Men!

Some men can be too stoical for their own good. My youngest son finally went to the dentist, having suffered in silence for some time. The dentist took an x-ray and on 4th January my son has to go to hospital where they will try to remove one of the largest cysts they have ever seen. It goes from his wisdom tooth right down his jaw and has already eaten away half the bone. Apparently, if it had been left any longer he would have had no jawbone left. He has been told they will try to drain it on the day but he may need to have a drain in his jaw for about a year.

Jane10. The hip is much the same, got an appointment with the surgeon in Feb. at local private hospital, same surgeon that operated on my other hip and knee.

It depends how you tell the truth.

Is the truth counted as getting at someone unfairly?

The only time I have ever failed to seek medical attention was when I really didn't know that I was ill. It was fifteen years ago and I had just turned 50. I started feeling very tired and "weepy" although I had no idea why. I put it down to age, after all I had never been 50 before. I wondered if maybe this was how you were supposed to feel at that age.

Things came to a head when I fell off my chair during an important meeting in work - and my colleagues called an ambulance fearing that I had had a heart attack. But blood tests ascertained that I had a serious thyroid deficiency. As soon as I started taking the medication my health improved immensely.

Hope your hip is feeling a bit better wobbly.

I must be more thick skinned than I thought, I hadn't noticed any sexist remarks aimed at men. I seem to have a season ticket for my doctor and hospital atm, costing the NHS a fortune.

Annsan I don't think we are "getting at men unfairly". To say that this is a "sexist renmark" when there is a mass of evidence that men are much slower than women to seek medical help.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8588686.stm

THis is a turn around, it usually us men that get accused of making the worst of a minor illness, ie Man flu v a slight cold.

I have a health check booked for next week (clinic suggestion, not mine) I hope they have allowed an hour for the appointment.

DH had start of sore throat a couple of days ago and yesterday turned into flu like symptoms. He's too poorly to do anything but stay in bed really. Probably scuppered our expected visit to DD2 in Yorks for Christmas.
A while ago I tried to get him to have an eye appt-what for? Why? Never worn glasses!
Eventually all but forced him to make appt, he returned home afterwards looking suitably contrite, pressure high in both eyes, since kept stable with eye drops for life now! Have the same performance when bowel cancer tests arrive.
Have had to give him a stern talk about how lucky we are to have these tests available and he's to take advantage of them with no more messing about!
He's now-again after much insistence-been told he has "bad arthritis" in his right hip (after nearly 12 months being messed about by GP) so have now insisted doc refer him to ortho-more than likely will be hip replacement but DH looks at me as if I'm talking gibberish! This is going to be fun!

katek.I am so sorry and now from your reply see your situation is not that different to what my own was.Although a loving husband and father and we had many happy times together the love of my husbands life was his work. He could never say no. We had endless arguments which I still regret and 'if only' I could turn back the clock. Can you have a talk with your husbands gp over your concerns as your own efforts are clearly falling on stony ground.How many men will listen to their wife/partner?
I imagine the jury is still out on that one.

What would you rather have... Stoical or every sneeze/pain inoperable manflu. There doesn't seem to be a halfway house with men

Don't get me started.
DH has man 'flu at the moment - but any suggestion on medication such as inhalations are regarded as poison. He will be stoic. Since he has cancer, his immune system is lowered and he needs to watch his health. He seems to think that infecting others [managed to stop this one, for once] and being "brave" are meritorious! Ditto for pain/back ache due to slipped disc.
There is NO merit in having pain, we are fortunate in having painkillers and such, use them for goodness sake.
Women are more careful of their health on the whole, not hypochondriacs.

Can't remember DH taking a day off for illness. If he had a cold it was on holiday! He took a day off for his father's funeral and the week his mother was dying.

My DH of 43 years had never had a day's illness during that time. Until July I would have given odds that he'd outlast me! But then he started to feel unwell. Long story short - he is now in his 5th week in hospital, having had a part of his blocked bowel removed and a stoma bag is now his accompaniment for life.
I joked and told him that as we were married in a registry office, I ddn't sign up for the "in sickness and health" bit, but I am just grateful that finally he did allow me to call and ambulance and get him sorted out professionally.

Well my normally healthy go to work at any cost OH is stymied. Think he has slipped a disc and can hardly move. Never had to play nurse before ? Not sure I like it.

This thread is not damning men, it is telling it as it is - men are less willing to admit that they are 100% healthy. Men are programmed to be strong and put themselves at risk, it goes with their historical responsibility of protecting their dependants, and the way an animal never admits to illness until it is fatal.

Now that childbirth is no longer the number one killer of women, they live longer than men, but men in general have yet to react to this fact by looking after themselves better and catching up. That is why wives have to nag husbands about their health.

Damn! Don't we have a delete button on here?

Well that escalated quickly....

Has anyone got a stoical dh to swap please? Mine has a cold today so is under a blanket in the lounge watch loads of stuff on catch up and asking for 'nursery' food'.

DH always stayed off work when he had colds as most of his patients were vulnerable healthier but I didn't bank on him continuing in that manner.

I have yet another bladder infection but I've been to MandS to collect the ordered stuff and I'm now off the Sainsbury's for the fresh! But, I'll be fine!

As I would have mine back, sarahellenwhitney , but the next time round I would absolutely make him see the GP about the symptoms that he didn't admit to even to me, which led to his death. And then I would go back and make absolutely sure that he didn't ignore any illness or weakness in the past.

Being stoical is not a virtue, it masks the start of many a fatal disease, and going to work unnecessarily with something infectious/contagious spreads it to others and puts them at the same risk.

Men have a better survival rate and live longer lives when married. Single men die of horrible and often preventable things and also have a greater tendency to suicide. Clearly, it is because women take care of men and nag them into doing sensible things like eating properly, getting exercise and visiting the doctors and also the company makes them happier (and saner). Some men even take some notice of the benign nagging and it is these who increase their life span.

This is all very wearing for women, of course.

My DH is a hypochondriac and I have to keep him from clogging up the surgery every time he breaks a finger nail. But at least he's alive.

Already in trouble on another thread for being involved in this debate, suffice it to say I agree with Dee

That's part of my issue sarahellen- I'm trying to keep him well. He's had two early heart attacks already, one at 52 and the other at 53, has a stent fitted and also suffers from PVD with narrowed arteries in groin and behind his knees. So yes, I can (and do) imagine life without him, that's why I would like him to take better care of himself.

Katek.Be grateful you still have your husband.Can you imagine yourself with out him?
Having suddenly lost my DH six years ago I would say without hesitation just let me have him back warts and all.