Do you or don't you.

Giving to charity is such a personal thing and we all have reasons for giving where we do,. I would be very proud of my grandchildren if they asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.
I think we have to be honest with family and say if our income is limited we would like to give a smaller gift and support our charity as well. Works for us.

We have an agreement with two relatives that instead of birthday and Christmas gifts to each other (and we really don't need more 'stuff') we each have a standing order for the animal charity for which one of them works voluntarily. We also give what we can via standing order to other charities, including cancer research, but I was really annoyed to get a call from a cancer research fundraiser who was so persistent in asking me to raise the amount each month that in the end I had to say that I couldn't rearrange my words in any other way to say no - I had said it about eight times. I also asked her if it was the case that these calls, if they succeeded, resulted in her company taking part of the extra donation every month, not just once. She moved off that subject very swiftly. I felt rattled by her attitude, and can see why older people who are alone or timid get bullied into giving what they truly cannot afford.

There is no right or wrong thing to do when giving to charities. I have a few standing orders and give to genuine charity collectors as well as sponsoring friends and grandchildren for walks / runs / bike rides, etc, and have sponsored cows, goats and teachers, but I do seem to receive masses of begging letters in the post - not so many phone calls now - and most seem to ask for standing orders, which I'm afraid I tend to bin. Perhaps you could send a store or book token instead of a cheque - it is difficult to buy for children nowadays. Continue to choose your own charities to support and say to parents that you would like to give something to the grandchildren. Maybe its time to stop giving to nephews and nieces - or put £5 or £10 in a card for them to buy something for themselves. Don't worry about it - just do your own thing.

No, I agree it's not enough to just give a pound or two, which is why many of us donate monthly through standing orders and others give up their time to volunteer.

Charities are indeed forced to beg, which is sad. But I do dislike them using those who have no stake in their charity to accost people in the street, and the sceptical attitude when I say (truly) that I give all I can afford.

One day one of these people are going to pull that face when I'm in a really bad mood ......

It's because so many are in need of help that charities are forced to beg!

Its not enough to give a pound or two now. You get hijacked by folk wanting you to take out a standing order for "just 10 pounds" a month.

I tend to give a little more to Shelter at Christmas time . The money I would have spent on cards and stamps goes to them , our family decided we would not send cards anymore it is such a waste of money (in my opinion)
I don`t spend a huge amount anyway but do buy for my GC .

I think you have to decide on your own budget and how you will allocate it and not be pressured or coerced into giving more than you can or want to afford. The Widow's Mite comes to mind.

I agree Yorkshiregel, there is only so much you can give, especially if you are on a limited income. If my DS or DIL asked me to donate to charity rather than buy them a present I would be happy to do it. However, my DGS would not understand the idea behind it and just see that he hadn't got a present. Like a lot of people I give money to certain charities and things to charity shops. I was surprised how much a charity shop had raised from the items I'd donated last year (they tell me in a letter of thanks ref Gift Aid).

I'm always amazed at the amount of 'begging letters' sent by charities at this time of year - surely the costs of doing that would be better spent on their charity function? I know it's classed as fundraising expenditure and awareness-raising but it causes grief to those who cannot afford to donate (or increase existing donations) and there are so many in need of help

I expect you will be thinking that it is a good way to teach children to give to others instead of being selfish. However, they are always coming to me with requests to support them in a sponsored race or competition, they are always coming for donations to school charities and they also take their unwanted toys to Charity shops, so I think they have learned that lesson already, and I am pleased that they have. They also fill shoe boxes for children overseas too which they have fun doing.