How friendly are you with your neighbours?

sorry about typos !!

We are very lucky, we have fantastic neighbours. We live in a cul de sac, some are our age, most a little younger, probably in thier fifties. Some are just on " Morning, nice day terms", our nearest ones we know better. I have a key for the Lady next door, she is alot younger than I am but has ME. I keep an eye on her curtains, if they remain drawn for an unusual length of time then I am in to check her out :-).

She has alot more time than I do, and is always popping notees, and cuttings of interesting, helpful articles through my letterbox. Once when I was through in the bedroom on the 'phone I came back to find a couple of cakes on my worktop I knew it was her.

If anyone is ill then other people rally rounnd with offers to shop etc, and yet we do not live in one another's pockets. It's great I love it here.

I know a small handful of my neighbours, but the ones I know I know very well and consider close friends.

I use holidays to reach out: Halloween, Christmas, New Year, that sort of thing is good for making connections with neighbours.

If I see new neighbours move in I knock on the door and say Hi and give them a bottle of wine and a card.

Some are receptive/reciprocal, some aren't. That's fine, I have some great neighbours who I can and have called on in emergencies and vica versa.. only as a result of reaching out though

I agree with Christine - it certainly seems to work like that here (rural France). We've helped them out in different ways, and they've helped us a few times in emergencies.
So, Jordana try that with your neighbours. On the whole people are the same everywhere in that way.
Sadly, the only exceptions to this were English neighbours, who have now left. But they had big problems of their own.

I just love all my neighbours. We have meals together occasionally, Pimms on sunny evenings, help each other out with whatever and as far as tools etc are concerned we want for 'nowt we've got between us'. Before too long I need to move into town while fit enough to cope with the move but my lovely neighbours keep me here. Lovely people all of them.

Yes, Christine it does help to look at things from the opposite point of view and if you do things for them they are hopefully more likely to reciprocate.

We haven't been in our home very long and most of the neighbours have been here since the places were built so trying to inch our way in is not easy. We persevere!
Having said all that we once had horrendous neighbours so we have been very wary here. All seems to be well in þis neighbourhood though and nobody seems to be either the 'kingpin' or in protectionist mode so that has been very reassuring!

Maybe turn that on its head and see how you could help them. The drink and mince pie idea to break the ice is a good way to start. I'm sure there are small things you could help them with as you are at home then it may become reciprocal.

We have been in this house 30 years and a mile away for the previous 11 so we know most people on the village. There were unpleasant people next door when we came here but eventually they left and we have had lovely ones ever since. We socialise a bit and look after garden, feed cat etc. When needed. This is a very friendly village if people want to join in, if not they can keep to themselves and no-one bothers them.

We moved to a friendly community, we know most by name. The majority are older than us (!) but were very welcoming. There is little day to day visiting each other but there is kindness and friendliness and help when needed. Just the right balance for us.

We've been here over 35 years and, apart from one or two, don't really know the neighbours very well. My DH is a very nice, outgoing man but for some reason if he is about to go out and sees one of the neighbours outside, he waits until they have gone before he goes out!

When we first moved to our small street by the sea 36 years ago we were the youngest residents and only the second family with young children. I am now the longest, but not the oldest, resident and am surrounded by 40 something couples with families. All the Mums work, none of them walk anywhere and, although they are not unfriendly, they have little time to acknowledge me yet alone chat. Their cars go back and forth all day taking the offspring to school/sports/clubs etc. and childminders, nannies and the odd grandparent seem to be in charge. I am the chief parcel taker-inner but usually have to deliver as they never seem to have time to read the delivery notes. Luckily there are a few old friends who still live at the other end of the street... Time for a change. Just have to find a buyer for my house!

Jordana, I'm sure that any of your neighbours would help if the need arose. People these days are so bound up with work, that there isn't the time to socialise with neighbours. We have lived here for 46 years and when we first moved in , to a new house, everybody was in the same boat, and we were all young with children. Gradually they have moved, or died, and it is such a different mix now, but although we don't live in each others houses, we are all, except one couple, friendly. The house next door is rented, and we seem to be the 'go to' ones if they need anything, but I know if we needed help, we could ask them in an instant.

When we first moved here we became very friendly with people in all the houses on either side and with the people opposite and we used to socialise a lot.

