Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

You mean....... I'm related to ROYALTY? Oh my giddy aunt! I've always wanted to be a royal. I've kept a crown at the back of my knicker drawer for just such an occasion as this. ?
Just you wait until Marydoll hears this!

Awww - I'm just a minor royal Chewy

I mostly just get to clean up after the corgis at the Royal Garden Parties.

Although one of my main duties is to make sure that Charles' ears are kept pristine. It takes 2 of us to carry just one of the cotton buds. It's pretty much a full time job.

Oh Chewy, you are so fickle. It didn't take you long to be seduced by minor, in fact VERY MINOR royalty.

Are you sure Dame J isn't a mole, planted by the fuzz, trying to find the source of the hash brownies, which are flooding the market?

Sorry to burst your bubble Mary

My forte is hash scones, so I have no need to encroach upon another's business.

In fact, my Prozac pancakes are the talk of the town. Camilla simply swears by them.

I think that is a diversionary tactic, to put me off my mission to unmask you.

All that name dropping doesn't impress me at all- so there!
I wondered why everyone was so dozy recently. You have been feeding them pancakes.ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You must have a HUGE knicker drawer Chewy if there is room for a crown and undies the size you need judging by that photo

To be fair, I think my pancakes have a lot to answer for. Poor Camilla's only 35.

Menopaws The size of my knicker drawer is a closely guarded secret but it's the size of a small vault. DameJudy would you please stop feeding Marydoll prozac pancakes, we need her awake because she's the only one that knows the code for the safe and we've got the tax inspectors coming tomorrow. If we haven't got the money to pay this time, we'll have to sell something to pay 'em off. wonder how much we'd get for Marydoll's gold tooth

Oh dear I forgot to tell you. I won't be here tomorrow, as I'm off on a three month cruise. (It's actually a cover story, so that I can source new "ingredients" for the bakery.)
After reading all the posts about GN threads appearing on public forums (fora, for the pedants among us), I will be unable to reveal the code on a public forum.
Just feed the inspectors a selection of our "bakery" goods, they will soon forget all of both their and our troubles.
PS. The Admiral is captain of this particular cruise ship, there is no way I am leaving him alone in the Argy caff with that floosie Dame J. She will be unable to keep her hands off him.

Sorry Mary I never could resist the smell of navy britches...

Sorry everyone , Marydoll went off on her cruise with the Argy keys in her pocket and I lost the originals ages ago but didn't like to admit it, anyway the doors are open so see you tonight and hope I don't get the sack!

First timer here - my GN name is my first request. Can I pay in old 2p coins, they're all I've got left after paying the bills this month?

I meant tuppences, not these new fangled decimal thingies.

Welcome prosecco but I don't know what you think we stock here? There is a blue nun (not Marydoll) in the cellar and with a quick shake I'm sure it will be fine and for that I will accept your old change but if I have to stock fancy drinks we need proper money, and I'm very good at spotting foreign coins btw

We do need as much cash as possible. The tax inspector is still locked up and I've pawned his suit and shoes to pay the alcohol bill. Maybe PROSECCO and her loose change could help out. BTW talking of loose things where are they all gone? We need somebody earning cash around here.

Well....I've something to tell you all. I wanted to wait and see if things worked out. I'm actually on a "working holiday" on the cruise ship and I have to say I have made a lot of dosh .

Tucking euros down your bra Marydoll ? I know you need to work, but don't overdo things on the cruise( or are you simply 'cruising' the town?)
My turn to man ( or person) the bar, we have all the drinks stocked now, and a complimentary tray of hash brownies on the bar top, but no funny money, Irish sixpences or bottle tops for the till if you please.

It wasn't just Euros, I'll take anyone anything on offer. I've made enough to pay off both the tax and vat inspectors and there is enough left to have a good old Argy Bargy knees up. .

We admire your energy Marydoll ???

If not your morals.?

I hope you are not casting aspertions? ?I am known for my philanthropic works.
You didn't complain the last time I bailed the Argy out. ?

You are a star of the bar Marydoll what would we do without you?
Although, the gin would last longer.??

Cheers? Well it would be, but Someone has finished the gin..?
Where is everyone? I think there is a party going on somewhere.. and I've not been invited?
After everything I have done for you all. I am devastated, I thought you were my friends.?

crawls in on hands and knees looking decidedly the worse for wear

What day is it?

Will pop by later and replace the gin that I drank dropped earlier.