Things that break your heart......

If tears help, then cry them, no matter whether sad, angry, frightened or happy. If tears don't come then use whatever outlet you can as long as it's not destructive to you or others. The important thing is to let some emotion our before we explode. Such pain here, my heart goes out to anyone carrying a burden, at the moment I am thinking particularly of morethan and ann but leave no one out. My most recent tearfulness was being touched by the bravery of a husband caring for his wife with such love. Many things touch my heart and yes, I allow tears when I can.

're the OP - I understand. Some years ago my son went through a period of bad depression and seeing this handsome, 6 footer reduced to emotional rubble, where achieving the smallest thing would take gargantuan effort, used to break my heart. Thankfully, he is fine now, but I am ever wary.

're flash mobs, I love them, thanks for posting that lucky. In London, at the Bel Canto restaurant, the waiting staff are all opera singing students, and sing vignettes from well known operas once they've delivered the various courses. It's such a treat.

This is one of my favourites, I love that the parents are involved, it's a happy one:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=gYh9DCN8ads

Morethan it is so, so, hard to manage our own emotions whilst seeing life through the lens of the people we love and knowing that they're suffering too. As mums we often feel the need to 'fix' things for our children (of any age) and it can be devastating to face up to the reality that not everything can be fixed.

Morethan thinking about your poor DIL and her little children is making me feel so sad. How much worse must it be for you watching her suffering. Your exhaustion and sense of helplessness must be very hard to bear. If crying helps to relieve these feelings even a little bit, just go for it.

Of course crying isn't going to solve things. But sometimes we need it. Otherwise we can become like you found yourself with your work colleague, cantankerous and angry.

morethan2

morethan2 sending ((((hugs))). I personally think a good cry helps because it eases the tension and then you can stand back and have a good think and get on with things. I am afraid I am rather prone to a few tears. Thinking about my little boy that never made it, about my sister who is so frail and probably starting dementia, seeing some of the terrible things going on in the world, and cruelty to animals and children, things like that do make me cry. I feel sorry for men who feel it would be looked on as a sign of weakness to cry, I don't think it would.

Life is tough for so many and I send lots of

Tears are good for you - they have been analysed and they release various helpful chemicals - so don't hold back.

Thank you for sharing that. It was wonderful, very uplifting.

morethan I wish I could help you with all the demands on your time and energy, even if only to make that for you. I agree with kitty that ... crying helps clear emotions out of the way and enables one to decide what to do.

ann I feel all cried out too and there have been several times that I knew I'd feel better if I could have a good cry, but I think I've used up my allocation. I have worked with carers of people with dementia and seen the effect difficulties they experience every day has on them. I hope you have someone nearby who will let you scream, shout, throw a cushion at the wall or whatever, just to let you ease that tension and to give you some (((hugs))) x

Gosh, just reading through these posts makes me realise how brave so many of us are - and so strong too. Life can be bloody awful but we tend to soldier on, crying when alone, writing so as to get stuff out of the system, temporarily.

There is a saying along the lines of "If we all had to throw our troubles into the ring, the chances are if we saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.”

I imagine that is true for many of us.

How do we keep going when life continually bashes us down with stuff to worry about? It does take the shine off things. I suppose a good cry is therapeutic - a bit like the vents on a pressure cooker. We have to let it out occasionally. I believe I have many things to be very grateful for but I know putting on a cheery, positive front has become a way of life for me now. It's a mask, and I think as you grow you learn to wear it convincingly. I also think the human spirit is very strong. Few of us go to pieces.

My best wishes to all those doing their best to be brave and strong during difficult times.

Oh morethan Sometimes life can overwhelm us. Like you ann I rarely cry. I sometimes think I have had so many bad things happen that I have no tears left (sorry if that sounds self-pitying). I am fortunate to have my DH who is understanding and two lovely sisters who I can say absolutely anything to and this forum is a great help.

