What weird phrases do you use?

If the wind was particularly strong my father used to call it a "lazy wind" - didn't go round you, went right through. If I ever asked how I looked before going out he would say "no-one's going to stop a galloping horse to look at you"

When I complained about my plain looks, my mother used to say, "you'll pass in a crowd". It was no consolation though.
If Dad was going somewhere by himself (a rare occurrence) and we asked where he was going his reply was usually, "to the back of beyond, where they clog ducks".
When asked how long anything is going to take, I've been known to answer "as long as a piece of string".

I like that one nina. Can it be used for either gender as I have someone in mind!

Hells bells and buckets of blood was used a lot in my neck of the woods in my youth.

Mum used to say "Fanny's got 'er 'at on" if someone was voicing a strong opinion.

On very windy days, my dad used to say "it's windy enough to blow the teeth off a saw". I still smile when I think of it.

you're even.

My mother used to say to me " your cheaper to keep a week than a fortnight " I find myself saying this to family if they have splurged on something expensive.

I say "It's like Christmas Day in the workshop" which doesn't mean a thing to anyone else but me - it harks back to when I worked for Caterpillar when I was 19 and often had to go to the huge workshop to ask something or speak to someone on the shop floor, and invariably all the young mechanics would down tools and someone would shout "It's Christmas Day in the workshop" no matter that it was March, or June or any day but Christmas Day ? and we'd all laugh, me a bit shyly. So for me it means happy times and youthful fun.

Daft, I know. But I still say it.

I can think of a great many that my grandparents used, but I don't myself.

The 'dragged through a hedge backwards' one is well-known everywhere, I think.

Angibi, I use that one too! I cant think of any really daft ones i use right now, but no doubt I do.

Angibi use that one all the time

In the supermarket the other day the checkout assistant asked how I was, it had been a very windy day and I said I feel as though I've been dragged through a hedge backwards and he replied I haven't heard that expression in years.