realising you don't need to keep stuff!

Although today I did peep through the window of the summer house. Retreated when I spotted 3 lawn mowers, a couple of big heavy metal wheelbarrows, a motley assortment of aged canvas chairs and enough clay pots to stock a garden centre.

My parents have recently died and I am clearing the house they had lived in for 50 years. It is totally daunting as so much useless stuff has been kept. They have been using cracked chipped crockery, threadbare towels and in the cupboards I am finding new versions obviously kept for "best" . Their "best" time came and went without them being used.
I have paperwork for everything under the sun, even going back to my great grandparents probate papers, millions of unnamed photos, and that's just in the house. The workshop is lined from floor to ceiling with shelves of tins labelled with contents, eg short nails, short pieces of string, etc.
Very sadly all I have chosen so far to keep for my own house are a couple of paintings and a few bits of jewellery.
I am quite minimalistic but this experience is making me even more sure not to keep anything I don't use, love or need.
Any idea about how many years of paperwork for utilities, bank statements, income tax etc need to be kept?
I haven't ventured into the huge attic yet, or the garage or the summer house!

l am heartened by words of help on how to let go of things from relatives who have passed such as gifts from my sister which have never graced my shelves. l felt too guilty to give away because she chose them for me.

l had to also clear my brothers flat. The mountain of decades of old paperwork and stuff was overwhelming! Seconded by his collection of air rifles and air pistols - not my area of expertise!

My mothers house is crammed with stuff and nic nacs which will be left for me to sort when the times comes.

l am 55 and with all this in mind l am a serious declutterer and will not leave the same behind for my DD and DS.

Jordana, my OH spent years doing the family tree for both of us so he could give it to the children in case somebody wanted to carry it on. Actually it kept him busy and gave him something to get stuck in to to ease him in to Retirement, but it cost us a fortune in birth certificates etc etc. He put it on to memory sticks and gave each family a copy.

One bonus for me was that we travelled UK to see the places where people came from, taking photos of churches and houses if they were still there. I enjoyed that part of it.

I am the same as USAGARRY. I have kept cards sent to me by my children, who now have their own children...so I keep theirs as well! :-) They say I am mad cluttering up the place with things like that. I might well be, but there is no more than a drawer full. What I do get told off about is keeping toys when the children grow out of them. Actually they have been very useful for when the grandchildren come to visit. The time will come when they have to go soon enough.

I give books straight to charity now when I have read them. I used to hoard them but I had too many so I got rid of them.
Clothes I have grown out of but which are still in good nick I put in the charity bags you get through the door. I feel it is wrong to hoard them when there are so many people without or charities that could sell them.

I did go to a seconds shop with a suitcase full of my wedding outfits and a couple of best suits which I cannot get in to, but she said she didn't want them, which made me feel a bit miffed. They were lovely suits and good quality. They went to Oxfam who were overjoyed, so I hope they found a good home.

I remember clearing out my Mother's home when she died. She had lots of handbags full of lots of 'stuff'! It was upsetting to see what she had kept. All sentimental stuff such as our little notes and drawings. She even had our clothes we used to wear before we got married in the spare room wardrobe. They had been hung so long the colour on the shoulders had faded. She might just as well have thrown them out, but we should have done that for her I suppose.

It is a very difficult job sorting out someone else' 'stuff' and as I said to OH a lot of it our children would not even know the value of. Old engineering tools OH's father had. Old treasures that have been passed down the families, china tea services, old photographs of people we don't know. A chest that had stuff from Rhodesia when GGD lived there before WWI, also GGM's jewellery and Victorian jewellery and medals from WWII. I told my OH to label it all because our children would not know what they were or where they came from. As for photograph albums, well we all have those don't we.

Lucky for us these days photographs are stored on computers, but sometimes I think what a waste because all that history will be dumped when the computer goes the same way when we die because our children have their own 'clouds' don't they.

Decide to sort out the loft and get rid of stuff, so my son and gs came over to help. I have now discovered that it runs in the family as both of them are also hoarders and not much went!

nannyinogmore have you tried freecycle or freegle? Both are great for giving away stuff you no longer need.

MIL kept lots of photos, quite nice ones, but many of them don't have names on them and we have no idea who they are.

Someone mentioned keeping fotos for the future generations. I have spent years doing the family trees of my husband's side and my own, but none of my kids or grandchildren are interested! I did it for myself out of Interest and thought they might be curious about their ancestors. Maybe in the future they might be so I have kept the information on computer and also in folders in the desk

I am buying a narrow boat to live on when I retire next year. I am having to seriously downsize. It is very difficult. I am wondering why I had kept so many Christmas cards. I am looking at 'stuff' in a totally new way now...hahaha

When we moved a year ago we actually bought a larger house. However, we got rid of a load of 'stuff' and have never regretted it. Now we don't keep anything in the loft because all the 'stuff' we had there in the old house was never used, just stored. Loved the feeling of getting rid of things!

