Family needing help.....

If you were in at home most of the day would it be that much of an inconvenience to have a dog just there with you pottering about - a good excuse to take some exercise too and meet and chat to a new group of dog walking people. If you were out for most of the day on a trip or something then your daughter would have to go home in her lunch hour to let it out for a wee or find a friend or neighbour to do it or pay a local pensioner who loves dogs but can't have one full time to walk it.

I have my daughter's dog when she's away and I love it as it's extra companionship and it makes me take some exercise. It's not a commitment I'd want full time though. I also have a cat (they do get on)but nice it's for a treat.

I've had grandkids for over 14 years now,still have an almost 8 year old at least 2 days and nights a week.I'm happy to help but I wouldn't take a dog...if they dont have time for a pet they shouldn't have got one.I have neighbours who work all day and leave 3 dogs in the house ,another who puts her dog in a cage most of the time and it barks constantly.Its cruel and I cant see any sense in having an animal just to lock it up.

I have had my grandchildren since they were 6 months old up until they are both now at school. We pick them up from school every day and look after them until DD comes home. I, like Imperfect27 always feel that my DD thinks it is a privilege for us to have them. She is very grateful but come weekend when my DH and I need a break, our grandchildren want to come to see us. We live very near so they can nip on their own. What can I say, no I don't want to see them. I feel my daughter should say no on our behalf without asking us if it's ok. She has also asked me to have a dog share, us have it during day and hand it over in evening and weekends but I have vetoed that. Friend did that and ended up with dog full time when one of grandchildren was frightened of it. Don't say yes. People shouldn't have dogs if they can't look after them properly.

Children are one thing. But a DOG? That's taking the piss.

Firstly she should have asked you before she even bought a dog. People dont this and then try and sort things out. If it's a puppy it can't be left for more then two hours. An adult dog it's five, at the most . A dog walker is good but that's only an hour so company for a dog , a very socialable animal. Left dogs get bored and lonely, that's when you come home to find your sofa in shreds. You find dog poo and urine or angry neighbours because the dog has howled all day. Buying a dog should never be a spur of the moment thing. The dog will rely on you to give him a happy, healthy life , will your life style do this. I know I'm on my platform here, but I've seen this so many times .

Oh dear! I do quite a lot of childcare too for my 2 DDs. I looked after DGS 1 & 2 for 2 x days a week from a year old to starting school. Now I take both DGDs to school, and pick up all 4 DGC after school, twice a week. I look after the boys 2 x days a week in the holidays. I offered to do this and have no problem doing it. Neither DD expects me to do more but I will offer if I know they are going out and I am free. They appreciate that DH and I have a social life/ need our own time. If we book a holiday I give them plenty of warning and they make alternative care arrangements. I would not have any pets on a daily basis..though I pop round to feed cats occasionally but DDs always pay for a pet service when they are away for more than a couple of nights.

@Derek100 - You have a very strange sense of humour, not one that I like one little bit frankly. But, hey ho, each to their own...!!

Tell them to look on the borrowmydoggy website...people offer their services for free and both parties are insured.
No way should you be expected to look after a dog...

The time has come for you to say NO. No ifs, buts or maybes. Just say politely but firmly that much as you have enjoyed having your grandchildren to talk to, teach things to and take around, a dog is an entirely different prospect. Lovely though dogs are, you don't get the same feeling from them; a dogsitter could do the job every bit as well as you could. The same could not be said of your grandchildren.

"We find it impossible to say NO"

For heaven's sake woman, GROW A SPINE!

Just say no.

It is possible that your daughter has suggested this as she thinks that you might miss seeing so much of the children - but still say NO.

Maybe the daughter should have brought the subject of what to do with her dog before she took the job...or even discussed whether you could look after the dog if even she decided to go back to work.
My son and his future wife....wedding in Sept.......live in London....so bit far from us...but they both have very high profile jobs...full time....got a dog 2 years ago ...and have a doggy lady go in everyday and walk it in middle of the day .
Maybe your daughter could think about that.

the key thing is to decide whether you want to help out with the dog at all. If you don't, say so asap. Have you been dog owners, if not, that suggests you just aren't doggy people and No is the only thing to say.
I am the emergency dog care for my daughters dog and kennels when they're on a holiday they can't take the dog to. I have always had dogs, fostered and adopted Dogs and currently have two of my own dogs. It is time consuming, you have to get them out twice a day, even a settled adult dog shouldn't really be left much over four or five hours.
Dogs need their people. Whatever your daughter decides, I do hope it doesn't involve getting another dog to keep dog 1 company.
Best of luck!

