Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

I'm in the bloody cellar, someone's locked me in! Mind you plenty of booze keeping me company

Well, I don't know where the others are, it's a disgrace! roses is drunk under a table, but where's Menopaws disappeared to? And we haven't seen Chewy all day...

I'm sure you can manage the 100 yards ann - just take those high heels off and you'll be here in no time!

I told Attila to stand down as he was apparently not needed. Now he's too drunk er tired. You'll just have to hitch. Wear a mini skirt, you'll be picked up in no time

I am still waiting for my transport.
I have had a lovely day so far and my S has cooked for 6 of us, fillet steak and sauce au poive with cheesecake to follow and lovely wine for those of us old enough to drink. Obviously that included me!! I await your call.
..

The tyres on the wheelbarrow are flat. I was hoping the firemen would give Ann a lift, but they all seem to be exhausted. I wonder why? Perhaps Anya knows.

Evening all, had to tear myself away from the excitement (?) of the Political threads as I remembered it was ann's Birthday Do tonight!

What time does it start? Has the wheelbarrow set off to collect her yet?

Glad you saw your mistake Marydoll, what do you think I am? Anyway I prefer farmers. If you find Chewy please bring her back with you, she's the entertainment.

Drat! I shouldn't have tried that sherry. It's Anya who is at the fire station, not Menopaws. I bet Chewey's with her.

I'll probably be late, as I am going to pop into the fire station over the field from our house (I actually do live near the fire station.), just to check that Menopaws is ok. She may need a bit of company.

Don't worry about not having enough booze. I found a half full bottle of Walnut Brown sherry, along with sherry glasses which were an engagement pressie 40+ years ago. The sherry was left from my engagement party and I have been saving it for a special occasion...and that occasion is Anne's birthday. I do believe booze improves with age.

Hang on, remember Anya said she had invited a fireman to your party? Also she hasn't been around for a day or two? Hmmm methinks she might be otherwise occupied. Anyway her thoughts are with you Ann but this is not the end...

I heard u come in roses as I was in the cellar getting several other bottles as I knew you would drink yours really quick, good to see you all, it all looks great. Anya sends her very best Ann cos she wanted to be here but she has been 'called away on secret business',she didn't say much it's all a bit strange as she loves a good knees up. We will interrogate her on her return so I will save the good gin to prise it out of her

.....too late! Hic.....Happy Birthday to yoooo, happy Birthdaaay to yoooo, happy birthdaaay dear Aaaaaaan, happy birthdaaaay to yoooooooo!........falls under the table and goes to sleep zzzzzzzzzz

No Jane you do not.....Attila ( the hun) could do with the practise all right, I mean he weaves about all over the place ( I think it's something to do with his only having one eye.)
Right! ( rubs hands) let's get this party started, ???
I have a nice bottle of Merlot here ( stolen from Merlot) a bit dusty, but should be fine, hope somebody arrives soon or I shall finish it all and start singing

My pal Attila the taxi driver has offered to do the transport for annsixty. He needs the practice so he'll do OK when he's retested next month. You don't need insurance if you haven't actually got a valid licence do you?

ann I am sure that lot will club together to get you a taxi home because there is no way that you can carry all of the gifts + the doggy bags home.

I just hope that the food prepared is well within date and you do not end up with an extra gift of salmonella or something equally horrendous.

I am very excited now.
Will there be crackers and balloons?
How big a bag will I need to carry all my presents home in?
Does anyone know how to make those swans out of cooking foil so I can bring the left over food home?
I am a poor pensioner you know ?

Happy Birthday Ann......( shysal has raided my garden.....again!)
Coffee and cake here now.... main party this evening....looking forward to it already,

Happy birthday annsixty, enjoy your day. I would not normally visit such a low class establishment , but I have made an exception and come to the café just to send my good wishes.

Happy birthday from me too Anne Sixty. I am up early to get the food prepared. Do you have any favourite dishes? Well I'm really only up early because after weeks of miserable weather, the sun is shining through the blinds and DH was up VERY early to go out and play golf, waking me up as he blundered about.

Thankyou, I am up so early I will be tired out soon so don't be too particular as I won't see the dirt.
It will take me until this afternoon to repair the ravages of time on my face so I will get on with the job and will see you later.

Happy birthday Annsixty xx I'm up bright and early to give the floor an extra scrape/clean in your honour, I might even do under the tables if you are lucky. I also noticed at this time of day that the windows are rather stained but if I clean one I have to clean them all and I can't be arsed birthday or not so I'll just pretend they are pale yellow glass from now on. See u all later

I know a randy Andy who works in a gin palace, would that do? I think he sings too

I want it decorated with flowers and streamers otherwise the neighbours will assume it's just the usual, being brought home from the Working Men's Club but on Wednesday instead of Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
I stagger home under my own steam on the other evenings.

Good idea Annsixty but I don't think they'll let Geraldo in Buck House and I can't leave him at home can I? Nope, you'll just have to make do with the Argy. I'm just clearing the manure out of the wheelbarrow and then your carriage awaits! You lucky girl you!