Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Sorry I'm late arriving at the cafe. I'm having IT issues. Can anyone join in? Any gin in a storm will do me! I'm worried I have missed all the fun. Is it OK to wear my tweed skirt, fake pearls and twinset. it is all I ever wear, otherwise I will have to come in my liberty bodice and granny knickers.

I have had a G&T, half a bottle of Villa Maria with the salmon and about to have a Bacardi & Coke, Not my usual tipple but it is left over from something.
I am very very relaxed.

Ooh absolutely delighted. I don't often get the opportunity.??

PPS Wee Willy and his balloons are due at 7.30 ...Ann60 can you make him welcome if I'm not around and give him a helping hand if need be

The homemade gin is behind the bar in a soup tureen complete with ladle. Help yourself. I did try putting it in a bucket but it started to dissolve.

PS the tureen originally had a pattern on it.

Hidden talents Jane thank goodness.

Thanks for the warning roses I'm braced!

POGS was a star turn Jane but it's an art you know and she has to pace herself.
Wind is expected later though, as Bo has eaten at least 15 pickled eggs to my certain knowlege!

There was a young man from Capri
Who tried to pee over a tree
The tree was too high
And it fell in his eye
And now the poor bugger can't see.

Anything long, cold and very strong please. Just a quick one before I water the poor thirsty plants.

Be back later.

ansixty I never suspected that you harboured such a treasure trove of limericks. u
I'm off to the Ladies. There's s bound to be a lot of the usual customers there. Two or three of you in tears and friends telling you 'he's not worth it' and wiping away the mascara.
It often gets messy. Thank God that farting woman has run out of steam.

There was a young lady from Tottenham
Any manners she had she'd forgotten 'em
At tea at the Vicars
She took of her knickers
And said Oh that's good I was 'ot in 'em.

That's the chap. Thankyou.

feetlebaum? Sadly missed.

Please will someone remind me of the name of a former member , sadly gone to the great orchestra in the sky. He was a former musician, lived in the Home Counties and had been married a couple of times.
He was great with the limericks.

I hope you won't be clutching those pearls Galen, although you may be when Wee Willie Harris gets here, have you seen his act before?

Phew! what a scorcher! Nice and cool in here though, so I will have a swift half (of poteen) with lime and ice cubes please barkeep.
Nothing to eat (as yet) but in an hour or two I will be back for t'pies ( tripe and onion tonight!) The leek and black pudding ones are pretty good also, if you haven't tried them.
Now, a contribution to the limericks, but I see it has already been done ( but in a different way)
There was a young woman from Devizes,
Who had breasts of differing sizes,
One was small, hardly nothing at all,
The other was big and won prizes!

Have you any of that rotgut brew Pete used to make?
Found it the only thing that helped my arthritis.
Better than any painkiller quack prescribes.
Have to remember to take socks off first though, it dissolves them.

Well, I've just finished my large G&T so is it OK for me to slope in occasionally? I can't remember filthy jokes but I'm very experienced at pouring drinks and Lilwill give me a reference.
Anyway, someone's got to keep their eye on ann60, she's got a powerful thirst!

That hash brown was good. I wasn't keen on those I had at the Travelodge with my scrambled eggs but this tasted different somehow.

Galen, stop leaning over my pitcher of Pete's Piddle with those pearls dangling. It's strong stuff and it's already dissolved that old half crown I was trying to land in the honesty box.

What time's Wee Willie coming out on? I'm getting dizzy blowing all these balloons up for him.

dont knit- havent
seen a twinset since 1969
can only swear in 3 languages(one nobody understands)
only do cake if someone gives it to me
gave all my pearls away
they look funny with black sabbath t-shirts
do have pets or they have me
all rescued from the street

That's late!
By the way I don't knit, haven't any pets and hate cake!
I can swear in 4 languages and I'm sorry but I do like pearls!
I haven't any twinsets either.

pink gin will match my cake

Home-made gin and hash browns are for the Argy-bargies only - no sharing!

Not sure about offering it to the Soops kitcheners wouldn't that be crossing threads or illegal thread trading or something?