The gift of a child V. the 'Gift' of a mobile phone.

Can I be devil's advocate here? Don't know why I'm asking, I'm going to be anyway.

Just this: it's not clear how long the episode described in the OP was. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour? Something like that, I imagine. So a short period in a child's and mother's lives was observed. How do we know that the mother wasn't exhausted from the child's demands that day so far (we've all been there, haven't we?) and just needed some head space for herself for a little while? Perhaps she took him to the beach so he could play without pestering her. Who knows? Children can look sunburned when they are just hot.

I have seen the phenomenon of mothers apparently glued to their mobile phone screens while with, but not with IYSWIM, their child or children, but I wouldn't say it was true of most parents. My observations suggest it is the exception rather than the rule and, as others have already pointed out, there has always been poor parenting. In the past, kids were told to go and play outside. Admittedly they were often with other kids but they weren't supervised by or taken notice of by an adult all the time.

My own parents trusted my eldest brother and me to look after our three younger siblings when we were running about the fields near our home when brother would be eleven or twelve and I'd be a year younger than him.

I bet that would go down like a lead balloon Chloret1

I get that your post was probably sarcastic, but still made me smile.

That would be a brave person Chloret1. There are some on MN, not all, who are of the opinion that grandmothers should be seen and not heard I remember reading one poster over there, commenting that she was sick to death of retirees cluttering up the high street on Saturdays when they had all week to do their shopping. Ooh they can be savage at times

Why don't you start a thread on Mumsnet? You could explain that the combined wisdom of Gransnet is that children are being neglected. Share the benefit of your wisdom. I'm sure that they would appreciate it. It's so sad, all these neglectful parent. And so many estranged grandparents. They could do a better job in raising their grandchildren. Why not do it?

I blame bl**dy Facebook ! The constant need for some people (probably mostly young women) to see what's going on and who is saying what, to whom? As if their life depended on being in the loop at all times. Pathetic.

I wish I could transport this thread to Mumsnet. Not all parents are like this but so many are and it breaks my heart to see little ones being ignored.

It's sad I agree, that awe and wonder stage doesn't last very long and those parents won't get it back, their children will just morph into bored teenagers, smaller versions of them, also fixated by their phones. When the parents want their attention they won't get it either. What goes around comes around. I remember being in the pet section of a large garden centre, little boy absolutely transfixed by some of the beautiful tropical fish, kept running up to his mother with "mum just look at these fish" she couldn't be bothered, looking up, answering him or getting off her phone either. I believe there are notices in school playgrounds "please get off your phones" aimed at the parents picking up, not the children

Looking at pictures of celebs there never seems to be one where a phone isn't in their hand.What are they waiting for?.Even at events where they are in evening dress the phone seems to be stuck to their hand.

I agree it's terrible seeing parents transfixed by their phones and ignoring their young children.
But I seem to remember that in the 1950s and 60s, it was normal to put toddlers in a playpen, or strap them into their pram and park them outside, leaving them to cry because "it was good for them to exercise their lungs!" Older children were sent outside to play for hours or expected to play in their bedroom. This was so that Mother could get on with the washing, ironing, baking, cleaning which seemed to fill their lives. (Not everyone's of course). All normal child-rearing habits.

That's true - families these days never cook for their children... No wonder there is such a divide between generations with such judgemental attitudes being bandied around. Get a grip.

But that would involve the very arduous task of cooking...........

In a pub restaurant recently I saw a family where the parents were absorbed on their mobiles and the two young children sat in front of their tablets watching cartoons! Bit my tongue hard but obviously amongst many critical comments I could make thought why go out and spend money. You could stay at home and ignore each other?

I agree, you see this all the time. Women (why is it usually women?) walking along with their children lagging miles behind them. Anything could happen to the children and Mum would never know until she closes off her 'phone and looks behind. Little Johnny could be under a bus, grabbed by a paedophile or gone the wrong way but she would never know because Facebook comes first. What is it on these forums that could be more important than looking after your children? Do not have them if you cannot be bothered with them.

