On our own at Christmas

Ever since I married and began to do Christmas nearly 50 years ago our house has always had extra people in it at Christmas; parents, in-laws, other elderly relative, at times friends at a loose end. Never huge groups. 9 has been the maximum, usually less than that. Parents, in-laws and elederly relatives have all dies; we are the elderly now so this year it is just us two plus our DD. DS and family alternate between us and the other grandma and it is her turn this year....... and we are rather enjoying it.

Christmas is being done as usual with food, decorations etc, but this year all three of us for different reasons are feeling quite worn. We have slept in late, had relaxed meals and just chilled out. the only television we have watched is Maigret, but we have listened to music, read a lot and done quizzes (a family hobby).

Tonight this will end when DS and family arrive and we are really looking forward to it, but we have quietly enjoyed our small Christmas and are all secretly looking forward to the next one in 2018!!

Ops! missed a page only read page 1

For you Azie and everyone else missing their loved ones for what ever reason

But what a kind gesture on the part of you and your DIL

TBH Anya, that's not unusual! Lots of nuclear families spend Christmas day just the two, three or four of them - I'm sure they didn't feel 'alone'...

It's not just the older person who's alone at Christmas. My DIL has just found out that friends of theirs were alone yesterday, just father, mother and their 7- year old daughter. No living parents, siblings or grandparents.

So they've been invited to join us for Boxing Day at DiL's.

DH & I have been together for 10 years, married for 7. His grown-up children have always given us the freedom to be "just us" on Christmas Day, but then they all (plus their children) come to our house on Boxing Day so we get to see the kids open the presents we've bought them. This year has been slightly different due to a last-minute change of arrangements, and we spent Christmas Day at DS-D's which was delightful. DS-S and family still coming to us today and that will be lovely too, as there will be more chance to chat when it's only 6 of us. Given that I have no children of my own, I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful "step" family.

After our DCs had left home & my DM & Step-F had stopped driving down to us (250 mile journey) DH & I had Christmas on our own for several years, DH was his usual "Bah Humbug" & couldn't see why I was bothering with tree etc until I pointed that DGC would expect to see tree when they visited

We had Beef & all the trimmings, Sherry Trifle (DH's favourite) & generally relaxed. Boxing Day was always a big family get-together at Step-Daughter's.

My DM has spent several Christmas Days on her own & she eats what she likes, buys ready prepared veg (a treat for her) & enjoys her day as long as I, my DD & DGS remember to ring her

After my DH died my DD insisted I spent Christmas Day with her, her OH & DGS, made easier over last 2 years as I now live about 10 miles away. It would not worry me to be on my own though

Azie09, I hope your day went well and that 2017 will bring you what you are looking for. Is there any chance that you can visit either of your daughters next year? My two DDS are in the UK and we planning moving near to one of them next year. As you are missing them so much would you consider moving to be near one of them?

Thanks Greyduster, FarNorth and TriciaF and everyone else. It does help to know that you are not alone, it's all too easy to add to the misery by thinking that everyone else has a merry throng around them! We had a good walk this afternoon, putting my feet up with a new book now. Happy Christmas and peace and joy to you all.

Good wishes to you, Azie09, for a relaxed and peaceful day, and happiness in 2017.

I'm on my own today, happily pottering around and doing whatever suits me. (with extra chocolate)

Funny story. A neighbour of ours is in her 90s, two decades older than me and we keep an eye on her, pop in regularly, do her shopping, take her to appointments - that sort of thing. We learnt today that she didn't feel like joining her family at a local hostelry so would be on her own on Christmas Day. We asked her to join us but she didn't feel up to it so we offered to take her a plate of our Christmas dinner. She said she had a frozen chicken meal she was going to have so my daughter said, 'wouldn't you rather have a fresh cooked meal' and she said yes. So at lunchtime my daughter set sail like Little Red Riding Hood for her house, let herself in with the key we hold for her and realised she was on the phone to her grandson in Australia and was saying, 'next door are insisting on bringing me a meal but I would rather they didn't' ! Nothing to do with the quality of the meal - my daughter is an excellent cook. I said she should have brought it back but she was so nonplussed that she left it, wished her bon appetit and came home for lunch with me and her infant son.

Cheer up, Madgrandma - hope you have a lovely day - anyhow, there is lots of good stuff on TV. I hope your husband will be better and able to come home soon!
We are having our first Christmas on our own ever - when we were first married we used to go to my parents and then our daughter came along so it was always five, four and then three of us. This year our daughter, who lives in NY with her American husband can't come over here as they have been over twice this year and have used up all their holiday allowance and also, they have just bought an apartment in Manhattan and have the builders and decorators in so they can't really leave them to it. We have just had a long chat on Skype and watched them opening their presents from us. Since I have been ill with the dreaded cough virus for 5 weeks and still feel very ropey and our daughter has a sore throat and blocked sinuses, it's probably just as well we aren't spending it together. My stepdaughter, husband and grandchildren, who live in Denmark are spending Christmas in Oslo with her mother, so we had a good skype with them before they left. So we are on our own today for the first time.

