Can you be born unhappy?

Bet you feel better though!

Yes we have basic personalities. Some researchers think our gut influences us. So a better diet may help and exercise.
Having said that I have just eaten chocolates and am slumped in front of the television.

Yes I believe you can be born with a brain that is biased towards pessimism and one that has fewer "wires" to the pleasure areas of the brain, as well as chemical differences. Brains are adaptable to a certain degree so that if things always turn out well for that child the wiring could be remapped to some extent, but just like dyslexics, you can't always reverse everything otherwise a dyslexic could overcome dyslexia just by reading a lot!

My sister and I are polar opposites. We were brought up exactly the same but I have always been optimistic and positive but she is totally negative . She is jealous of everyone and everything and is always miserable. She has had quite a privileged life whereas i have always struggled but she will never be satisfied. Having read this thread I really think that she was born unhappy.

I had a very happy, secure childhood, and have never had depressive moods or anything like that. I think I'm just naturally not a very ebullient type. (Misery guts!)

I agree, ellie. My DDs father is also a depressive, I'm afraid she has a very unfortunate genetic heritage and also sufferes from depression (as well as other things). I feel guilty that I didn't think about that when thinking about having a child. I've always thought of myself as ugly and was so obsessed with worry about passing that on, that I forgot about the depression.

I've never been truly happy and have been on
Anti depressants a few times. My daughter was never happy and was diagnosed with depression in late teens and has been on medication since. I'm convinced there is a genetic link .

Yes of course devongirl sorry. I knew what I meant but got it the wrong way around.

So glad you are feeling so much better now.

No gilly, I think it's the other way around - you're depressive by nature, whereas circumstances can trigger a period of depression. (I think - I'm a depressive myself, having been hospitalised for 3 months at one point, but thank God been fine for the last many years). Good luck

Hope you weren't born on a Wednesday! "Wednesday's child is full of woe".... I can't see how a child can be born unhappy unless the actual birth was traumatic! I can't remember ever being really unhappy when I was little and I certainly can't remember anything when I was a tiny baby...so, no I don't go with this theory...expert or not, their not always right! A lot I suppose has to do with the nurturing of a child following birth, and the bonding bit.

My gd always feels like that. I think t goes back to the womb to be honest.
Her mother, drank and smoked, wicked temper and a thorougherly nasty evil person.
My gd has mental health issues anixity attacks, panic attacks, over thinks.
We have a special guardianship because she lives with us
Her mother isn't my d. She was my late sons partner.

Thank you devongirl so in that case can someone be depressive because of circumstances? (I am trying hopelessly to analyse myself). Surely not.

I think blueberry summed it up, gilly - a depressive suffers lifelong bouts of depression, whereas being depressed can be a one-off..

I am 55 and my hormones are a mess OOmamOO so there could be a link.

Is there a difference between being depressive and being depressed? or are they the same thing?

Not sure if it's the same thing, but I once read that some people are born young and some people born old, they were citing the difference between the old Queen Mother being born young and Prince Charles being born old. I think they were right.

I believe your character is far more to do with nature than nurture unless your childhood has been very exceptional in some way.

I had a very difficult childhood but who can say whether that is responsible for my shyness and lack of self confidence. Sometimes I am very up, and antidepressants keep me from spiralling too low. I am both pessimistic and optimistic, I may be 71 but I put it down to hormones, therefore nature?

It was absolutely serious Teddy123 I really, honestly don't have any (real life) friends. Its just the way it is.

I do have a sister but she has her own (large) group of friends and a very good social life. I could probably tag along if I wanted to but I would feel like a fish out of water.

I did have a couple of friends in the past but I probably bored them rigid. Then with family commitments,work and situations out of my control I very rarely saw them. Tbh it got to the point where I started to think I was only ever invited along to make them feel good about themselves so I started cancelling meetings and then we gradually lost touch. I find it very hard to socialise and have pretty much worked alone for over 25 years so never had any work friends/acquaintances.

All my own doing you see.

Everyone is born with their own personalities and as they grow are influenced by their upbringing and outside influences, and events that alter the course of their lives. Read the children's rhyme Mondays Child etc....although it is a simple little poem it has a certain insight into childhood characteristics.

Totally disagree with the expert you were listening to gillybob
I had a very happy,secure childhood and was loved and wanted.I suffered periods of blackness for no reason at all and having been treated for depression for most of my adult life,realise that it was clinical depression even then.There was mental illness in my mother's side of the family so I do think there is a strong genetic link.
I am a Mediator and the description given does fit me very well.

Kittylester is right: pessimism and optimism are recognised personality traits and are thought to be inborn.

I was born ass backwards (breech) and on Friday 13th. People say that explains it all

I did the test and I am Consul - people in high school that were cheer leaders and very popular. Not true then at ALL but through many years of learning and experience I have changed.

I'm not sure - I think that some people are always discontented no matter what. One of my BILs always seems dissatisfied with life but he has a lot to be grateful for.
I saw a TV programme ages ago with Mum - it was about a very sad lady who'd tried all kinds of medication but was permanently depressed and had tried to kill herself a few times. I felt so sorry for her as there didn't seem to be any cure for this. Maybe a chemical imbalance was to blame?

I'm an executive which I think means bossy. I was always called Bossy Britchers by my brother.
As a child in the later war years I was often frightened and feared for my mother's life but that was not unusual in those times.
Now I am much more laid back and on the whole a happy person. Especially as the years go by I get happier.
I suppose I found child rearing boring and hard work but seem to have done alright, and now even the GCs are grown up and I am happy to be on the sidelines.
I am a very orderly person and love planning either holidays or DIY.
The test says I was extroverted but that comes from being a teacher where you get used to standing in front of a class. On the otherhand I am defintely not introverted so I suppose the test is correct.

Babies bring a whole genetic scale with them and whatever is activated depends partly on their circumstances but I feel that some people seem to be so miserable and negative it ruins their wholelife and perhaps they were miserable babies.

I am a worrier, like to have all bases covered to feel secure, my husband just takes life as it comes and then says see it never happened what were you worrying about. (very stressful for me.)

We can learn to change our thought patern, that is what cognitive behavior therapy is all about. I did a very helpful course call STEPS and it helped me to understand my thought process and change a bit and be more confident.