Then one couple got divorced (didn't see that coming ) one couple moved and female half of our immediate neighbours died. We all did what we could while she was ill and we see quite a bit of her widower as we share a drive. He feeds our cat and we water his garden.

But, it's not the same and DH and I say we must 'do' something. The thing is, what? Our immediate neighbours on the other side are friends of our middle daughter so it could feel very strange to her, her Dh and new baby coming for a drink with us and all the other old folk. I'm sure everyone would help in an emergency but it isn't like it was.

Quite a few of our neighbours have been here for many years (as have we) and our children grew up together around here. Only one that I go into their house, and she mine, now though. Others will chat and I know would help out. My OH has lived here all his life, and there are a few he grew up with still in the area. My immediate neighbours are lovely, older couple with nice family too.
That said I would move away tomorrow if I could, hate the town.

We have horrible lot in the next house down, nobody has anything to do with them. But that is the only problem bunch (there always seems to be one) along here.

Our neighbours either side are friendly, we all take parcels in for each other. H and the other men borrow tools from each other and will lend an extra pair of hands with DIY. We are on chatting terms with others in the area, there's only ten houses in our section.
None of us have coffee mornings or drinks parties though.

We have only recently moved so do not really know people, but my experience is that if someone is in trouble then people rally round.

We have had several chats with one neighbour; the other is very ill and bedbound so I have not troubled her. But up the road is a guy who has started doing our garden; and opposite is an ex-patient of my OH's who has said to call on him if in need in any way - he can see OH has PD.

In lan to invite people for a drink on NY day.

Both sides are a young couple with new babies which is nice. Both quiet and pleasant. We are invited to see the newest baby one afternoon next week. There are 5 or 6 couples who get together for a meal a couple or more times a year - next is the weekend before Christmas. Christmas food and carol sing along, which is always a nice time.
On nodding and pass the time of day with quite a few others.

Our immediate neighbours I know by name and we are reasonably friendly but not in and out of each others houses, we take in parcels for each other and put out the bins if someone is away. Other neighbours are friendly enough at a distance and that suits me fine, I'm always a bit wary of being over friendly as I once had a neighbour who was too friendly and constantly wanting my attention. A lady a few doors down seems very nice and I did want to invite her in and make friends but during a 'chat' in the garden she told me she had recently been sectioned and was depressed so I'm afraid I never invited her in but felt a bit mean but from past experience I was very wary. What would you of done?

About 50% are rented properties here but I have come to know the children who live there so also their parents.

I look after 2 houses when they go on holiday and I seem to take in parcels on a weekly basis. With one exception we are a friendly community and the vast majority would help. I occasionally go out for a meal with a brother and sister who live here.

I am sure your neighbour's would help you out if you needed it. We have been here five years and know most people by their first names, but apart from our immediate neighbour's, I couldn't tell you anyone's surname. They are all very nice people. Most are younger than us and work, except for the guy across the road who is retired and who DH has long chats with in the summer when they are both outside. Just after they moved in, the young couple on the other side of the road asked us to feed their fish while they were away and this has become a regular thing that we do for them. Our immediate neighbour has always been very helpful, and always says to ask if we need anything doing, but I am loathe to do it unless it's an emergency because he works long hours, mostly away from home, and I don't feel it's right to take up his downtime.

My neighbours have lived here as long as I have and they are helpful and chatty but the rest of the street are rented properties, residents speak as they pass, but most we never see.

Looking after one neighbour's dogs this weekend. Teach the piano to another's daughter. Has a house warming (!) when moved back after our fire and invited half the street - and they all came. I think there was a lot of bonding when the fire engines arrived!!! Certainly half the street were out watching and helping take dogs to the vet.

Another party planned between Christmas and New Year.

Yes, we know them well NOW!

I never used to see our neighbours until I retired. During the day its like a different place. Its lovely to see everyone out and about and we have great chats. That's the benefit of retirement -I have time!

Yes, they would help you if you asked. Most people are kind and helpful I find, just wrapped up in their own world.
How about taking the initiative though. Ask your immediate neighbours to pop in on Christmas Eve or New Year's Day for a drink and mince pie. If they accept, ask them if there are any other neighbours you might include.
I do this every New Year's Day and the neighbours seems to enjoy seeing each other and me.