Even worse when you can't spell them!

morethan2 you are dealing with more than anyone should have to deal with at any time never mind all at once and you are allowed to wail and scream and bang the walls if it releases a bit of angst for you.
I have not posted for several days and don't intend to start on a regular basis just yet but had to respond to your post.
I am totally unable to cry, I have a tear occasionally but cannot "let go", my H is losing it at a rate of knots at the moment , his memory span is measured in minutes and he is becoming very cantankerous. He obsesses about trivia, yesterday it was a battery for a small clock, until I have to go out of the room. I do and am feeling sorry for myself just now but the tears wont come.

[flowrrs] seem so inadequate sometimes.
Bon courage à tous!

All these sad stories and brave women who've been through so much and are still standing, albeit with broken hearts. I could say so much more but I've had to delete it.

I'm with the 'it's good to cry group' If I didn't cry I'd go mad or at the very least get snappy. I found this out last week when once again my MiL was rushed to hospital and we were told she's at the end of her life and critical. Along with the ongoing problems of seeing my DiL suffer so much just to give her more time to mother and raise her children. I had to attend yet another meeting about my ever changing increasing workload of a job. A lovely young girl asked if I was "ok" and I'm ashamed to say I was really horrible, brushing her kind gesture away. Of course I apologised later in the day but it made me realise that actually I was upset and if I hadn't had to be at work I'd have had a good long cry at home then 'pulled myself together' and got on with things. I've spent many hours crying in my car this year and yes it hasn't changed anything but I think it's helped me manage my feelings and keep my sanity but more important it's enabled me to still be me and enjoy and see the good things while coping with this ongoing horror. To all of you who are coping with a great sadness I'd say have a good cry, share your feelings. If there's no one your comfortable with then do it here( I've written many a post then deleted it. Just writing it down is cathartic) Then wipe your eyes stand tall, be brave and live as best you can remembering you can bear the unbearable and live with a broken heart. Soppy ain't I. I'm might go and have a good cry now because yesterday I watched as my youngest grandchild pulled a chair over to her mummy. She stretched up her little arms so she could have a hug. She's learnt that her mummy can no longer pick her up or let her sit on her lap. I want to cry uncontrollably as I witness her mummy battle yet another set back and more treatment. I want to cry because my MiL is asking for me and I'm torn and feel guilty. I want to cry because it's my oldest grandsons 21st birthday and because he lives 200 miles away I'm too exhausted to go. I'm off to feel sorry for myself and have a cup of I'd better start thinking about organising Christmas oh bugger

And PRINTMISS (((hugs)))

Grannypiper so sorry (((hugs)))

So many sad stories here, and I do think it is good to cry if we remember someone and are just sad for the fact that they are no longer with us to enjoy Christmas or any other special occasion. A few tears will often make us feel a little better and do no one any harm.
I am often moved to tears when I think of our son - he is still with us, but sometimes, when I am in a sombre mood I just wonder what would he say if he could talk - would he really say "I love you Mum"? because that is what I would like to hear.

Lovely sentiment Daphne, so sorry for all the families experiencing problems at the moment.

Thank you DaphneBroon for your post

That made me have a tear or two Db, it always does!

Very sad for your DD,SIL and you grannypiper . I have no words, but I can remember the feeling and I just wish you all the love and support a family can give.

I think crying is good ga and I disagree with C S Lewis. I think crying helps clear emotions out of the way and enables one to decide what to do.

I'm sure you are being a huge help and I hope you are looking after yourself too.

thank you all for your kind words. It has left me with a heavy heart but a sigh of relief as my DD came very close to losing her life during her last pregnancy due to pre-eclampsia and our DGD had to be brought into the world 7 weeks early. My DD is upset but my SIL is in bits, he knows that they wont ever have a baby together (they have a child each from past relationships). I am 400 miles away and feel helpless.But onwards and upwards and i am blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy DGC so cant complain. Thank you everyone