Why oh why?

I have never used Sjype aa a friend suggested I use Viber, which several of my friends use. I think it is similar and I've never had any problems.

I too live alone so have nobody in the house to tell me what I can and can't do, but my youngest son looks after any computer problems I have. He has been known to moan at me if he thinks it is something I have done which has caused a problem, so I am always wary of trying to sort things out myself. ?

Is there any way you can get an iPhone, even a second hand one, Luckygirl, and use FaceTime instead on it. Much easier than Skype I think. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your DH, you sound such a lovely caring wife to him with such a difficult condition

I stopped using Skype a few years ago. My daughter lives three hours from Perth, Australia. We use the Viber App which you can download to your iPad or phone. It's free to use, we can be on for an hour or more, just chatting. Face to face or just free phone call. Also use FaceTime and Messenger. Hope you can sort out something to help your situation. Good luck with getting your hip sorted too, hope all goes really well for you.

Luckygirl's husband has PD = PARKINSON'S DISEASE which she posted on page 1, and as petra has kindly pointed out above, he is a medical doctor as well.

I am so fed up with people only reading the top posts, then not even quickly checking through to see if the original poster has provided any further information. No obligation to read everyone else's posts if that's too time consuming. But if crunched for time, at least check through for any by the OP. Not doing so can be so hurtful to them.

to all those who bothered, and sour grapes to those who told Luckygirl to tell her husband where to hypothetically stick it! It only takes an extra minute to sit on your hands to be considerate before your fingers type the first mis-thoughts out of your heads!

Oh Ladies, thank you so much. Now I know I am not alone. DH drives me mad at times. He is a very kind man but so deaf and set in his ways. Thank goodness he is still working . What will I do when he has to give up work ? Any suggestions?

If I remember correctly, Luckygirl's DH is a retired GP.

I don't think you've quite got the gist of this thread, Shazmo24 as you clearly haven't read it properly.

If my OH tried that with me I'd tell him where to go...stand up to him and tell him to butt out...sounds as though he's paranoid so maybe a visit to GP might help to see if he's suffering from some sort of mental illness (anxiety etc)

I hope things improve for you, Luckygirl and well done Petra for clarifying things. Lucky is indeed a luckygirl, having you as a friend.
I thought I was au fait with all this through my job. However,yesterday I learned something new and interesting about passwords. It is now being suggested by some cyber security experts, that the most secure passwords are not a combination of letters, numbers and symbols, but three random words joined together. It seems that this type of password is more difficult to break by hackers. The downside is that some sites cannot accommodate password format.
www.cyberaware.gov.uk/blog/passwords-%E2%80%93-why-three-random-words

Thanks for all the thoughts and ideas; and special thanks to petra who brought a tear to my eye with her accurate and thoughtful summary of life chez nous.

There will be a way round this that solves my problem but also treats him with respect; and all these ideas will take me a step nearer to that solution. So many thanks.

Why don't you do a Messenger Video call!? I gave up on Skype , a Messenger video call is much easier and you do it on your mobile phone!!
?

I have an IPad, its mine, just mine, with a passcode. OH has the same and we share a laptop. I do all my banking etc on the IPAD and have been using Skype for goodness how many years to keep in touch with the family when away for the winter. So I would either tell the OH, illness or no illness, to butt out and stop telling you what to do or even better get your own IPAD stick a passcode on it so only you can use it and Skype away to your hearts content. Good luck

I'm speaking up for lucky here ( and she can tell me it's non of my business if she wants) but she won't, because she's a very nice person who wouldn't tell you people who keep telling her how to deal with her Husband.
Her husband is a retired Doctor who probably knows more than most what's going to happen to him. Between them they have raised 3 successful daughters. he isn't a nasty controlling male he's very ill, and he knows it.
Enough with the ' tell him to do one'

Re the computer, I think you have 5 alternatives:.
1. Get a good antivirus programme like AVG, turn everything on and tell OH that if anyone gets through that, they're capable of hacking far more profitable computers than yours.
2. take all confidential stuff like bank accounts off the computer then there's no way anyone can hack them.
3. you could just challenge him that he's being over-anxious and perhaps would benefit from talking to a counsellor.
4. live with the frustration
5. just do it anyway.
Best of luck.