I'm sure that if you had wanted a dog, you would already have one. Just tell your DD that you have other plans. If your offspring lived as far from you as mine do from me, they would have learned to stand on their own feet by now, though I'm not recommending that you move!

Well, jefm, I won't know if they do tell their grandchildren about us, or what they tell them!
Not at the ages we all are - although some of my (3rd?) cousins remember their great-great-grandmother, and there are still tales told about her!

Luckily my DDs are fully aware that I want a life and I'm not a glorified babysitter etc. They had the babies and the animals so they should be responsible for them. I help out when I can but they don't rely on me and they never would.I got help from my parents but never did I expect it or rely on it. Seems to be the norm these days. 4 ladies in my street have dog walkers come in maybe that's the answer.

I am looking after my daughters dogs as well as my own for the next three months as she got a job abroad with her husband. A bit different cos I've got a dog to watch anyway. But I may help her old dog, he s no trouble but the wee one is a different story! My hubby would gladly keep all three but I've told her three is too much for us and can't have it permanently. She accepts this.
I'd be honest and say u are wanting some time out with your hubby now that you aren't childminding, and maybe offer to have the dog twice a week and u and ur husband could treat them as activity days, e.g. A nice walk and lunch out ( dog could be in car if nec, or a picnic . But be firm and explain why.

I have 4 brothers and one of them just assumed my parents would provide childcare. They said no. Then when my son was born and I managed to get a job share instead of a full time post, the same brother expected me to watch his child on my "days off" for free! I said no! We have alwAys helped at holidays, illness etc with bairns, dugs, anything but not full time! Folk have a hard neck!

If I agreed to look after a dog, even our daughter's dog, my husband would leave home.

Give them plenty time to make arrangements. Say you'll have the dog the same day u meet your grandchild. Explain you and hubby need downtime together now and will be doing things together the rest of the week. Just keep repeating we can only do one day a week, and don't go into details, called broken record technique. We are retiring from careers, just able to do one day a week from now on.

You say the daughter with the dog is your eldest, but you don't mention whether she is the mother of any of the grandchildren you have been looking after. If she is not, she probably feels reasonable about asking you to take her dog on, when you have looked after her nieces and nephews.
These days lots of childless people equate dogs with children, so if this is the case she will be hurt or offended when you explain that you are not able to help with her dog.
I agree with all the others: looking after children is one thing, looking after a dog is something different. I don't suppose your daughter asked whether you would be willing to help with the dog before she got it, did she?

It should be possible to leave a dog alone while at work if it has been walked in the morning, especially if someone comes in to walk the dog in the middle of the day. SOMEONE PAID TO DO SO - NOT YOU

Tell her as kindly as possible that you are looking forward to being free of family responsibilities and that you want to be able to do a lot of exciting things while you are still able, now that you have retired and are no longer the family's babysitter cum Nanny.

If she is hurt or offended that's her problem, please don't let her make it yours. Probably both of you feel the other is being unreasonable here, but you can't tell me you got through the teenage years without this young woman and her siblings feeling you were unreasonable and telling you so, and you all got over that, didn't you? Feel free to point that out to her!

We did say yes to our son with the proviso that we did not have to organise our lives around his dog. We have days out and lots of holidays and it does make him realise how much we do for him. In fact HE took us away for a long week end to thank us! And we do love his dog! ?

As is often said on Mumsnet "NO is a complete sentence".

Yes, I just wish more people would equate having a dog as having another baby...that never grows up. I just feel so sorry for the dog in this situation. They like company and being outside. I'm very irritated this woman just accepted a full-time job knowing she had duty of acre to her dog.

Yes, I just wish more people would equate having a dog as having another baby...that never grows up. I just feel so sorry for the dog in this situation. They like company and being outside. I'm very irritated this woman just accepted a full-time job knowing she had duty of acre to her dog.