Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

You don't need to take your teeth out roses

As for my 'organ' Ana it is in somewhat of a state of silence since I shamed myself in front of the vicar when he said " could someone blow the candles out " and I did to the tune of The March of the Toreadors.

Embalming fluid Liaise? Brown bottle? Clear liquid? Smells like s**t? Oooooerrr! If it's the bottle you left on the second shelf in the kitchen, I gave it to the dray man when he delivered the barrels of milk stout this morning. Must admit he looked very well when he left; almost healthy considering he smokes 40 a day and drinks like a fish

How very kind of you to bring Gideon a stale pasty roses. Little fella is all tuckered up in your knicker drawer. So much fabric in there should be at size 38 that's he's almost disappeared beneath the gussets.

Have Anya and Anna gone off to another bar? they will be doing a pub crawl I expect, a three day bender.

I have brought a treat for little Gustav, a week old Cornish pastie, he will love it!

Any entertainment tonight? I could take my teeth out and do some gurning if you like?

I managed to get rid of the landlord with some green shield stamps and a drink of something from the bar. He did rush out in a hurry though. Geronimo's rats might earn a bit of income. They could be turned into casseroles, quiches or menu of the day-six different ways of cooking rat. I must away now to my job at the funeral parlour. Has anyone seen my embalming fluid?

No Menopaws , I thought I'd give it to you for your birthday!

Couldn't we use Gustav's catch for something? Seems a shame to waste fresh meat. Didn't you have a recipe for rissoles or something? We could sell them in the bar as haute cuisine at astronomical prices.

Good job we got the elf and safety man drunk while you removed the rats. So you didn't use the voucher then Chewy?

Sorry, I'm no help. Last time I tried to earn anything, I only got loose change and a voucher for liposuction. I'll go and bring Geronimo in. He's been out ratting again. Wish he wouldn't leave them on the bar.

The Admiral is loaded. I'll see if I can earn, borrow some dosh.

Ah, a late liquid lunch! ??? just what I need after shopping for hours today.
My poor feet!

How is everybody today? I am in the pink.

I can give you a tenner for the rent, will that do?

That pesky ferret of yours has the'Elf and Safety man from the council pinned down in the corner. The rent is late so one of you dipsomaniacs had better go out and earn some cash. One of your rich boyfriends might stump up the dosh though looking at you lot it wouldn't amount to much.

Oxferret?

So which university is it that Graham goes to?

I was trying to disguise my writing.

At least make it legible this time !

Me too, night night.
I'm off for a NC. You may see that also on the graffiti covered wall.

Time we staggered off to bed I will pop in for lunch tomorrow.

Actually "MD" means "More drink" where I come from?
I have been "baking" all weekend and I am feeling slightly " tired" I'm just having a little rest before cadets appear

Cheers pal! Quiet in here tonight innit?
Have you been in the gents lately? All that graffiti! Shocking! Every bit of it has the initals"MD" on it. I reckon she does it when she's been "baking".

To study or to stud? well, students manage both.

Have a pint on me Chewy ?

He's at the vet roses. He ate a tray of Marydoll 's brownies, thought he was bigger than he is and took on Menopaws's dog that guards the crates in the backyard. Don't think he'll be going to study for a day or two. Buying me a drink then, to cheer me up?

Where's little Glastonbury tonight, bless his furry ears.

Eurrrrrgh! Feel a bit sick, just a pint of gin please with no ice or lemon ( am on a diet.)

Whasssup?

Lovely to see you Liaise ! Come in, sit down and buy us all a drink. I'll have a double whisky with a maraschino cherry. Marydoll is right Liaise , poor old rosesarered is still staggering around the forums, creating confusion and mayhem left, right and centre after eating 12 brownies.--but she always was a glutton --

Welcome, Liaise. It's good to see a new face. Just warning you. Don't touch the hash brownies ?. I think I may have misread the recipe. it was supposed to be 1/2 tsp of our special "herb", I put in 12.