Back handed compliments

misadventure you are a funny lady ! some crackers on this thread , I have tears from laughing .

When I went to my DB's 1st wedding, I'd had a massive rush to get there getting my 3 young children and myself ready and leaving another ( sick child) with relatives. My mother saw me arriving and walked past me. I called her, "Oh sorry I didn't recognise you, you look nice"
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Whilst looking at some of mine & my hubbys holiday photos my mil asked who is this (it was me I was wearing shorts a hat & sunglasses) when my hubby replied its Jen mil said "oh I am surprised I didn't think your bum was as big as that"

I was in the maternity hospital in 1970 the day after daughter born. MIL visited and said "what a beautiful baby" and turning to me - "you have surprised me !" That's right, we never got on.

I went to show my late MIL the outfit that I'd bought for DS's wedding (plain skirt and vest top, with an over-coat in toning swirly-patterned chiffon). She took one look and said, 'Oh Sue, it's really you - big and bold..!' She was the kindest - and most tactless - of women, and the phrase has gone into our family sayings and is a lovely memory of her.

When I was teaching years ago a student said to me after the lesson : I've got a dress a bit like that - you can have it if you like that sort of thing as I don't like it! I declined the offer.

I have a 'thing' about my face now! My mother always said to me " your hair looks lovely at the back" presumably my face spoilt the view from the front. Not long after my mother died my father said "you don't look a bit like your mum, she had a lovely face" Oh dear!

All really funny!

My mother, being shown a new top by a friend asked thoughtfully 'Does it suit you?'
A friend of mine was being divorced and visited with her boyfriend, a mild young man. Mother positively chortled ''You, cited as a co-respondent, Roger? What a joke!'

Last weekend I read a poem I'd written to teenage GDs. Older one said 'Did YOU write that?' Her younger sister said disappointedly 'Oh, I thought it was a proper poem!'

When I was about 30, I tried on my new coat for my mum. She said "it makes you look bigger than ever". I was about a size 12/14 then and I've never worked out what she meant.

My husband to be once said to me I don't know why I fancy you rotten, you're not exactly Brigit Bardot are you! I replied well your not exactly Paul Newman. We are still together, married a long time!!!

First, let me say how much these posts have made me laugh.

My DMil was great at doing this. She told my DD to hurry up and get a boyfriend as she wanted to still be alive to come to the wedding -she was about 14 at the time. DD said she wouldn't have a big, white wedding anyway to which Mil replied, you'll be alright you will have lost weight by then.

Also, I was out with her when we saw an old school friend of my DH who she hadn't seen since he was young. When I explained who he was she said 'Sorry, I didn't recognise you as your ears don't stick out as much now your head has got bigger.

I must stress she was a lovely lady but just didn't always put here brain in gear before she opened her mouth.

I went to uni late. I was 27 and a young man showed an interest. I knew he was only first year, age 18, so I made a point of saying I was almost 10 years late starting uni.

Really? he said... You don't look over 25 and I like older women.

Burst out laughing... as I was the one who didn't want to rob the 'emotional' cradle. In the US he could not even drink yet!

I was once told that I was quiet until I opened my mouth!

The man I was keyworker to, who had a learning disability greeted me one morning with "You look lovely today - almost human!"

This from my own Mum, when I was, as a teenager, trying to grow my hair,
" You don't have a face for long hair"

Then when I tried it curly,
" You don't have a curly face"

I was running out of options, Paper bag ?

When contemplating whether or not to go swimming (overweight and tummy conscious) I was trying swimsuit on and looking in a mirror. My then 9 year old DD looked at me and said 'I looks fine mummy' I turned to thank her when she said 'Anyway, fat people should haven too'

I'd always bathed in the pleasure of my 3 year old DGD saying to me, at her mummy's wedding, "Grandma you look stunning."

8 years later we were walking together when she turned to me saying "Grandma, when I said at mummy's wedding that you looking stunning....I didn't mean it!'

My favourite left field compliment came from DGD. age 6. 'Nan, I expect when you die a lot of people will miss you'.

I was once told by a man I was dancing with that I looked like Shirley Williams, the MP. I must say that I wasn't very pleased, as I don't look like her, but he was quite drunk at the time. The following week I was waiting in the queue to be served at the bar, he came up to me and said, "Oh, now I've got a good look at you, you don't look much like Shirley Williams". I felt a bit better about it. Then added "She's much better looking than you".
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On a rare visit to a great-aunt, who I had not seen for many years, she told me, " oh you've improved. You were a very plain child "

As head of the infants department of our school, I was taking new parents on a tour of our facilities. One mother asked which teachers would be teaching the two new kindergarten classes. I replied that they would be taken by Mrs A and myself ( we were both in our early forties). "Oh" she said, "I was hoping they would be taken by someone young and enthusiastic!"

A man once said to me "You've made a happy man very old."

Jane10 Your dad's comment reminded me of that line in Absolutely Fabulous where Edina says that inside her there is a thin woman striving to get out, to which her mum replies "Just the one dear?"

My mother once told me how awful she felt when my father told her, 'You're quite nce looking. What a pity about your ankles.'

Whatever was wrong with them I realised I had the same ankles so my dad got two of us with the same remark.

Still, I have worked out since then that the ankles were the least of it so that's put it all in perspective!

At the swimming pool DGS aged 6, gave me a great big hug around the thighs and said 'Oh Grandma I love you legs, they're just like a lovely, soft, squashy sofa'. I'm sure it was meant as a compliment!