Life isn't simple for most young families ,I have a daughter who has chronic health problems and a son who has his child half of every week even though he works on those days.The GD's mum wont change days to suit him so WE have her with us day and night for 3 or 4 days every week ..and my daughters 3 children when she needs help when her illness flares up.Wouldn't have it any other way,they will always be your kids regardless of their age.I couldn't understand ANY parent who could turn their back on AC and leave them to get on with it...because "thats what we had to do " Children are yours for LIFE

Children are yours for LIFE

This is true paddyann and always has been, of course.

However, if GPs are constantly on hand to bail ACs out, how will their children cope, as their own parents won't have had experience of managing their own lives?

Surely this is an emergency situation devongirl not a normal day to day occurance there s nothing in the post to suggest the parents aren't looking after their own children on a day to day basis but sometimes things crop up and then grandparents are surely there to help out
You don't say how far away this popping over is lucky or even if you are a car driver Is it possible to fetch the four children to yours then you're around for your husband if he needs you and can have everyone under the same roof Hopefully the cousins all get on ? Then when they ve all gone home have a big glass of vino xxx

Yes this an emergency but given your husband's problems it would be wise to talk to your daughters about contingency plans. You must take care of yourself too.

I agree, and I simply intended to convey my opinion that, in general, ACs need to sort out their problems without turning automatically to their parents - of course emergencies are different. I agree with both of you, can you bring children to your so you can be there for ypour husband, and they need to think about contingency arrangements in an emergency as you may not always be there to help them.

If you don't drive, and given your husband's needs, I think it would be reasonable for your DDs to share the cost of a taxi back to yours for you and GDDs, as long as it's not too far.

I do not think our parents loved us less because they expected us to manage our own lives and solve our own problems.

Children are for life, certainly, but apron strings aren't

Emergencies are something else and that is where families come into their own.

I completely agree, M0nica

Luckygirl, would you bring them to your home and have less to worry?

It was an emergency situation and all dealt with for today - we will have to see what tomorrow brings. I suspect that this is going to be ongoing for a week or so as her OH is away and there is no-one else to help.

I could not have them all over here as the general noise etc. would have been beyond what my OH can cope with. I rang him every hour or so to check he was OK and remind him about his meds. He was not great but coped.