I`m not going to pass away

Mariank you took my words I was just going to say I can't stand these 'fur babies going over the rainbow bridge' drives me nuts hearing that and on FB if someone mention their cat or dog dying you get reams of these sorry for you loss and rainbow bridges and special little fur babies ....they re animals special maybe but not babies and they don't go over rainbows
I don't like the 'fell asleep ' bit worse than passing or lost .....but like most on here I will die

I did think about putting the dead parrot sketch on, but I decided I'd obviously upset enough people

That's the spirit, ana

x posts...

I think I'll just kick the bucket, pop my clogs, turn up my toes and be carried out of this house feet forward!

(no offence...)

I think two basic tenets have arisen from this thread:

1. People can use whichever word or phrase that they want to use to say someone has died.

2. In appropriate circumstances like an online thread that is specifically started to talk about it, people can say which of the above irritates them.

That covers everyone's preferences except for those of the word police who want to restrict what others are allowed to say in case someone, somewhere, for no reason whatsoever except to whinge, decides to take offence. Those preferences are uncoverable because the goalposts keep being moved.

Dizzygran , my mum and dads friends talked about their lost son. He had gone travelling and was never seen again! He really was lost.

I too have been annoyed by this recently. I have even commented to my local radio about their use of 'passed' instead of 'died'.
I can go along with 'sorry for your loss', but not "I have lost XX".
If someone wants to use any term about their own bereavement, I will go along with it. It is the general reference I dislike.
When I die, I will be dead.

Not to bother by passed away etc, but really want to slap someone when people talk about their dead pets as having 'passed over the rainbow bridge' Nor do I like any of those quotes along the lines of 'feathers appear when angels are near' !!

Hi Rascal, just wondered how you know for certain that when someone dies "they don't go anywhere else"? I agree with you that it's final for the body, but I think this world is far too mysterious for any of us to be so sure that there isn't some essence of us that continues. I'm not keen either on the phrase "passed away": I prefer " moved on to another dimension"!

The hebrew word is "niftar" from a verb that means "take one's leave", which is a bit of a euphemism, but quite apt. Like "back to the pavilion", or "cash in one's chips".
And french use "décedé" deceased, for humans, "mort", dead, for animals

I don't think it really matters. If it gives comfort to someone then that's all that matters, isn't it.
But one does stand out in my mind, - A few years ago a friend phoned me to tell me that a mutual friend had died. But she shouted down the phone at me "Halleluia, she's gone to the Lord". I rather like that.

Anniebach, I agree with you. It really does not matter what someone wants to call death. Yes you did lose your babies, yes you did lose your husband.

Of course it's a debate, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but let's have respect for those who do want to use those terms. Everyone can have their own beliefs.

If someone wants to say passed away, or that they have lost someone, please respect its just a word. Think about how the person must be feeling. My mother said, bring me flowers when I am alive, not when I am gone.

I remember being startled when a colleague glumly told me 'I buried my Dad yesterday.' My first thought was 'how did he feel about that?' Then I realised what she meant but it seemed a very odd way of putting it.

Hope you don't mind if I pinch your 'click & collect' phrase radicalnan. It describes my plans nicely.

I think I might very well 'pass away' and I hope it is a gentle 'passing' preferably in my sleep.
If I 'pass away' before my loved ones I think that they may well feel a great 'loss'.

I always wonder what they passed as in a game of "pass the parcel"

It is a personal issue.no right or wrong way of saying it.Don't how ever go along with the term 'Popped their clogs' which I overheard one person use describing their late brother's demise.

Passed away suggest they can come back.
In The Salvaion Army we say that someone has been 'Promoted to Glory'

I too prefer died which is what I said to people when my DH died. He would always say of some-one who had died that "they were playing for the whites" but then again he was a football fan. He would not have said that to any-one outside of the family. Saying I had lost my DH would have amused me as it implies "waylaid" which I had not & it would have caused me amusement too, sorry it's my sense of humour.

As for flowers, my preference would be for a nice wreath, not one spelling "Mum" or anything else. Each to their own.

I read some books set in Botswana and was impressed by the seeming gentleness and courtesy of life there. Evidently the term used is 'Late'. That seemed a dignified expression for one who had died, but in any event however you dress it up, any word is going to be painful to the bereaved.

I plan to live forever (so far, so good).

I loathe euphemisms for death. My mother's side of the family were big on them, and hadwhat I consider to be an unhealthy attitude to death, not letting children go to grandparents funerals and refusing to speak about the person who had died.

A phrase that makes me want to vomit is "earned their angel wings". Just no. But then I do feel that the British attitude to death and mourning in general is weird. I'm hugely practical and have had robust discussions about my death, funeral, and wishes relating to them.

My dad died last year aged 95 so he'd had a good long life. Many people said they were sorry that I'd lost him, I would smile and say thank you but I wanted to say " he died, I didn't accidentally leave him somewhere " . I know they were being kind but it sort of insinuated that it was my fault lol