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I love them dearly but .......

(108 Posts)
Coppernob Thu 05-Jan-17 22:01:04

My daughter, her partner and their two delightful little girls live in Italy. She always likes to come home some time over the Christmas period and so she and my 4 year old granddaughter arrived on 27 Dec. By the following afternoon said granddaughter was covered from head to toe in chicken pox spots, itchy and miserable.

They were due to fly home on 1Jan but there was no way granddaughter would be have been allowed on a plane looking a she did, even if she had felt up to travelling. So they had to stay on and finally went home today.

At last the floor is clear of books, crayons, clothes and all the other paraphanelia a 4 year old needs these days. Once more we can eat what we like, when we like and we don't have to watch Stick Man on the TV 104 times a day!

I love them both to bits but can't say I was desperately sorry to see them go when I dropped them at the airport this afternoon. Am I a dreadful mother and granny?

Llamedos13 Fri 06-Jan-17 13:29:31

A granny pal of mine once told me there was nothing more exciting than the headlights of the car arriving with her grandkids followed by the sight of the disappearing tail lights as they drove off!

Conni7 Fri 06-Jan-17 13:14:53

I'm so glad everyone else feels the same. Two cars to the airport at 6 am to take DS and DIL, plus two delightful granddaughters and all the luggage. We only see them twice and year and I feel quite sad about that but pleased to have the house back to normal. Almost three weeks is really too long. Where do they get all the energy these days - I'm exhausted? Mountains of washing and things back in the right places at last. I'm just grateful that none of my machines broke down, and no-one was ill. They're already talking about a summer visit. I think we Grannies are a tolerant lot, but don't we love them!

Nelliemaggs Fri 06-Jan-17 13:11:45

Diddy1, they probably come because their parent issued a three-line whip! That's what I used to have to do but fortunately before the days of mobile phones and tablets. Mother complained that they talked to each other and their cousins and not to her but she was very deaf and difficult to converse with. When she greeted them on their arrival she would always make a sarcastic comment about the length of time since their last visit so there was little love lost there. If I live long enough to have teenage grandchildren I hope I will be different. We spent a week with her every year when the children were little and when we left there wasn't a thing out of place. We even washed the bedding and tumble dried it before we left and so did my siblings or we would never have heard the last of it.

sarahellenwhitney Fri 06-Jan-17 13:09:55

Mildred.
Carpets are materialistic objects and can be replaced when ever.
Family are precious if you feel like you do then tell them then go buy your carpet.Enjoy.

Theoddbird Fri 06-Jan-17 13:04:26

I used to love having my grandson to stay the weekend when he was small smile

sarahellenwhitney Fri 06-Jan-17 13:02:02

Coppernob You are a very fortunate person that you have a family and you can hardly say they invade your ''precious'' space every day or every week for that matter.
I will not say more as I may just say something I regret.

Felix2007 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:55:19

When my children were small we lived in Portugal and used to come over every year at Christmas for a week to visit my father who was in his 60s/70s. With the selfishness of youth I never really realised what a disruption this must have been for him, as he had to turn his little study into a spare bedroom, borrow a cot and high chair in the early stages, make sure there was enough food, although we tried to do most of the shopping, and put up with the noise and mess. Now I am in my 70s with 4 GCS I realise how difficult this must have been for him, but he never complained as he did so love to see us all, but I can imagine how relieved he must have been to get back to normal life when we left!

gillyjp Fri 06-Jan-17 12:37:09

We had all the family for a 'gathering' which was lovely and OH and myself up until 1.00am the night before baking and preparing food so we started off knackered. However they didn't stay over with designated drivers in each couple so that at least one of each being able to have a glass or two of wine. It is tradition that we take my DD's 3 children to the panto and they usually stay over. This time it was on NYE. They were tired to start with because they weren't going to bed at the normal time during the holidays. Panto was great and they got all the usual treats that go with it. The next day they were all up by 6.15am! We took them to the park to get some fresh air and they kept going. Finally returned to their Mum and Dad middayish. We went home, collapsed on the sofa and slept for about 3 hours. We find having them stay over these days is physically challenging - I cannot survive without some quality sleep now. I literally cannot wait to hand them back. Love them dearly but there's a limit to our grandparenting

nigglynellie Fri 06-Jan-17 12:35:01

I had a friend years ago and her parents used to say when they left, 'see you soon, but not too soon!! I always thought it was a slightly 'off' thing to say, but forty odd years along the line, I can certainly see where they were coming from!!!! My three grandchildren live 45 miles away, so not close enough for dropping in but close enough for day visits. I love them all dearly, but my goodness they do have some energy!! Their ipads are sometimes quite a relief!

Cosafina Fri 06-Jan-17 12:32:32

I love having DGS to stay - it's incredible how such a small person can totally fill the house the way he does - and it always feels so empty as soon as he's gone.

But it equally feels bliss to have my peace and quiet back, only having to wash up once a day, only going out for a walk if I feel like it, and not having to crawl around on the floor playing cars.

The best bit about being a GP is giving them back grin

Barmyoldbat Fri 06-Jan-17 11:57:01

Mine live about 20 miles away, near enough for them to come on day visits, even then I am so pleased to see them but over the moon when they have to leave.. its just the peace and quiet I love, also our house is smallish and we have just two seater sofas, his and hers to strech out on. When we have visitors we have to share!