Parents ignoring their children is not new. I remember parents taking their children to the park/beach/cafe and sit reading a newspaper/magazine/book or talking to other adults whilst their children were told to go and play or sit silently and not to interrupt. Woe betide any child who actually pestered their parents to notice what they were doing. The media used may have changed but nothing else.

I know exactly what you mean OP. Children learn about the world around them when out in a buggy, "Look at that cat/doggie, see the big red bus?" etc, etc.
They're missing out on all that. I see parents collecting small children from nursery (which shares a school campus) and many kids are totally ignored because the parent would rather play with their phone. I saw a school child making sure the younger sibling didn't walk into a car during pick-up, parent blissfully unaware. It's manic at around 4.30 - an accident waiting to happen.
A poster was put up by the door - Greet your child with a smile, not a mobile. I couldn't agree more - social skills are sadly lacking. Maybe today's youngsters will turn against it and behave differently.

Totally agree with Rocketstop, I feel sorry for some children these days, we have some Mums walking past our home, with babies in a pram in front of them and totally absorbed in their mobile while the child just sits there looking around, then they wonder why their speech hasnt developed early!
Another thing, yes people out walking/jogging, listening to music in their earphones, why dont they listen to the birds and other sounds around them, in the country, or in a City be aware of the traffic, bikes coming along after you ringing their bells, what a lot they miss these days, and the poor children not getting enough stimulance.Mobiles are wonderful when used in the right context.Enough ranting!

It's a worry to me too. My daughter doesn't do this, but many do. One of the schools sent out a notice saying you should be glad to see your child so stopping looking at your phones. I see mums pushing babies in buggies. Instead of engaging with their baby, they're staring down at their phones.

Some interesting points made here.
I certainly didn't mean that it is ALL Mothers or indeed that all older people are more knowledgeable, what I meant was that as you GET older, you realise time with children is short, I'm sure we have all been guilty at one stage or another of not always 'Being in the moment' as our children were growing up. Obviously children cannot have our attention the whole time, that would be as bad as having none at all, BUT I still can't get my head around being glued to the screen and totally ignoring him.
Hubby and I were talking loudly about his face and not being nasty, we just said 'Sometimes you don't realise how fierce the sun is and even the wind can burn' but she wouldn't have SEEN he was sunburnt cos she didn't look up.
I agree also with Janetblogs, that if you are attached to your phone, how can you take in the world around you, you miss so much, for us at the coast that day, the Mother was missing out on the sea, seabirds, boats, caves, a glider, all of which would have been fun to point out to the boy. It's so sad.

Children learn to talk, and reason, mainly by imitation, so if no-one speaks to them they'll be language delayed. Which leads to other educational problems.

Strangley we have a thread discussing the need for Mental Health workers in schools, may i dare suggest that these poor children need to talk to a stranger because their Mothers dont even know the children exist at times and like that little boy on the beach in the OP they never had attention when growing up ?

This addiction us worrying my grandchildren are time limited to whilst son is having a shower before school and 15 mins after school and that's it -
Listened to a young mother of an about 2 year old and she was asked why she wasn't talking to him
Her reply "well he doesn't talk to me so I don't talk to him!"
Why is it necessary to wear earphones to walk in the country
When I take my furry friend out yes I take my phone - in case of an emergency but happily haven't had to use it - there's bird song other walkers to chat to the forest to explore
Sorry get carried away by the lack of awareness that these people have for life around them

rocketstop know exactly what you mean! I suppose poor parents have been around forever, but this addiction to phones rather than their children when out and about ( and maybe at home too) is something new and alarming.

I don't think bad parenting is limited to today's parents. I also don't think being older automatically means that you are more knowledgeable - I certainly wouldn't suggest that to someone younger than me. That said, it doesn't sound as though her actions were to be desired.

So very sad

Less good parents can always find ways to not interact with her children. My MiL was a reception class teacher and I can rmemeber her talking about children starting school who had, in her words, been talked at, talked over and talked through but never talked to. As a result they started school with minimal verbal skills and a limited vocabulary. This was in the 1970s.