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Floods of tears.

(55 Posts)
henetha Tue 25-Jul-17 11:11:34

I never cry. Bear in mind, I never cry. Can't remember the last time I had a good howl. But last Sunday there was a small electrical problem in my house which was easily sorted by my son after I phoned him for help. However, it frightened me out of all proportion for some reason and I horrified him by bursting into tears and being unable to stop. Huge great tears and sobs just completely overwhelmed me. Even after I calmed down and my son went home I still had more tears left and for the rest of the day I just let it happen. I blubbed on and off all day. A neighbour happened to call on me later and I cried all over her too.
How stupid is that!
Have any of you experienced anything like this?
P.S.- I'm alright now. In fact, I'm feeling better than I have for ages.

TriciaF Fri 28-Jul-17 17:46:42

It's mostly music that does it too for me, Alie.
But I think I wrote once before (?somewhere) when I went into the first room at Bletchley Park, which is mainly visual, I burst into tears. perhaps there was some sound too.
Henetha - hope you're feeling better and Annie - you've got good reasons to be conflicted over this.
Personally - it's not just just one good cry, it happens every time the 'trigger' happens.
I've often wondered why I don't cry in situations when I know that others do.

AlieOxon Fri 28-Jul-17 13:02:27

I went to a U3A meeting about the history of pop music, and what made me cry was...'We'll meet again', Vera Lynn of course.
I was evacuated, to my grandparents, during the war and have no memories of being upset then (I was 3)...but that just set me off.

TriciaF Fri 28-Jul-17 12:05:12

I hardly ever cry, not even at the death of close relatives, but I've just come across something whichmade me cry - WW2 memories.
I was born in 1936 so was old enough to register the stress and anxiety of those years. On another forum there's a discussion of factory work during WW2. I remembered the radio programme Worker's playtime, and found this link:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLhUK23coA8
Suddenly I'm in floods of tears, can't listen to it.
Perhaps we can block out the feelings connected to sad/stressful events, but they're still there at the back of our minds.

henetha Thu 27-Jul-17 11:42:24

Anniebach, - I thought I couldn't until Sunday! I know how you feel, you are holding it all inside. Maybe some catalyst, - like me with the electricity, - will happen to you (nothing too nasty, I hope) and your floodgates will open too. It sounds odd, sending you wishes that you will soon cry, but if it makes you feel better like it did with me, then I do indeed hope you can have a really good cry very soon. All the best to you.
Again, everyone, thanks for all the good wishes and hugs and kind thoughts. You are marvelllous!

pollyperkins Thu 27-Jul-17 11:19:48

Ithink if you bottle things up sometimes it all comes out at once. I never cry and felt guilty that I didn't cry when my mother died though we were close and I missed her dreadfully. Then a few weeks later I had a row with DH about something trivial and burst into tears and couldn't stop for ages. I managed to gasp out that it was about my mother really and he understood and held me!

annodomini Thu 27-Jul-17 09:47:02

granny23, I can relate to your experiences and the tears I shed when I was stabbed in the back by one of my own party and lost the chairmanship of an important Council committee. Occasions during my divorce proceedings also got the better of me. Nowadays I can't shed tears because I have Sjogren's Syndrome which dries up the secretions, so I can only weep inwardly and that hurts - it's so much better to 'let it all out'.

Granny23 Thu 27-Jul-17 08:42:41

Having been a real cry-baby as a young child - Wednesday's Child is Full of Woe - and seen how I looked, all snottery, blotchy and puffed up after a bout of crying, I learned how to stop myself crying. As an adult I got through all sorts with nary a tear shed, even the dreadful year when FIL, MIL, 2 maiden aunts and my Mother all died one after the other. I felt that others needed me to be strong and I was.

However when 3 years later I found my beloved Dad, dead in his car in the driveway, I sent for the ambulance, rang my sister, went to the hospital, identified the body, drove home - and totally dissolved, screamed, howled, gasped until I was totally exhausted.

Same thing happened when I, lost the Council seat, that our party had held for years. Flat calm until the half way through the victory celebration (others had won) then suddenly 'lost it'. My daughter whisked me away and home where I 'roared and bawled and gret'.

The 3rd and I sincerely hope last time, occurred in the middle of DH's descent into Dementia, when having somehow got through every appointment, and dealt with matters financial, power of attorney, etc. I took the rare opportunity, whilst DD was visiting and able to sit with her Dad, to go into the city to the Bank to ask for a credit card in my name, which I had been trying to arrange on-line for months. Had a terrible time trying to park, waited in the queue in the Bank forever to reach the counter, only to be turned away with an abrupt, 'you'll need to phone and make an appointment'. Walked out shaking, had a chat with a homeless guy on the pavement, drove home like a zombie, ran into the house and collapsed sobbing. DD and DH thought I had had an accident or similar - it was near an hour before I was able to explain what had happened.

Sometimes the dam bursts because of one more tiny crack in its endlessly shored up facade....

maddy629 Thu 27-Jul-17 08:04:06

Gaggi3 you are not strange at all, I watched 'Long Lost Families' last night and I kept crying, it doesn't take much.

maddy629 Thu 27-Jul-17 07:59:22

henetha it's healthy to cry, certainly not good to bottle it all up. I find it easy to cry, sad movies, new babies, even my husband saying he loves me can bring on a cloud burst.

meandashy Thu 27-Jul-17 06:51:51

Henetha I'm sending you a hug and some ?.
I hate crying. It was drummed into me as a kid that crying was a weakness ?.
But I was reading a book yesterday. It was fictional, not a romantic novel, infact just the opposite! A particular phrase started me thinking about other stuff & in turn set me crying! No idea where it came from ?.
I'd like to say I felt better but I ended up with a headache ?

