Gransnet forums

Chat

What would you do?

(18 Posts)
ninathenana Tue 20-Dec-16 17:19:21

I wouldn't have a problem with "bring your own chair" in fact I did just that for a friends 50th garden party.
Pop in for an hour or so, you may well enjoy it. If you don't some may think "what's up with her at 29" tchgrin

SueDonim Tue 20-Dec-16 17:07:57

I'd go! When we moved to this house one Xmas we were a bit overwhelmed to be welcomed so enthusiastically, with invitations and so on. However, 20 years on, although as the children have grown up and moved away we don't have so many gatherings, there's not one person I wouldn't turn to in a crisis. We really have lovely neighbours yet none of us live in each other's pockets. It's priceless beyond words to know such people. smile

Yorkshiregel Tue 20-Dec-16 15:36:44

Well, maybe you are right. I just do not want to cause offence. Perhaps I should take a plate of mince pies. I just want to avoid getting too friendly. I have had bad experiences of people in the past, so I am very wary. I think I have trained myself not to get too close to people. My Father was in the Forces, my OH was in the RAF. You get to know people and after about 2 years they are gone somewhere else. Then you have to start all over again.

Teetime Tue 20-Dec-16 15:05:42

Sounds like a nice friendly neighborhood yorkshiregel I would go and soak up some of their Christmas spirit!!! we had the neighbours round last night and a good time was had by all and no doubt sometime over this week they will reciprocate.

Jane10 Tue 20-Dec-16 09:51:18

We have an annual summer party at our block of flats. Its lovely to see everyone and it engenders such a nice friendly atmosphere throughout the year. Over the festive season we have neighbours in for drinks in twos and threes rather than a big group as its nice to have a really good chat.

norose4 Tue 20-Dec-16 08:56:41

Bring your own chair sounds ok to me, better to have somewhere to sit? agree with others you don't have to stay long & it can be viewed as an interesting social observation. i.e. the saying:-
'there's none so queer as folk'

kittylester Tue 20-Dec-16 06:26:25

We used to have regular get together with 6 of our neighbours. We had barbecues in the summer and a pre Christmas 'do'. Then 2 couples moved and a wife died. The heart has gone out it now. We didn't live in each other's pockets but were there if needed. We really miss it.

So, I'd say - go!

rubylady Tue 20-Dec-16 04:03:50

This doesn't sound unusual to me. In a few of the houses I have lived in, including this one, neighbours help each other, giving and receiving. Community spirit has broken down in some areas but it is strong and kicking where I live and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Christinefrance Mon 19-Dec-16 21:21:35

Yes do go even it's just for a short time, you may find it enjoyable and you don't have to be bosom buddies with your neighbours. tchsmile

rosesarered Mon 19-Dec-16 20:03:39

We always go to a neighbours get together ( they have a huge house, so we all fit in)
We all take some nibbles and a bottle and usually end up staying for a few hours (weaving our way home on unsteady feet.) tchgrin So just go and relax and enjoy it.

hulahoop Mon 19-Dec-16 19:56:46

Wish our neighbours were as friendly

Jane10 Mon 19-Dec-16 15:54:05

Maybe they're having this party as a thank you to all their neighbours. Go. You don't have to stay for hours. Sounds like the other neighbours will be there too. You might even actually enjoy it! Ho ho hotchsmile

Synonymous Mon 19-Dec-16 15:47:44

All these things of which you speak Yorkshiregel are pretty normal neighbourliness and should be nothing to worry about really unless you have had bad experiences in the past.
We had neighbour issues in our last home because of resentment about our renovating and extending our home so I do understand when you have reservations.
When we moved here we were a bit reticent as regards neighbours so when we went to our first gathering it was with some trepidation. At Christmas time we went to a neighbours' home for drinks with other neighbours and it was interesting to say the least. You have to decide just how much you want to engage and back off to the degree where you feel comfortable. If you go to these sort of events it can inform you as regards the dynamics in the neighbourhood. At the Christmas event for example: A very confident lady walked in and exclaimed," Oh Sue, did you stand at the door and throw all that lot on your tree then?" Without missing a beat our hostess whipped back with, " Oh no, I just covered it with a bin bag to keep it dust free and left it just as you decorated it for me last year" An eye opener to say the least and everybody just roared with laughter. There were raised eyebrows and knowing looks which actually said a lot without even a word being spoken. People watching is good, we learnt a lot!
We won't be there this year so am waiting to hear all about it when we get home. grin

Try to relax and just enjoy the get together. smile

Lillie Mon 19-Dec-16 15:25:05

Go, but come away when you've had enough.

If they're out at work all day, and go away frequently, they're hardly going to come and bother you for cups of tea or coffee all day.

PRINTMISS Mon 19-Dec-16 15:17:30

Oh! yes, go, you do not have to stay, but show your face. Don't worry about what everyone else does. Leave when you have had enough, and provided you don't get drawn into doing things which you think are "taking advantage" then it should not cause you a problem.

Charleygirl Mon 19-Dec-16 15:12:13

I would go if only for half an hour. It is not as though you will be on your own- who knows, you may even enjoy it.

joannapiano Mon 19-Dec-16 14:59:29

'Tis the season of goodwill. Go.

Yorkshiregel Mon 19-Dec-16 14:49:04

We have had a card/invite to a street get together through the door from someone who came to live in the close just before last Christmas. Last year these people invited people to their Christmas get together, to be held on their decking at the back of their house. It ended up on the street in a turning point, with the BBQ plugged in to another neighbour's electricity socket. My OH went but I didn't because I actually had a bad cold. One of them asked me if they could borrow my wheelbarrow one day when I happened to be outside raking up weeds. I have also seen other neighbours carrying chairs and a table in to this person's house so obviously they had been invited to a party ....but bring your own chair! We already take in their parcels because they are at work all day. Another takes in their bin because they have left it out and gone away.

The bottom line is I don't want to go because I feel they take advantage. Another reason is that I have been wary of getting too close to neighbours because of a bad experience with one who came for coffee.... and kept on coming, making a bit of a nuisance of herself. I could not get rid of her no matter how many hints I made for her to leave. This was in our last house, not this one.

What would you do? What excuse could I make without giving offence?