Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Well..... indeed they do sound like 2 very nice boys. Tell me, what are the "unfortunate effects" that bedevil poor Angus and Fabricio? Nothing messy? Not too much cleaning up? Or will we need to have a mop and bucket close by?

Rousing applause when Fabulous and Antoinette arrive but not too loud and someone hide the shiitakes for gods sake

Where’s Eg tonight? I want to know what her neighbour is doing now, and she also promised to come in and do a pole dance wearing nothing but three bits of old net curtains filched from her neighbours skip.There are several punters in tonight who have turned up just for that!
Bad news by the way, George escaped earlier, he managed to get out of the handcuffs and legged it, so we will have to make our own coffees now.

Don't worry about George, he is here with me, sipping champagne coffee. He is a bit "tired and emotional" right now. I'll return him later.?

I was intimidated by the Continental element and the posh lady in the high rolling car.

So that’s what really happened to him! I might have known it was you Marydoll OMG poor George.?

Ah, at last, here’s Eg come to do the pole dance, (the dance of the three net curtains) your audience awaits my dear, get cracking!

Remember Eg ( May we call you Eg?) everyone is equal. Don't let anyone intimidate you. We are looking forward to your company tonight.

Good thing Ihad that boob job. You're in for a treat???

Any sign of the boys? They might be outside too scared to come in. You'll maybe hear them giggling nervously?

Oh my eyes!

Jane you may want to nip outside and delay Frankincense and Arbuthnott from coming in for a moment, especially if they're of a nervous disposition. Eglantine is just warming up the pole.

Wow, the net curtains are off now, you go, girl! ?

Why is the bar emptying?

Mmmm, lost weight haven't I? I knew that Joe Wicks diet would do the trick!

Is there a welder who can unbend this pole?

Oh my stars "Eglantine*! You ARE dextrous, aren't you? My word, that's a very impressive tassle twirl you've got going on there. Do you stick them on with superglue?

Yes I found the hook and studs just didn't answer....

That pole will go at any minute as it's only held up by two small screws, talking of which, where's Fernando and Agnes?

I fear your boob job might have slipped a bit

Well they've just arrived back home. I've had to send Blenkinsop for the smelling salts for them. Antoine finally recovered enough to beg me not to make them actually enter the Argy Bargy. I gather that they looked through the window and saw something so unspeakable that they can't speak about it. I've had to send them to bed with a bowl of trifle each as a consolation.
I just hope they don't hand in their notice tomorrow morning. Staff today!!

Something nasty in the woodshed Jane ?

Well, you're going to be a hard act to follow Eg! You could hear a pin drop in here when you whisked off that last bit of net curtain. It can't have been the loud noises that upset Franco and Arlington because there's been a deadly silence since then.

Yes, the place is completely empty ( except for us ) I expect the customers were all racing off to catch the last bus.Or something.?

A reprise anyone?