Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Give us a turn POGS. The stage is yours......

that poor vicar.... he will never be the same!

I don't know how my knicker drawer turned up here in the bar...?have to give that some serious thought.....

still, have always wanted a pair of furry french knicks, so all's well that ends well.

Gusset en croute?

Chew

There's probably so much material in roses knickers because they were made out of parachute material in WW2.

Where's the ice? Me Bicardi needs cooling.

Sorry roses am I being a tad unfair

Furry French knickers!

Are you sure it's not another stale Cornish Pasty that's rotting in yer gusset.

I could hazard a guess as to how your knickers ended up in the bar........ but I'll leave it with you!
Have you started the gurning yet roses? Or is that just the after effects of POGS?

Cheek!

I'll have you know I am like the Queen, MINE DON'T SMELL.

Well something is rotten in the Argy Caff?
You can't blame me. When I'm wearing my fur coat, I don't wear any

What type of furniture is yor coat Marydoll ? Skunk? Or is that white stripe up the middle of it where you leant on that wet door jamb last week?

Fur not furniture drattit.

I think it might be ferret, I mean, fox. That's why the boys call me "? lady". Well I think that is the reason.

Welcome Lara you are obviously a girl who likes a good time, either that or you are as daft as the rest of us. Either way you are very welcome.?

Your round POGS or are you like the queen in that department too??

Lara

I've had a few 'Hair of the dog' in my time and I'm not that bothered as long the hair is the Ferrets!

Thanks for locating the Ice Bucket but some dirty begger amongst you left a scud mark and a verruca patch, I think they had been soaking their feetin it. YUK!!!!

I have bleached it but I dare say some of the caffs clientele won't notice as it resembles their late tipple of paraffin and blackcurrant. We can guess who they are!

Hold on Lara you don't get away without an initiation just cos you are 'management', what do you think ladies (or tramps in Marydolls case)?

Menopaws

I will willingly buy a round but unlike the Queen I carry cash and I've left me purse at home.

Is it OK to run up a tab?

I'm good for it as I robbed a bank years ago and they thought I was wearing 'an ugly mask' and to this day I've never been caught as they thought nobody could be this ugly they didn't put up an identity parade. Pays not to be a looker you know.

Big Jim on the door just said royalty came here tonight, is it true? Did Her Maj really call into our 'umble pit? Would have liked to have seen her but I had an urgent job sorting out the chemical loos in the yard. They keep backing up for some reason. Marydoll , you haven't been flushing your botanical experiments down there again have you?

Oh Menopause, thank you for the affirmation of my status. I have worked hard to reach this pinnacle of my "career".?, as my many clients friends will testify.

Sorry, Meno misspelling or " misspoke" as the travel insurance agent said to me today.?

Does Big Jim have veruccas?

No, but he does have various, unmentionable, unpleasant conditions. ?

POGS you can have a tab for two days and if not paid by then you are on urinal duty and picking out the 'raisins' from the peanut bowl.

Depends Menopaws . If Lara's going to be regular, she'll have to be initiated properly. If she's just going to flit in and out occasionally, she could just "do a turn" on the stage. Something she's really good at and wot would entertain us. Reciting Ode to a Nightingale, perhaps with no crib sheet it's only 8 verses? Or fire eating?