Violent relationships

The idea that you need an exorcism sums up perfectly how they stay in your head even after you escape. Control isn't always physical. They work on your mind until, in the end, you do a lot of their work for them because it's safer to behave in ways you think they'll approve off. Of course now we've escaped we know we can never do that because they constantly move the goalposts.

I believe talking about this is theraputic and important Nojharcar. A common scenaro (the one I was in 10 yrs ago) is that 'no one will believe me if I tell them, because after all he (or she) was/still is a pillar in society - a lovely person'.

For me the police were not helpful ('domestic'). The most practical support came from women's groups.
You (and I) are now distanced physically from the relationship but unfortunately these 'bogey men' have a way of never leaving your head.

I think there's more practical help out there now, therapy being one positive step towards an exorcism. Talking here could be very supportive The knowledge that 'I'm not the only one', that others have been there and we've all survived. I apologise if I'm not coming across as very coherent, this is a subject I find very hard to express. Yes, let's keep talking about it - none of us are alone

Thank you all for replying. I am so privileged to know that there is support that I can call on and can hopefully help others too.
I have been offered private help and I do so much appreciate that.
When I left the abusive marriage I was in, Womens Aid was in it's infancy locally (1976) but for me it was the lifeline I needed.
After much struggle over years I extricated myself from the relationship. I have been counselled through this but every so often a situation arises within my family that just brings it back to me...I am now speaking to a counsellor about the latest situation to enable me to help my adult children to be successful survivors too.Thank you all and lets keep talking xx

Me too about 40 years ago I then trained to work in an abuse centre, prefer private messages for detailed messages
Quite a few of us on here

Gransnet at its best! I do hope that the support you receive here will help you to move on Nojharcar.

I'm a survivor too...and am willing to give you any support I can

Me too, 40+ years ago. I would prefer a private message.

I left a violent relationship about 40 years ago. You can contact me by private message or on here
SPF

I escaped from an abusive relationship over 10 years ago. Happy to talk on here or by private message. Whichever you prefer.