My 87 year old sister is a hoarder. She has spent her life going to the shops buying clothes, ornaments and furniture and her house is rammed. She never cleans. I have nearly killed myself cleaning her house twice when she went into hospital, and she screamed at me when I couldn't find the particular pair of trousers she wanted when she was in convalescence (I'd had to go through overflowing cupboards and drawers and a room rammed to the ceiling with binbags full of clothing). Having moved to another part of the country I am no longer able to do things for her, and now she has failing health.

I had very few things growing up, and try to compensate now. Someone mentioned wartime deprivation and I guess that, and living alone, is at the root of my sister's hoarding. The buzz of buying stuff seems to replace the huge vacant emotional space with no special friend and rarely visiting family.

I have a room full of folders containing my sons' schoolwork, certificates etc. which I intend to photograph then give the folders to them to do whatever they want. I also have shelves full of photographs which I was in the process of scanning into the computer, until a cheap inktank prevented the scanner working.

I also have a lifetime's clutter - wedding cake baubles even! I am also in the process of taking a photograph of all these items, then letting them go. The item will be gone, but the memory will still be there, in the form of a photograph, to be stored away and unlocked only if it doesn't cause too much pain. However.... I will still keep relics of my husband's interests in a tiny suitcase: his private pilot's licence etc, and best of all the lovely smell of rifle oil when I open the lid (no bullets or guns or rifles tho!).

I have treasured possessions that came from my parents house. As I approach the age they were when they died I have the same feelings that a lot of GNers have - what will the kids do with it when I am gone. So I suppose I ought to be starting to get rid of stuff that is purely sentimental. We have a chair that belonged to my great great grandmother which DH recently refurbished and it has already been claimed for after we go! My weakness is books, just can't bear to part with them.

We've just moved MiL in with us and have had to clear her old home. She moved in as a young bride 65 years ago, brought up her son and eventually lost her husband there. She had 9 months to prepare but when we finally came to move her, nothing much had been sorted. Now I feel like the wicked dil because we had to be ruthless. I won't do that to my kids

I think one tip for de-cluttering is to empty the drawer or cupboard and then you have to justify putting anything back - rather than staring at the contents and wondering what you could remove.
That's a really good idea Disgruntled - in fact I was wondering whether to do the same as I stared at the over-stuffed bedroom drawers this morning.
However, I have some boxes to go through first, stuff that was packed away when we re-decorated.

I will try to apply your theory to them.

Oh please come and sort out my loft when you are free jordana! Have shoved it all up there and promised myself I will sort out a box each time I go up - needless to say I have found a way round that and send someone else up there instead when I want something lol!

As far as I'm concerned stuff is just stuff, and the only value is what we emotionally invest in it. I try and value people not things, but can understand why others who for complex reasons can't let go of stuff. There is so much pressure on us to keep buying and replacing things. It's what keeps the economy afloat!

You can still Freecycle soft furnishings.

Take note and never be tempted to cut out the fire safety lables even if they tend to stick out of the side of the chairs etc. Once they have been lost the seating is not re-saleable.

Inishowen I do watch it every so often. I must say I would not want most of that stuff in the house all shabby and not much chic. It looks like something out of the student houses my children lived in.

Do any of you watch "Money for Nothing" on BBC in the afternoons? I'm amazed at what people take to the tip. I can't understand why it doesn't go to the charity shop, but it is probably the lack of safety labels. Someone took a lovely American wooden trunk to be dumped. Sarah refurbished it, then the family had the cheek to ask for it back!

To answer the question in the OP - I don't think it's an age thing at all. These days, young families seem to be more keen on not accumulating clutter (I'm certainly encouraging my DS and DiLs not to) and keeping everything digitally where necessary.

I think one tip for de-cluttering is to empty the drawer or cupboard and then you have to justify putting anything back - rather than staring at the contents and wondering what you could remove.
A friend of mine told me yesterday that her mil wrote on the back of photos, not only listing who everyone was, but also describing the colours in black and white photos.

Just a word of warning when trying to dispose of beds, settees, chairs without fire safety label, these will not be accepted by any of the Charities, cannnot be legally sold or given away - sad if they are in good condition but local "tip" is the only answer

I have moved twice in less than 5 years, each time downsizing so less "clutter" than I had. I have boxes under my bed with "sentimental" items which I go through periodically & usually get rid of some bits. My Lilliput Lane Collection & Giles Cartoon Collection my DD has informed me "she will sell" when I'm gone ££££s in her eyes

I'm dreading having to sort DM's home (she's 87) although she has parted with some things. She has however wardrobes full of clothes - Charity Shops will do well. Rest of furniture will be off to Auction together with all her other possessions except the few items DD & I want. Probably several trips to Re-Cycling

We have Freely Wheelie in our area. I have been amazed at the amount of stuff that people have taken. Seems to work much better than our Freecycle site

Have you contacted Social Services? Some years ago a social worker came to my house and took quite a lot of stuff to donate to needy people. Maybe they don't do that now though as people are perhaps choosier. I have left small items on the pavement with a message saying " Free" and everything went, but I suppose it depends on your area.