All these things of which you speak Yorkshiregel are pretty normal neighbourliness and should be nothing to worry about really unless you have had bad experiences in the past.
We had neighbour issues in our last home because of resentment about our renovating and extending our home so I do understand when you have reservations.
When we moved here we were a bit reticent as regards neighbours so when we went to our first gathering it was with some trepidation. At Christmas time we went to a neighbours' home for drinks with other neighbours and it was interesting to say the least. You have to decide just how much you want to engage and back off to the degree where you feel comfortable. If you go to these sort of events it can inform you as regards the dynamics in the neighbourhood. At the Christmas event for example: A very confident lady walked in and exclaimed," Oh Sue, did you stand at the door and throw all that lot on your tree then?" Without missing a beat our hostess whipped back with, " Oh no, I just covered it with a bin bag to keep it dust free and left it just as you decorated it for me last year" An eye opener to say the least and everybody just roared with laughter. There were raised eyebrows and knowing looks which actually said a lot without even a word being spoken. People watching is good, we learnt a lot!
We won't be there this year so am waiting to hear all about it when we get home. 
Try to relax and just enjoy the get together. 