We are on our own every other year and I really enjoy doing something different every year. This morning we went to the local beach as there is a cafe doing mince pies and mulled wine for a donation to McMillan. There was lovely carols being played by musicians and it was very crowded with people wishing each other merry Christmas. Children and dogs playing on the beach. Thank goodness it was dry and mild. Just finished roast beef etc. So nice to read all these positive messages. Happy Christmas.

Shalom and beautiful warm thoughts from this Chanukah household , we are on our own his year too ... DH loves it ..

On our own too ...normally have a fairly decent day ...don't feel lonely, even though I am spending time in my office alone ...DH has vasculaire dementia onset and is not happy it is Christmas ..asked me what day it was ...wants to be alone in the conseratory where I have just checked he is asleep ! Turkey will be roasted along with all the trimmings, table laid, crackers etc and Christmas music ...but it may just be me at the table if he does as he often does and refuses to eat his dinner or take a tray out to the conservatory with him ! hey ho I shall make the most of a peaceful quiet day ...so far his daughter hasn't called but she may .....and then he will probably refuse to speak to her !

But hey, I shall enjoy the day ......lots of chocolate for me to heatm lots of coal making lots of heatm warm hands warm face, warm feet ....ah isn't it just luverly ! I am safe I have warmth and food and a roof over my head. Compared to a lot of people in the world today I am very lucky ! and the cat (and the neighbour's cat who visits) also have turkey ....they are waiting !

Happy safe and peaceful day to everyone !

My son and daughter do not live in the UK and so over the last 6/7 years my husband and I have spent Christmas alternating between Thailand and Canada. Both are happy to invite us and we have had some memorable times. Next year, I suggested that Christmas is hosted by us in the lovely Lake District- they jumped at the chance. So the cottage for ten is booked - even before we've celebrated Christmas Day today. So from a currently snowy Canada, I wish everyone a very Happy Christmas Dsy however you are spending it.

For the first time in our 20 years together my husband and I are alone today. As we live abroad and most of the family are in England we decided that, instead of staying in a hotel in order to see the family, we would stay at home and do just as we want. 3 of my 6 children have already rung to wish us a happy Christmas. Poor DH has been poorly this week so at the moment he is still sleeping so I shall treat myself to a cup of tea and a slice of the banana cake I made yesterday. I hope you all enjoy your day

OH coughing and spluttering with horrible bug and suffering from SAD. Double whammy for him! Quite pleased just the two of us so don't need to make an effort. Just made some mince pies with out of date mincemeat, so hope they'll be ok! Strong smell of alcohol when I opened the jar, so I'm sure it's nicely matured! Opened an m and s cocktail while waiting for the pies to cook.
Both DS elsewhere this year, fortunately!!
Happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year to all!

Happy Christmas to all who have time to want to come onto this website.
We did enjoy a wonderful Christmas on our own or rather going off on our own. It was before my husband passed away and when the UK were experiencing awful weather, so we heard. This all made a cruise to the Carribean so enjoyable. There was a mass of food around everywhere, but luckly I can say no and enjoy the pool!

Like you,*Azie*, most of our family is at the other side of the world, we are usually on our own for Christmas. We've spent the morning in the garden, digging up the last of the potatoes, cooking some now.
We spent longer than we expected because we (husband that is) found a whole lot of stuff buried deep down - old quilts, tools, a carrycot etc. He digs and I collect. Getting a bit worried in case there was something more gruesome
Wishing you all a lovely day, especially those of you who are on your own - you've always got friends on Gransnet.

Every good wish to you, Azie09 and your DH. I hope the rest of the holiday brings you joy ??and that we see you posting in the New Year ?.

I decided to withdraw from Gransnet a while ago as there were a couple of threads I found really upsetting, quite why people choose to be so horrible to each other I don't understand.
I came to look today because I was feeling down, it's our first Christmas on our own for 35 years. We've got two in NZ and one in the US. We've Skyped but I find it a deeply frustrating means of communication.
But I want to offer warmth to those feeling sad and to say thanks to those offering positive and alternative points of view. I am really cheered by those. I know it's just another day but ours is a small family anyway and I miss my daughters so much. I never thought I'd have to get used to not having their cheerful, chatty selves within easy reach.
You just have to get on with it, don't you. I know I must pull myself together and find some new direction in life, it's just extra hard today. DH has gone out for a walk. There's a lot of tension between us, partly reaction to the situation, I'm hoping we can have a peaceful afternoon walk and light lunch courtesy of M&S!
Happy Christmas people, thank you for being here and here's hoping 2017 brings new and good things and happiness for those of us struggling.

Thank you all so much for all these warm and encouraging posts. We always now spend Christmas with just the two of us. Family live 80 - 100 miles away and like to spend it at home so the GCs can enjoy their presents. So we tend to veer between feeling sorry that we don't see them on 'the big day', and relieved that we're not slaving over the stove.

It's great to know we're not alone, being on our own. Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year to one and all

We are the same, Maryhoffman, except we've been married 55 years. First on our own in all that time. After a year of DH bad health we are looking forward to a peaceful day. May you have the same. X