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Wedding gift

(10 Posts)
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nellgwin Sat 06-May-17 14:15:03

I belong to a choir and a senior member is shortley getting married.
A member organised a collection for a wedding present and we all gladly contributed between £5 and £10, which ever we could afford.
quite a lot of money was collected and the organiser who is a friend of mine set about sourcing a present.
Now we have all received an e mail explaining that on the advise of another member she had ordered a gift far more expensive then she had collected for ( £50 ) and is asking those who contributed £5 to now contribute a further £5.
I feel extremely annoyed by this request as the organiser should have bought a gift appropriate to the amount of money collected. if she doesn't receive the extra money she will have to foot the bill herself.
My question is, do I say nothing or do I risk upsetting her.
I paid the full amount £10 so am not affected by it but another friend is worrying as she is on a very restricted budget. HELP!hmm

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tanith Sat 06-May-17 16:01:51

It was her choice to overspend so her problem in my book

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NanaandGrampy Sat 06-May-17 16:05:15

I've never heard of anything so rude. The collection was made according to what people wished to pay. Any overspend is totally down to the organiser I'm afraid .

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rosesarered Sat 06-May-17 16:10:08

I agree with the others.This was wrong, people have given what they can afford and she has overspent the budget!

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vampirequeen Sat 06-May-17 16:46:11

She should have chosen something within budget. Her problem and it's wrong that she's asked for more.

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Deedaa Sun 07-May-17 20:13:36

I don't see any problem with anyone who gave less than £10 saying that unfortunately they gave as much as their budget could stretch to. The organiser is left without a leg to stand on.

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nellgwin Thu 11-May-17 18:15:18

I've spoken to a fellow choir member who feels exactly the same as me, but won't say anything so as not to upset other members, so as no one else is going to say anything to the organiser, I don't think I'm going to put my finger in the ? and cause upset.
Still not happy though.,?

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M0nica Thu 11-May-17 19:54:35

I would always say something. There may be choir members for whom the £5 was a struggle and a demand for another £5, may cause them to leave the choir because they cannot afford it. If the word got out, you may find it difficult to recruit new members.

As far as I am concerned, I would never go along with something like this.

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Chewbacca Thu 11-May-17 20:58:42

The person who collected the donations knew what her budget was when she went off to look for a gift. If she decided to blow the budget, that was her decision, and hers alone. She has no comeback now to ask for additional money from anyone. If, on the other hand, she had already seen a suitable gift, and knew what it would cost, she would have been able to ask for the appropriate donations from everyone to cover the cost. But she didn’t do that. And she should now just suck it up. I would definitely not give more.

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Hilltopgran Fri 12-May-17 10:28:56

What tactless thing to do, a collection is just that, if the organiser chooses to spend more she can make it known but not ask for more from those unable to afford more.
As you are not affected by the request for extra, you could tell the organiser in a nice way the problem and distress it is causing for less well off members, otherwise the gift should be returned or exchanged for something within budget. Someone has to be honest and say, people are members of a choir to sing, those being less well off should not be made to feel bad. Life has taught me not to ignore what is wrong, so personally I would speak up.

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