I am contemplating ways to kill Grampy...... input welcome !!

This is an absolutely awful and really evil thread ...and I love it. I have a dossier of ideas and also lots of incriminating evidence and be sure I will track you down.. If I haven't used your idea first.

Gilly bob...FABULOUS IDEA!!...count me in!!!!

Ha Ha!!! Hilarious...we've all been tempted...i'm certain!!!
Not sure men are worth a prison sentence though!
Love this ...best laugh i've had all month!!!

There are an awful lots of posts about this!!

Laburnum seeds would do the trick but don't cook them first, best served raw. Not effective if cooked.

DD1 regularly expects to find her father under the patio but not really feasible, overlooked by neighbours.

I have to confess to almost stabbing my former husband - he was such an all round evil bar steward, he really deserved a carving knife through the vitals!
Anyway, it seemed easier and less complicated to leave him, which I did. I still have nightmares about him over thirty years later.

I'm so glad now that I have no OH, only a 'gentleman friend', who is a real sweetheart. Even he drives me nuts sometimes, tho' - I think men are just naturally rather irritating!

Extract nicotine from cigarettes and concentrate. Absorbed through the skin and fatal
Socrates found hemlock worked

When my mentally and physically abusive ex was in full swing I'd spit in his tea and seriously thought of paraquat as there is no antidote

I am posting then stansgran say no more ?

Shysal, that's so naughty! Made me laugh out loud though ?

Ha! some very good ideas on here ...in my case my OH is doing the job quite well himself ....so far he has fallen off a ladder trimming the willow tree ......I just paid someone to do it, but it was not right ....as usual ! He has taken one eye out by 'repairing' the unbroken garage door ......he has glass in his eye as well by throwing the gas fire through the patio door in a temper .......it won't be long .......and he hasn't got a funeral plan which is the main bugbear for me ....bah humbug ! Never be able to afford those star gazer lillies (don't you just hate that ad !) .......the other night he went out in minus 6 temperature to look for the cat ,,,,,and without a coat ,,he is 84 .....I simply went and got a photo to show the police in the morning ....but he came back !!!! aw shucks ! next time, next time .....

Would I do such a thing annifrance? Love the story of OH missing the loo though, we'll have to negotiate a bribe !!!

I know of a lady who took revenge on her hubby by dipping his soap-on-a-rope down the toilet. This was years ago, I don't think they make this type of soap now.

I had washed and dried my hair and it looked fine. DH asked me to help him carry box into garage other side if patio. Wind blew me and my newly coiffed hair to bits with the observation from DH, your hair looks a mess, does it need washing. Needless to say my end of the box was dropped, pity he wasn't underneath. Grrr. Men.

Great ideas. Don't mess with us Grans!

DH knows that his demise will be something to do with the freezer. This is because a couple of years ago whilst working in the garage of our house which doubles (trebles?) as a workroom and a utility area, he claims that the freezer was making an "annoying" noise and turned it off briefly. So briefly that he forgot to turn it back on again .... this only came to light a day later when I'd asked him to get choc ices out for visiting grandchildren and he said "Oh, are they meant to be soft like this?" That is when I discovered that everything in our well-stocked freezer was defrosted, and when my lovely step-daughter discovered the extent of my repertoire of swear words ....

Shysal - this is truly brilliant - must remember !
The toothbrush idea is always satisfying. My teenage daughter's friend once weeed on her father's toothbrush when he had been particularly beastly. Another young man cleaned his dog's teeth with his brother's toothbrush. Sweet revenge!

Just carry on. He'll kill himself eventually.

"Why do men die before their wives?"
"Because they want to."

(If you feel that's in bad taste, isn't discussing murder in bad taste?)

It's the Gransnetters who haven't posted who are the ones to watch. That's for the police in case they're reading .

W£hy didn't grin work? I'll try again

What a great thread. I have enjoyed reading all that. {grin}

I'll visit you in prison

Kill him with kindness, he will soon see your point of view. He knows which side his bread is buttered.

You two need to have a heart-to-heart!

Gosh, SueDoku, who, on their grandfather's behalf, would dare admit it now???

Anybody got a tiger's head knocking about in their house? According to 'Father Brown' a few finely-chopped bits of the whiskers stirred into his food won't be noticed - and death is absolutely assured...!
I'm sure that one tiger would 'do' for quite a lot of people...so come on, whose grandfather went tiger-shooting..???