A Real Christmas

The thing is almost everywhere we look there are other women telling us how fantastic they are. Making their own wreaths, their own mincemeat, cleaning and scrubbing the house 3 times a day. and what fabulous dinner parties they give. We don't live in a bubble so it's hard not to be affected by it, especially If our self esteem is a bit low. Sometimes women are their own worst enemy

Good for you Sue - I'm all for digging my feet in and doing it my way.

In fact we're having lamb for Christmas dinner as nobody likes turkey much and everyone loves lamb. So no bread sauce, stuffing, pig in blankets, cranberry sauce.

Just a British leg of lamb from the farm down the road, with homemade roasties, glazed vegetables, mint jelly and yummy gravy. DD's doing the starter and DS the pudding. No idea what they're planning and I don't care.

That's the stress free way to do Christmas Dinner for 8 adults and 4 children with 4 dogs running underfoot.

I agree with DaphneBroon, don't make things difficult, do the things you enjoy or are good at and get help with the rest. If family are eating with you get them to bring a course, buy the cake, mince pies etc if you are short of time or like me can't cook.
I once bought a whole Christmas dinner from M&S when I was working. Enjoy time with friends or family and don't feel you have to be superwoman .

Christmas should be enjoyed rather than endured. The best way to enjoy it is to encourage participation in the preparations by all family members. Give a ceiling price for presents. My sister-in-law and I did that when the children were young and nobody objected, since all were treated the same.

Why this urge though to make life difficult?
Don't your DGCS' parents do their stockings? Bake a Yule log /Christmas cake/mince pies if you want, but you can equally well buy them (if anybody has room for a Yule log anyway) Lisalou I do feel your pain, but why are you doing it all in the first place? Especially working 15 hour days?
Internet food shopping and planning in advance is the way forward -try it next year. But also for those who feel stressed, think about what you choose to do as opposed to what you have to do.
If you want to make your own wreath, fine, but the one in the loft will do as well (or treat yourself to its replacement)
A well chosen present instead of gift bags, but if the latter, then that is your choice.
I cannot go along with any suggestion that I am not capable of resisting ignoring all the so-called commercial pressure, we are adults for heaven's sake and so what if some shops are full of it from September?
We are mature women -some more mature than others- so do things the way YOU want.

I love Christmas but I wish that advertisers weren't allowed to direct their trade at children, many of whom are too young to understand the costs involved. Advertisers are skilled at promoting pester power and as most parents want to give to their children it can lead to problems.

Before anyone suggests that the parents just say no you need to remember that today's parents were themselves bombarded with advertising when children and still are as adults. They are easy targets for cynical advertising companies.

I worry about how many will find themselves in trouble when the bills arrive in January.

Lisa don't make the yule log, just buy one there are such nice ones in the shops. With your schedule, why add to it?! It's only other people's expectations and they will let go of that in 30 seconds in the grand scheme of things.

Our Christmas festivities are always the same, low key, but happy and above all relaxing.

....I didnt mean Christmas has been 'spoilt' for me..I meant in general...Ive made my own wreath.Christmas tree is a beautifully decorated branch from the woods.pine cones.candles and cloved oranges on the fireplace. BUT I WONT.any longer be swept along from September by commercialism...Ive filled gift bags for my seven grandchildren with things they will love for about £12 each...aduts a limit of £10....ditched the 'panic!'.....enjoying 'tradition&love'.....?

I agree with you too Daphne. Although I am busy, I am nothing like as busy as some of you so I am enjoying the buzz.

We can do nothing about the commercialism all around us but it doesn't mean we have to 'buy' into it.

Agree whole heartedly Daphnebroon We shall have the usual family Christmas, happy to be with each other.

Lisalou I feel your pain. I really do. I love it but oh the extra work it creates. I too wish it didn't start until December.

I agree with both sides. On one hand it is inordinately commercial (I really do abhor seeing trees up in stores in September, and in houses soon after in the UK) but you can turn your back on it.
The stress for me derives from a personal situation. I simply do not have the time to prepare for Xmas this year, I don't have stockings done, am expected to produce a chocolate yule log on Xmas eve (which is a pain in the bottom to do) I work fifteen hour days and i still haven't done any wrapping, worse still, any food shopping. I will get around it, DH is going to be shunted off shopping tomorrow morning for food (I work all day right up to Christmas Eve) I will be calling the cleaning lady in despair (she isnt due to come until after the holidays, taking one herself, and rightly so) In the hope that she will be willing to drop in and give the living room and kitchen a once over on 22nd. It will all get done - but BOY the stress

It is only all the things you accuse it of, if you let it be.

It is all well and good saying this Daphne, but the commercialism is all around us, and in the shops from about September for goodness sakes.

It doesn't bother me as I am not doing Christmas, but some people do feel under pressure to do things they would not normally consider doing, and to buy things they simply cannot afford.

It is only all the things you accuse it of, if you let it be.
I shall celebrate Christmas as I have always done, lots of good food and drink for the family, presents which I hope will make them happy - and no, I have not gone OTT with them, a warm and comfortable house which looks at its best when we welcome them here, the village church at 11.30 for the Midnight service (so that I can take DH to his Mass on Christmas morning) and memories of past Christmases with our parents and family no longer with us.
Nothing has been spoilt for me, no clocks need turning back, it is what YOU make it. ⭐️ ?? ?