That was good advice showing you the link to Skype and safety points. I just read it. Thanks who ever did it. I d get a very cheap basic tablet( get shop advice) that takes Skype. Make a new e mail address , and use it for Skype only. Do nothing else with this address, making sure ur password is strong. Then there are no other accounts anyone could get into via Skype. Stick to your guns! Make an appointment with a guru at e.g. Apple shop, take your husband with you, explain u want a cheap tablet or pad purely for Skype , buy one there, then get them to set it up for you safely . It's so wonderful to Skype family.

How DARE he tell you that you can't talk to your DD!!! Poke him in the eye and tell him you ll do exactly as you please!!!!

We have a computer each in different rooms, I dont have a laptop,DH sometimes come in to me and looks at what I am doing on it, as I always have my back to the door to use my computer, its quite annoying, I have no secrets or look at any " forbidden sites" but he is a control freak, as I have mentioned before, one thing my Son has done for me, is to put a password on my computer, so that only I can access it, one way the control freak, cant have control. Sounds mean I know, but it ithe only way.Can Luckygirl do the same for her laptop!

When Banks and accounts are concerned I think you should be very, very careful what you put on-line. Accounts can be cleared in seconds.

When it comes to shopping how many times do you give your details? Someone somewhere will always be watching so the internet is not safe. Pictures of children on facebook horrify me. Don't people realise that if they have no security these can be copied and shared around?

Flowerofthewest :-) Short and sweet but straight to the point! I agree with you. Wish I had said that.

I'm sorry about your painful hip Luckygirl but honestly I couldn't stand being told what to do or not do by my husband. That is cruel and controlling to stop you Skyping your DD.

Luckygirl - I forgot your hip pain was AFTER a hip op. I hope you find out soon, and it's not the op. that's causing it.
And your husband has PD! Getting older is no joke.

Thanks for all the ideas - I am sorting though them.

He is an intelligent and kind man whose behaviour and thoughts have been taken over by this b**** disease. I was very exasperated by it yesterday as you could probably tell! On top of the hip problem it felt like too much.

Today is a better day - the sun is shining; wee GD is here with us for the day and we have been out hunting down (and finding!) snowdrops.

Arrgh the hearing thing ! My DH should wear hearing aids in both ears , however he only ever wears one if I'm lucky . Sometimes I can hear every word of the TV when I'm upstairs and when I come down say "do you really need it so loud ?" Reply- "I haven't got my hearing aid in " WHY NOT ??
And why does he need to watch the news every hour on the hour ??

This all seems so familiar. I have my own pass worded PC and tablet and do what I like with no interference. I think it is a man thing. They always think they know better. As part of my job, I was responsible for over a 100 PCs, printers, smart boards, software, phones, internet security etc in my school, yet my husband refuses to listen to my advice. He will wait until one of my children come up. Last week we had a power cut, router would not work, no printers etc. He spent hours trying to get it working. I fixed it in five minutes. We got a new boiler on Friday. Gas engineer asked who would take charge of the HIVE. He said that was his job. After two days of freezing, I download the App to my tablet and phone. Now I am in charge and warm. You just have to be creative to get one up on them. That's how I have managed to survive the last 40 yaers married to someone who is always right.

I really do think the computer magazine has a lot to answer for and must make his anxiety worse. I think men are worse than women for honing in on an article they read and taking it as gospel. Perhaps when it comes time for renewal you can forget to renew it. No, you are not a bad person, Lucky, because you are complaining about your DH who has PD. We are only human and you have a valid complaint.

Luckygirl sometimes you just have to blow your top and remind them not to treat you as an adult not a child. You should not have to hide in the corner.