JackyB Fri 06-Jan-17 11:56:42

I can see where you're coming from but my GC are so far away, I just let the house go to pot and went out with them to parks and playgrounds while they were here for Christmas.

It's still not straight because I went back to work again on Monday and am chronically tired anyway, and hardly get anything done during the week. We are leaving the Christmas tree up until Sunday because that will be the first time we shall be seeing one of them again this year. Maybe next week I'll get round to cleaning up.

Diddy1 Fri 06-Jan-17 11:55:57

We dont see the Grandchildren as much these days as they are older, all in their teens, but when they do come I wish they came to see US, and TALK to us, they come armed with their I phones, tablets etc.I dont let them have these things when we eat, but can do once they have left the table, at least we do get a few minute to talk when they are at the table, I often wonder why they come to be honest, as they arent really interested in us, I surely must be a terrible Gran!

paddyann Fri 06-Jan-17 11:55:35

we have a 7 year old for half of every week since her parents spliy almost 6 years ago ,her dad moved home so he would get help with her while he's at work.I love her to the moon and back but I am always happy to see her go back to her Mum /other granny.Its nice to see the carpet for a few days without a layer of books and toys and its lovely to listen to the silence .

HellsBells Fri 06-Jan-17 11:49:10

We used to descend on our parents with 6 children and stay for at least 2 weeks (they lived near the sea) I remember my Dad sometimes asking how long we were staying! They always came out to wave us off but it is only now that we have grandchildren that I realise how relieved they must have felt to see the back of us! They never let on though and I wish could say to them I now know how you must have felt
We now have 16 grandchildren and love them all dearly but don't mind when we're on our own! And certainly don't feel guilty.

pollyperkins Fri 06-Jan-17 11:45:57

Me too! We had all the children, their partners and 6 grandchildren staying with us for several days over New Year. We loved having them here but it took days to get bedrooms ready, precook some meals etc . While they were here it was lovely but exhausting- the noise, the chaos, the mess, the continuous cooking and washing up, getting up early withthe littlest ones etc. When they all went we spent two hours getting the house back to normal then fell asleep in the armchairs. Im still washing sheets and towels....
But I think Im so lucky compared to people who dont seethe family or who have big rows when they get together. So you are not a bad Granny but just normal!!

Coppernob Fri 06-Jan-17 11:45:57

Thank you all for your support. I knew it really but felt so guilty at breathing a sigh of relief as I drove away from the airport.

This morning, though, I missed my spotty little granddaughter rushing into the bedroom to give me a cuddle. It seems I'm never satisfied!

I have 3 more granddaughters (6, 3 and 1) living locally and I look after them for a day and a half a week. We're now waiting to see whether they all come out in spots too. Could be fun and games ahead but at least they'll go home at the end of the day.

tigger Fri 06-Jan-17 11:40:36

Grandchildren - nice to see them come - nice to see them go.

janeainsworth Fri 06-Jan-17 11:10:13

silverhippy you can't edit posts.
You can preview them though and edit at that stage, but once you've clicked 'post' that's it.
If you've posted something you really regret, your only recourse is to report your own post and ask GNHQ to delete or edit it.
But remember even if you post something awful, probably not many people will actually have read it, and of those that have, most will have forgotten about it within a day or so wink

Teddy123 Fri 06-Jan-17 11:08:53

Absolutely NOT a terrible granny!
A lovely Christmas break turned into a marathon chicken pox drama. I think it's great that you're honest.

We have grandson 3 afternoons a week. By 4.30 (especially in the winter) I find my eyes straying to the clock cos I've had enough!

I've experienced the chicken pox drama too. Can't go to nursery until spots stop appearing blah blah. A ridiculous rule. They all caught it anyway.

Happy New Year

marionk Fri 06-Jan-17 11:07:25

No, sadly when family live a fair distance away (ours were in Australia) when you do get together it is far to intense for too long. When they just live round the corner as ours do now, you see them for a few hours once or twice a week and it's far easier all round

GrandmaMia1 Fri 06-Jan-17 10:52:52

My mother always said, "it's lovely to see you but it's lovely to see you go" . I completely understand that.

harrysgran Fri 06-Jan-17 10:52:52

Not at all I love mine but one of the reasons it's great to be a grandparent is they go home ?

nonnasusie Fri 06-Jan-17 10:51:19

We spent Christmas in England, seeing all the family. We returned to Italy for the new year with DH's daughter and family (her son 15 months and 2 step children,9 &10). After 2 weeks of grandchildren it was nice to get back to normal and have a clean house again!!

Craftycat Fri 06-Jan-17 10:50:35

I have 6 grandchildren aged between 2 & 12. I have them to sleep over quite a lot & I love it- even when all 6 come together as they all get on so well.
Breakfast & bedtimes are a hoot but great fun & they play very well together.

Then when their parents come to pick them up I wave & blow kisses until they are out of sight.

Then I come indoors take a deep breath & having carted all the clutter back upstairs I collapse on a sofa & think I'm so glad they have gone! Sometimes there is a G & T involved at this stage too depending on time of day.

Of course we all love having them to ourselves but let's be honest- they are a very tiring & time demanding past time.

Wonderful when they arrive & wonderful when they leave- perfectly natural!