Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Well done Meno you did a grand job of cleaning the place up.?

Well, just popped in, is the sun over the yard arm yet? A large gin please and go easy on the tonic.No ice thank you ( is it meant to be that strange yellow colour?)
Who knows where Galahad widdles when we're not looking.

Well this is a quiet Saturday, where are you all, I've cleaned up and everything, are you all suffering from Ann's party or are you watching the tennis?

I know. I did " murder the "Blue ridge mountains of Virginia" . However, you should hear me singing, The black hills of Dakota". I always did fancy Howard Keel

We're going to have to keep the noise down this weekend or we'll get closed down if we keep the neighbours up again. I'm not surprised they complained though Marydoll. Your rendition of "In The Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia", in falsetto, at 4.30 in the morning was a bit much. And I don't think you should have tied Annsixty up in knicker elastic and tied her to the sign posts on the roundabout either. Poor woman was traumatised. As was that long distance lorry driver who witnessed it. I WAS SHOCKINGLY SHOCKED!

So kind of you to keep me in your thoughts?

Oh I knew you'd dob me in Marydoll ! Never could keep a secret could you! What happened to your pink bloomers? All air traffic was stopped over Manchester on Tuesday night because of "low flying knickers". I thought of you!

Now Chewey you know It's yours. I saw it on your washing line that night I came round to borrow the leopard skin one.?

It wasn't mine jalima; it was my friend's basque and suspenders, honest! and that sailor must have agreed with you because he couldn't get it off me fast enough!

Last seen on the barman we employed who was restocking the gin at the time chewbacca.

I must say it looked better on him than you - sorry

I'm asking for "a friend" of course, not me, but has anybody found a black and purple basque and suspender ensemble lying around? My friend was wearing it on the night of Annsixty's party and she seems to have mislaid it. I definitely had it on when I was playing vodka shot roulette with one of roses sailor friends .

Flippin' 'eck - corsets in this day and age?
You must have been eating too much birthday annsixty! Thanks for not splitting on us them, old bean!

I can't crochet.
Trying makes me very crochety.

I owe you an apology, Anne. I thought I was keeping you safe, using my knicker elastic. I was engrossed in looking everywhere for my salmon pink bloomers (They fell down when the elastic was taken out and a huge gust of wind I think it was Gabriel's caught them and they billowed in full sail up into the atmosphere. I did hear on the news that plane had a near miss with a salmon pink object, as it was coming into land at the local airport. I did wonder if it might have been you.

I have just been brought home by the boys in blue. Apparently I was found wrapped up in elastic bands on a mini roundabout and was in such a state of confusion it was only today I could tell them where I lived.I did not drop any of you in it in spite of the cosh and the waterboarding.
The worst job they had with me was getting the corsets off so they could make me comfortable on the wooden plank bed.
After that experience I am certainly not letting you organize my 90th. I will take charge of that myself?

Although....? Will the rolls of fat on display look better than underwear?
Has anyone seen my hair rollers btw ( I saw that little devil Geronimo making off with one of them in his tiny jaws)

Ok, fine - we'll dispense with the underwear if it's causing offence in some quarters! Might be cooler anyway...

Right...thats it ! I have had enough of you lot from the Argybargy cafe. For a start, you have not received planning permission for that tacky sign.
Also, last night the noise was unbelievable ...it kept the whole street awake.
You really have taken down the tone of the neighbourhood.
I noticed several of you laying prone on the pavement at some ungodly hour...and far too much underwear on display !
I think you should all take up crochet and give up the demon drink.
Failing that ... I shall have no option but to join you.

Was that Annsixty on the lawn of Green Gables? Flippineck! I passed her on my way home at half six this morning and wondered who could be out at that time day; lying on the grass with a pair of knickers on their head and roller boots on.

On the front lawn of Green Gables, the big house on the corner

Well, I can't help being late. I couldn't find a rope to tie * Anne* to the golf trolley, so I used my knicker elastic ? Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure where she has landed. How was I to know the elastic would act like a catapult?. Has anyone seen Anne?

Well! Oh what a night!
Must have been a good one, because after singing Happy Birthday to an empty room......I remember nothing! ??
Hope that Ann realises all the trouble we took to make it memorable ( to somebody ) haha.

Back to normal now, or what passes for normal in any GN bar/ cafe,
My usual please Chewy if you are behind the bar tonight?

Oh my head! What on earth was in my drink last night? My head feels like an empty bucket with somebody bashing the outside of it with a mallet. Never again. Hope it was all worth it ann and you had a night to remember I won't forget it, that's for sure .

Well, I did my best but after my usual pint of brandy I nodded off waiting for ann's arrival - goodness knows where Marydoll got to!

Probably went to a different venue entirely...

I hope you had a good evening Ann, by the time I broke out of the cellar I was a bit under the weather, as it were, and I missed out on the food but I remember seeing a lot of ladies under the table so I guess it was a success

My DH's electric golf trolley is fully charged, I'll come and get you Anne. I just need some strong rope to tie you to it. Just in case you fall off. Best to put on a crash helmet and some knee pads, just in case.