I should be there

I am sorry to hear about your daughters accident, and hope once she is out if surgery you will get good news and she has a good recovery.
I know all too well how hard it is, my daughter doesn't live in the uk and is having treatment for breast cancer. She is now on her second lot of chemo and had 3 operations so far with another two more in the pipeline. We cant be with her and its very hard.
Hoping all goes well

Thank you silverlining. She's still in theatre. I keep trying to get into some activity to take my mind off it but feel glued to my phone waiting to hear.

i am sorry about your daughter's illness. How difficult this all is.

Best wishes to you too?

Nelliemaggs that is terrible, I'm not surprised you feel so upset and want to book the first flight out. It sounds like it might be Australia where the healthcare is excellent so hopefully, all will be well and you will be able to plan a trip out to see your daughter while she is recovering.

Two of my three children are currently in New Zealand and one looks likely to want to stay long term. An accident or illness to any of us is one of my worst fears. I know it's a wonderful lifestyle full of opportunities and I know we all have to be positive and get on with it (as other threads have said), but part of me thinks the wonders are a big price to pay for the anxieties and loneliness of those left behind.

Really hope all turns out well.

You have my sympathy Nellie as there is nothing worse than feeling helpless when you ache to be helping.?
As it isn't possible to be there, do all you can to keep in touch and when your daughter is out of surgery, the family can pass on your messages to her.
The last thing they need is to have to worry about you, trying to make the journey when you are not well.Do hope all will be well.

All good wishes

Nellie You have my heart felt sympathy you must be so worried but please take comfort in the knowledge that Australia/New Zealand do have the very best of medical care it has been stated it is the best in the world when it comes to trauma injuries my niece worked in A&E in Australia for 6 mths and she said they where the best ever so please be reassured if you can.It will be better for you if you can get yourself fit and then make the trip when you are better you will be such a help when your DD is at home recovering with her mum by her side.

Nellie, how I sympathise. Please let us know when you have news and try not to worry.

Our eldest son had a stroke while he was living in Japan. Booking flights and travelling when you are in a state of shock is awful never mind when you are ill. Does your DD have a partner?

nellimags I'm so sorry you must be so worried. I echo what someone else said about how excellent Austraian and NZ healthcare is - an Aussie surgeon saved my husband's life I have worked with a number of them and al fantastic. I hope you get some good news today. Its not a good idea to rush off on a journey like this until you know more anyway.

My heart goes out to you

You poor thing. I can just imagine how you must feel- just a bundle of worries. I'm sure all will be well and that she'll be fine. Meanwhile, you're not alone. I bet a whole lot of us Grans are worrying along with you.

I do hope that you will have good news about your DD soon.

So sorry to hear this, Nellie. Does your DD have husband/partner to support her and the children, maybe in-laws?

I do hope your daughter has a positive outcome; I am sure she will be in excellent hands. It is not easy being in your position - when my DiL was very ill her mother and father, in South Africa, were not able to travel to be with her, and I know from telephone conversations that we had how distraught she was, and all we could do was reassure her that we were fighting DiL's corner with everything we had and that was at least some comfort. I shall be thinking of you. ?

That's very hard news to get when you're so far away from your daughter and her family. It's horrible to feel so helpless, I hope by now you've had some an update to put your mind at rest. Thinking of you

If you are not well Nelliemags, your family are right in discouraging you to go, The journey will exhaust you and the jet lag is so debilitating. The family with have both you, the children and your daughter to care for.

At least with modern communications you will get up to date information quickly and when your daughter is hopefully a bit better you can speak and see her on Skype or FaceTime or messenger.

My best wishes for positive news soon and best to sit by your phone as until you know more you won't be able to concentrate on anything else.

Nelliemaggs so sorry that you have to bear this worry and at such distance - others have said it all, but just sending hugs across the ether - xxx

Thinking of you all, nellie,such a worry. Mums never stop being a Mum, do we? I can understand your family's worry for you but also understand your worry and the impulse to just go. I hope there has been some news to set your mind at rest just a little bit.

Good morning. Thank you so much for kind words of encouragement. I have been 'talking' to her on Messenger complete with photo of her stapled up tum. Unfortunately she lives far away from the fabled healthcare and has no insurance to fly to a city so is in a little hospital which serves a huge sparsely populated rural area. Two of the children were with her when she had the freak accident which must have been frightening. Anyway all is well for the moment.

She seems to be jinxed with accidents and I used to book the next flight out so it is hard to accept that I will never be able to do that again.

My heart sank when her Australian boyfriend bought the tickets to take her away and still further when she got pregnant. Three emergency caesareans, a hospitalised toddler and a wedding (not quite in that order) had me back and forth but then they moved still further away adding 10 hours to the journey and I have only managed it once. Since then a broken leg (mine) and all sorts of complications have taken my energy away.

Of course I am still anxious but I know her life is not threatened and her husband (who works away) is home and with the children so today will be a better day.

Thank you Gransnetters.

Thank you for the update Nellie, I am glad you have had some reassurance. It must be very hard to be so far away - not something you can ever quite resolve in yourself as there is a natural keening to be with our children I think. But good to know you have been able to message and that children are safe with their DH and they have a natural resilience that will help them bounce back from the upset.
I am sure your must DD know you love her very much.

Sorry for the muddled last sentence there! x

Good to get this update and to know that your DD is OK. Phew.

That is very good news, NellieMaggs. I hope your DD continues to make good progress! ?