Nelliemoser Wed 26-Jul-17 23:39:33

I feel like doing that it but never quite get there. If I started could I stop?
Yes I know its not good to bottle it up but at times I cannot see how much good it would do.
I do not have a confidante since my friend emigrated.
My Asperger OH is of very little use in such circumstances doesn't do appropriate emotion.
He doesn't have any sense of humour. I want some joy in my life not twenty minutes non stop lectures. Sorry about the rant folks. I had better go to bed.

Elrel Wed 26-Jul-17 23:10:05

There have been times when I've been just holding things together, trying to get on with everyday life, to appear 'normal'. The cause might be a health worry, a family problem, shock, rejection or perhaps depression. The one thing that I knew mustn't happen was someone being kind to me, asking whether I was all right. If someone did, that was it, defences crumbled and the tears fell, however hard I bit my lips, pushed my fingernails into my palms and constricted my throat.
Since I'm mostly alone at home now I've stopped crying in physical pain or at domestic mishaps. There's no point really, I just have to deal with with the situation as best I can!
I do shed an involuntary tear at some posts on Gransnet or when seeing media coverage of unimaginable suffering. If only there were more compassion in the world.

Luckygirl Wed 26-Jul-17 22:30:17

Sounds as though the dam needed to break. I am sure that it will have been a benefit to you - and also it has made your family aware that you are not made of steel and might need a bit of support now and again. I hope that a good weep has been a positive thing for you. Don't be alarmed by it - it sounds exactly what was needed. Take care. flowers

Diddy1 Wed 26-Jul-17 22:22:10

I am a crier, and getting worse with old age I might add. Henetha, its good to get it out of your system, I know you will feel a lot better.

MargaretX Wed 26-Jul-17 21:43:17

Its shock that causes those sort of tears or you have been keeping them at bay. To me its impossible not to cry occasionally and often do Sometimes its the news.

I once took a an abused women into hospital and the doctor examining her, knew what to ask eg. where she'd been kicked etc and the next day the tears just came out like you described and fell onto the potatoes I was peeling.
Whatever the cause they are a release and you will feel better for it.

grannybuy Wed 26-Jul-17 21:23:06

Strikes a chord with me. Just this morning, I saw a man in Asda who looked like my late father, who died 9 years ago, and the tears just came. I couldn't stop. It made me realise that I hadn't grieved properly. At the time, I was working full time, and supporting my mother, and was determined to be stoic. Maybe we all have things bottled up in our subconscious which are released by some unrelated trigger.

rosesarered Wed 26-Jul-17 17:33:13

anniebach ?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 26-Jul-17 17:29:39

I hope you feel better. I think sometimes that keeping a brave face can result in hidden worries and it can often be something seemingly small which sets us off and brings out all that tension. Having a good cry can be cathartic so blub away.

Caro1954 Wed 26-Jul-17 15:41:28

flowers for Anniebach. I'm like (you except for the odd tear over Love Your Garden!) It would be such a relief sometimes.
Henetha I'm so glad you feel better.

keffie Wed 26-Jul-17 15:07:51

If we weren't meant to cry we wouldn't have tear ducts. Tears are healthy and for letting go of pent up emotions. They are a surrender to what is and acceptance of things. Having been bought up not to cry and the British stiff upper lip I learnt later in life the point to tears through therapy. The problem with tears is if someone sees them they tell us not to cry. The reason is they don't know what to do. I tell people now let me have my tears. I don't want you to do anything. Sounds like you had a build up and the smallest thing sent you into needing that release. Glad your feeling better now. Your not stupid and neither are your tears

Anniebach Wed 26-Jul-17 14:20:54

henetha, I cannot cry , I want to , just an awful feeling of crying inside , miserable feeling, so pleased you were able to let the tears flow x

rosesarered Wed 26-Jul-17 14:18:07

Perhaps we should all 'let it go' more often.
henetha glad you feel better now.?

henetha Wed 26-Jul-17 14:15:06

Thank you ever so much for all your kind comments about my blubbing. It is so comforting to know that I'm not the only one this has happened to.
The noise the electricity was making frightened me, and things I've been holding in lately all came flooding out.
I feel so much better for it, so from now on I shall unclench my jaw and release my feelings more.
P.S. Just a bit puzzled, Annniebach, about why you are envious? Hope you are o.k.?

Cosafina Wed 26-Jul-17 13:43:49

I'm not a cryer, although there was one day in maths class (secondary school) that for some reason I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying for hours though I had no idea why.

As someone said earlier, though, as I get older I now find that I well up even during ads on TV - it's hugely embarrassing!

Lupatria Wed 26-Jul-17 12:42:33

i don't usually cry but, on monday, i really let go!
my grandaughters, who live with me, were being right little so and so's. they knew they had jobs to be done but weren't interested in anything but their mobiles and laptops.
they finally did one of the jobs which their mum told them had to be done [they unstack the dishwasher and they were also supposed to do one other thing which i can't remember now]. at the end of half an hour they went upstairs leaving the table covered with mess and dirty dishes.
when i asked them if they were going to do them i got "mummy said half an hour and we've done half an hour"!!
i'm afraid that got to me [i'm crippled with arthritis and can't walk too well and clearing tables is a long job] so i did a lot of shouting and then went upstairs in tears and slammed my bedroom door.
lo and behold when i got downstairs again the table had been cleared and older grandaughter was in the process of giving it a good clean. younger grandaughter was also falling over herself to get things done.
it's lasted until today and i think it'll last a bit longer but i also think they are more considerate.
sometimes it helps - tears or tantrums [which is basically what happened!]. it's just got to come out for whatever reason and we probably don't know what that is!