Why oh why?

Sorry to hear about your hip pain. It might be wear and tear, needing a replacement, but it could be something else. eg I have an occasional hip pain after standing which I think is related to a hernia.
My husband knows too much about pooters, he used to have a job repairing them, so I do take him seriously (a bit.) But nowadays, who can keep up?

Thanks for that Stansgran.

The problem with OH and computer is that he reads up loads on it - gets a mag called ComputerActiv and I would love to hurl it in the bin when it arrives! The cover always has some scare story on it. He reads and reads all this stuff which just feeds his anxiety; but can he print a document/look up a bank statement/shop online/ write a document or in short do anything useful on the pooter? - No!

If it's any consolation my husband is the same. I try to ignore it but sometimes it just gets too much. I blow up he apologises but then does exactly the same again. He wants to watch the rugby, he falls asleep, I turn the TV over, he wakes up and moans. I've had both my hips replaced in the last few years, best thing I ever did, was constantly in pain before.

Lucky sorry I meant to say hope you have good news about your hip.

Oh it's men are from mars isn't it? I'm very very annoying in my DH's opinion and I'm sure he's right,except,except I'm generally proved right in the end. DH won't do any banking on line . He hates the computer and only does investing and saving by looking on line and then phoning up. He is a technophobe with good reason. He only has to walk into the room for the pooter to crash. His secretary used to joke about it but I never really believed her. Even his e passport won't work. He always has to take the computer by surprise and make notes before it crashes.

Hang on in there lucky, hope tomorrow is a less painful day all round .

An anxious perfectionist - hmmm. That sounds like hard going! Now how do I know that?

I do wonder whether some men do become more anxious with age (and maybe women too). My OH has always been like this to some degree, but it is truly out of hand now. I feel as though a black cloud is following me around waiting to pronounce doom and gloom!

This is a rant. Feel guilty because it all seems trivial but, added together, it's driving me a bit nuts.
The hearing thing: almost every remark I make to DH is answered by 'huh?' I've now discovered that he's heard what I've said in the first place. Sometimes have to repeat what I've said twice or three times. Makes me give up even attempting conversation
'You've got something on your lip": has happened on numerous occasions. I can be in the middle of telling him something quite important, he stops listening in order to point this out. Drives me nuts. Question is, am I nuts for finding this so annoying?
Constant debates: Nothing is ever straightforward. Never says 'OK, you're right' Always produces counter-argument. It's wearing (and boring) Is this what a contrarian is?

Please offer help. I feel like a complete cow for complaining to him - he definitely is a perfectionist and feels anxious a lot of the time (I suspect - he'd never admit it)

Not a good day today - skype debacle was the last camel that broke the straw's back.

Intermittently the pain in my hip is beyond the pale in a very big way - but thankfully it only happens when I have been standing and start moving again. There is clearly something very wrong. Scan result awaited. I am resigned to the fact that they will want to start again with the hip replacement - I hope I am wrong, but I cannot see how they can leave it like this. There has to be something that has gone amiss.

Luckygirl and merlotgran -
My husband is the same, I suppose it's anxiety, and I'm the opposite. Very slapdash.
He's put some kind of security check on my 'puter which tracks and then blocks any spies who are watching. A big purple list comes up.

A lock on the door where you use your computer.
Poor you Luckygirl
Do feel free to have a moan, rant or whatever. I have done so on GN many times.

I understand how frustrating it can be. I find my OHs habit of talking at me when he has not introduced what he was talking about really difficult. This then ends in him getting very angry when I have to try to establish what/who/where he is on about.

I completely understand the feeling that you have to be strong not to get 'sucked in' Luckygirl. DH's anxiety is nowhere near as bad but at times it drives me mad. I'm a very positive, upbeat person and I could scream when I'm told my lovely, roaring fire that I lit two hours ago is smoking because the chimney needs sweeping.....AGAIN

He winces every time I turn on the car ignition because he's convinced the engine has developed a small rattle. Well it must be miniscule because I can't hear it and I've been tuned into car engines all my adult life and I'm fanatical about checking the oil.

The washing machine isn't 'on the way out' because it has just bounced across the floor on it's final spin. They ALL do that when you put a heavy bath mat in with a couple of shirts and some underwear (guilty)

He has never been the least bit interested in using a pc but if I suck in my breath because I've spotted something alarming in Breaking News or a post on gransnet that I don't agree with I get, 'What's wrong?' but I could howl in agony because I've stubbed my toe on the firegrate and he wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Stay strong, Luckygirl Tell him he's not alone

Add that you plan to go upstairs later, and ask whether you should strap on a parachute in case you trip.

Show him this www.wikihow.com/Use-Skype-Safely and assure him that you have done all of that and more - and would he please butt out and let you get on with talking to DD.

Ana - we have belt and braces on every laptop/computer as you can imagine.

Can't send him off to the shops - he has PD and would not be able to manage that task. Now you will think I am hard-hearted to grumble about him. I know, I know - he's ill. I'm a horrid lady!

Have you got a relative or friend who's tech-savvy and who could possibly persuade your OH that he's mistaken about the bugs? Have you got anti-virus protection on your computer?

Good plan - but this is the only warm room today! I will hide in a corner!

His concern is that the bank details etc./passwords for PayPal and the like will be poached.

Can't you take yourself into a different room and tell him its yours and if you break it be it on your own head.
Or just do it when he's out

Send him off with a list of things to buy - all in different shops miles apart.

I've got my own!!! - he is on my shoulder making sure I only do what he agrees with!!! Help!!

Get your own I couldn't bear anyone telling me what I could and couldn't do on a computer especially if it involved talking to my grandkids

Luckygirl could you get your own laptop/ipad ? Then he can't interfere and you can break if you want

Oh dear - sorry to moan but OH is a very anxious person and I have to fight tooth and nail every day not to get sucked into it - it is surprisingly easy to do so. Something to worry about is all the time being thrust in my face - maybe I should take out my hearing aids!

My OH is not due to start a new job until 13th March due to administration cock ups by GP and DVLA....suddenly he is teaching granny to suck eggs...irony is am 20 years older than him ....how does he think I managed for 50 years till I met him ....moan over decorating the kitchen always a minefield